The Lone Writer
by Kaname84
Summary: Eren was curious about the silent man that always sat alone in the library. He wanted to get to know the man and decided to slowly integrate himself into his life. That integration sped up faster than he predicted, putting him through more than he could handle. It had started off promising, though went crazy with its ups and downs. Then love just complicated things. LevixEren Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: We do not own Attack on ****Titan**** or it's ****characters****.**

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**Chapter One- Eren **

"Alone again." I muttered under my breath as I peeked through the bookshelves.

It was that guy from my English class, the one who always sat in the back on the far left. I had never heard him speak or seen him interact with anyone else. He was always by himself, writing in one of his notebooks or on his laptop. I didn't know what he was writing, but I was curious. I pretended to be interested in one of the books in front of me as someone walked down the aisle. Once they were gone, I peeked back through the library bookshelves. Like clockwork he came to the library after lunch and sat at the table in the far corner by a window. He never acknowledged anyone and he was always alone, he was truly a mystery.

However, that was only part of why I paid so much attention to him. He just seemed so . . . lonely. I didn't know for sure if that was the case, he could be perfectly content, but a large part of me didn't like it. I didn't like seeing him sit by himself day after day. It bugged me that no one was making an effort to get to know him. Maybe he wasn't lonely, but just in case he was I wanted to do something about it. I scanned the shelve for some interesting titles and read the summaries before taking four of them with me. Then I walked out of the aisle and headed towards the lone writer.

He was a silent man with black hair styled in an undercut, an impassive expression forever donning his face. The air around him wasn't exactly friendly, but it wasn't unfriendly either. Perhaps he was shy and didn't deal with others well. I had a close friend like that and I knew how to be patient. The closer I got to his table, the more questionable stares were tossed my way. It made my stomach turn and anger flair through my body. What the hell was their problem? They didn't even know me or the lone writer, yet they thought I was crazy to go over to him? Maybe it was odd because no one else ever did it, but they didn't have to be rude. Judgemental assholes.

I reached the table and found the lone writer focused in on his laptop, a pair of earbuds in his ears. I quietly sat in the seat across from him and set my books down on the table. I grabbed the book on the top and glanced up at the lone writer, noting that up close his eyes were a striking blue-grey. He hadn't noticed me yet so I opened my book and started reading. I was about ten pages in when I felt someone's gaze on me and looked up, right into those blue-grey eyes. I smiled at him and he blinked at me before returning to his laptop. I quietly giggled at the behavior, glad he had earbuds so he didn't think I was laughing at him.

He definitely seemed like the shy type and I couldn't help finding it cute. I went back to my book and took it as a good sign he didn't look uncomfortable or ask me to leave, though I doubted he would say anything. My first goal was to get him used to me and maybe then I would try for conversation. He didn't look up again and we both stayed in our own little worlds until it was time for the library to close. I finished my four books and got up to put them back, glancing at the lone writer before I left. He hadn't looked at me, but I felt eyes on my back after I started walking away from the table. Day one was a success.

The next day I took some time choosing more interesting books and brought five to the lone writer's table. This time he looked at me as I sat down and I gave him another smile, trying to give off friendly vibes. He went back to writing and had his earbuds in again today. I figured whatever he listened to either helped him concentrate or tune out the world, perhaps both. I opened one of my books and started reading. I was always a fast reader so I had to get multiple books to pass the time, but I truly enjoyed reading. I had my own little library at my apartment and was on the lookout for more books to add. It was nice to sit with someone and read, I found the lone writer's presence comforting. He may have been shy, but he had a calm air about it. I liked it.

We sat together until it was time for the library to close again and I got up to put my books back. It would take some time to build a routine, but I was more than willing to do it. I kept up the same behavior for the next week, the only thing changing being the number of books I grabbed from the shelf. Phase one was complete. He seemed to get used to me and I was hopeful enough to start on phase two in the middle of the second week. I walked into my English class and spotted the lone writer in his usual seat, already writing in one of his notebooks. I ditched my norm and went to the back, sitting down one seat away from him. I didn't want to scare him off by getting too close, but I wanted to send the message that I knew he was there. I was acknowledging his existence.

It took him a few moments to notice it was me and when he did he looked over, blinking at me a couple times. I couldn't help smiling at his confusion, but I didn't look back at him. I felt him staring for a while before he went back to his notebook and only then did I glance at him. He had a large cup of coffee on his right and I wondered if that was something he always did or just today, I hadn't noticed it before. I was excited about learning something new about him and looked for the cup the next day. Sure enough it was there, the strong smell of coffee filling the small area. For the rest of the week and the following one, I sat with the lone writer during English and in the library. Not one word was spoken between us until that fourth week.

I took my seat across from him in the library and started reading a book from this new series I found. About two chapters in, the silence was finally broken.

"Hey."

I looked up at the deep voice, the lone writer sitting with one of his earbuds out. "Hi." I smiled happily.

His eyes fell to the book I was reading and he looked back at me, shaking his head. "You shouldn't keep reading that."

"How come?" I asked curiously, suspecting he had read it before.

He leaned back in his chair, stretching for a moment before responding. "Because it will piss you off. Or worse, make you cry like a baby."

"Hm, a tragedy." I sighed in understanding and slight disappointment. "That sucks. It started off so well too, I thought I found a good series to get lost in. Shame."

"It's very disappointing and I didn't like it so I didn't want you wasting your time like I did." He grumbled and grabbed his other earbud, eyes moving back to his laptop.

I tried to contain my excitement, the first conversation a success. It might have been short, but it was progress. He even started it and in an odd turn of events I was proud of him. I picked up the series and left to put it back on the shelf. I scanned around for a different one and brought it back to read instead, silently holding up the first book for approval. He looked up after a second and gave me a curt nod before going back to his laptop. It was funny how something small like that could make me so giddy, but after a months worth of effort this was awesome. I opened the book and read the first chapter, already realizing how much better it was than the other one. I was able to get through the whole series by the time the library closed and really liked it. I glanced up at the lone writer and was surprised to find him asleep, completely passed out in the chair.

"Poor thing." I cooed, finding it cute. I stood up and walked the short distance to his seat, almost not having the heart to wake him but knowing I had to. "Hey, it's time to go."

He didn't so much as flinch at the sound of my voice, head tipped straight back and earbuds silent. I took one of them out and tried again, not speaking too loudly considered where we were. I frowned when he still didn't wake up. He must of been a heavy sleeper. I leaned in closer and tried one more time, preferring not to shake him awake.

"Hey, the library's closing."

His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me, blue-grey eyes clouded and half lidded. "What?" He breathed, staring at me in confusion.

"It's time to leave." I smiled and then decided to tease, "And you're drooling."

Sighing sleepily he raised his hand to his mouth and rubbed his thumb across his lips. "Need coffee." He grumbled quietly and closed his eyes again, unmoving.

"Uh oh." It looked like he was out again and I wasn't sure what to do. I glanced at my watch, figuring I had just enough time.

I picked up my books and quickly put them back on the shelf before leaving the library, rounding the corner for the nearest vending machine. I pulled out my wallet and bought a can of black coffee. He might not like it, but at least it was something. I dashed back around the corner and into the library while one of the librarians gave me a dirty look. The lone writer was still out cold at the table, dead to the world. I tapped his shoulder, not having the time to coax him awake again. That librarian had looked more than ready to kick us out.

"Hey, look. I brought you some coffee." I said and held it up, hoping to entice him.

He groaned and opened his eyes, straightening his head. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked at the can I held up and then me. "Why?" He questioned quietly, eyes moving to his laptop as he started putting it and his other things away.

"Because you seemed to want some." I explained. "Do you not like black?"

"I do." He muttered and got to his feet, having shoved everything in his backpack. His eyes fell to the can as he put the backpack on his back and then took the can out of my hand. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I grinned and we silently made our way out of the library. I paused before we went our separate ways, wanting to tell him goodbye. "See you tomorrow."

He glanced back at me, still looking tired and uninterested. "See you." He said and then walked away.

Second conversation was a success. _I'm making progress slowly but surely_, I thought and wondered why the shorter man was so sleepy today. He was always working on something, but I didn't know what. He could have just been studying late last night or got up earlier than normal this morning. He was easy enough to interact with and it still irked me that no one else had tried. The next day the lone writer had his coffee in English class that I now suspected was black, his expression just as impassive as always. I hoped to learn more about him as time went on and decided to kick things up to phase three, asking his name. I planned to do it at the library and went to lunch with an impatient air about me. I sat down next to my friends Mikasa and Armin, not even saying hello before I started wolfing down my food.

"Whoa, it's not going to run away Eren." Armin laughed, blue eyes amused. We had been buddies since way back in the day, my outgoing personality bringing the shy blond out of his shell.

"I'm not saving you if you choke." Mikasa warned, moving her black hair out of her black eyes. She had joined our small group during middle school and was as cold hearted as they came. To anyone but us at least.

"E'm eyine." I said around my food, covering my mouth with my hand.

Mikasa shook her head. "Gross."

"What's the hurry? Do you have plans or something?" Armin asked curiously.

I swallowed my food before answering. "I'm in the middle of a project."

"Again?" Armin chuckled but Mikasa didn't find it amusing.

"So who's the victim this time?" She asked sarcastically. "Not everyone wants to be your friend, Eren, sometimes you need to leave people alone."

"There is nothing wrong with being friendly, Mikasa." I told her. It wasn't like I went after people or anything like that, I was just a social guy.

"No, but I worry about you. One of these days you're going to bug the wrong person. I would hate to go to jail before I graduate." She said and I pouted. She still treated me like a kid.

Armin took a sip of his lemonade and then commented. "You're friendly with a lot of people, but you only have two real friends. Do you think this person is going to be different or are they going to shrug you off like the rest?"

I knew he wasn't trying to be harsh, but I hated it when he threw the facts in my face. Just as I started mulling over his words a hand was laid on my shoulder and I turned my head, eyes widening in surprise at seeing it was the lone writer.

"I need to borrow you." He said simply, staring down at me with the same impassive expression he always had.

"Uh, sure." I said once I got over my shock, ignoring the looks Armin and Mikasa were giving me.

I got up and tossed what was left of my food away, following him out of the cafeteria and into the hall. I came to a halt when he stopped suddenly and turned around. He held his notebook towards me and I looked down at it in confusion.

"Tell me what's wrong with this paragraph." He told me, sounding impatient.

I took the notebook, wondering why I was being tested. "Alright." I read through it twice before moving closer, holding the notebook between us so he could see. "Right here. It sounds repetitive and feels a little stand still. I would replace this word with a synonym and add some dialogue here, omitting the sentence there entirely."

He took the notebook back from me, brows furrowing as he stared at the paragraph and then pulled a pen out of thin air and started scribbling on the page. Once he was finished he breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I said, extremely curious about the rest of the notebook. Had he been writing novels this whole time? Were all his notebooks filled with his work? Was he a literal lone writer? I had a lot of questions, but settled on one. "I'm Eren, by the way. What's your name?"

He closed his notebook and shoved it in his backpack before meeting my gaze. "Levi." He said quietly.

"Levi." I repeated, thinking it suited him. "I'll see you in the library soon. Save me a seat?"

"Actually, I won't be going today." He told me and then after a few seconds added, "There's a writing class at the bookstore today. I'll be going."

_So he is a writer._ "Oh, I see. Well I wish you luck and hope you learn a lot." I said, not wanting to push my own luck and ask to come along. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

He nodded once, looking me over thoughtfully. "Yeah. Tomorrow." He agreed and then turned to walk away.

He really was so cute.

I went back to the cafeteria to grab my shoulder bag, sparing Mikasa and Armin a short explanation. Even if he wasn't going to be there, I still wanted to go to the library and read. I was interested in what kind of writer someone like Levi was. If he was writing on his laptop as well, he had to have a lot of stories. It was unexpected, but strangely fitting for his quiet persona. Armin and Mikasa might have their doubts, but there was nothing wrong with wanting to make a new friend. Levi seemed cool and if he wanted to then I would be glad to befriend him. Since he was into writing, I wondered if that's what he was going to college for. I was an English major myself, but I had no idea what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I didn't have that dream job and was taking the basic required classes at the moment.

Levi striked me as the type that didn't waste time so I was positive he already knew what he wanted. The paragraph I read wasn't enough to get a feel for his style and presence as an author, but structurally and grammatically it was solid. It was a big discovery and I was happy he seemed to be opening up to me little by little. I finished four books during my time at the library and headed home afterwards. I walked to the bus stop and googled best selling books, seeing what was hot and what was new. One of my favorite authors was working on the last book in her series and the due date was coming up, I was really excited for it. No matter how early I had to get to the bookstore, no matter how long I had to wait, I was purchasing that book. Then I would go home and read it from cover to cover and finally discover how everything ends.

I listened to some music when I got on the bus and took a window seat, watching the familiar sights go by. It took fifteen minutes to get to my stop and I stretched when I got off, ready to go inside my apartment and relax. I went up to the fifth floor and closed the door with a sigh, toeing my shoes off immediately. I put my bag in my bedroom and took a nice warm shower. I was blessed with not having homework today, but I had a History test coming up soon. After I changed into my pajamas, I made a light dinner and got cozy on the couch. Then I flipped through the channels until I found something I liked and watched that while I ate. College life was a lot different than high school and I was still getting used to it. My friends didn't have time to hang out much and honestly neither did I, proper rest and sleep grew more important every semester between studying and homework.

Sometimes the silence of my apartment would get to me, but it wasn't that different than when I lived with my dad. I was used to the quiet atmosphere, though that didn't mean I didn't get uncomfortable by it. Some days were better than others, but it wasn't that bad. My love life on the other hand had seemed to breathe its last breath. I had been single for awhile now and haven't had time to actively look for someone. Lately, I had only come across people who flat out refused to bottom or just wanted a one night stand. I didn't do one night stands and I certainly didn't bottom. It wasn't that I hated the idea, but all the tops I had met were either an arrogant piece of shit or simply not compatible with me. I enjoyed topping anyway, so it didn't really matter. I went through my whole life without bottoming and that suited me just fine. I did miss having someone to cuddle though, it was no secret I was a clingy lover.

Perhaps I would try to resurrect my love life during a break, but as of right now I had school to focus on and a project to finish. Levi was the most interesting person I had come across in a while and my desire to be his friend wasn't only because he had seemed lonely, there was something about him that made me want to get closer. I wanted to understand him and figure him out, solve his mystery. If it turned out I annoyed him and he wanted nothing to do with me then I would leave him alone. Otherwise, I wanted to be careful not to offend him or scare him off. He seemed straightforward and firm in his opinion, but there was an awkwardness there as well and a shyness that was really fucking adorable. I would admit he was good looking, however I was after his friendship and nothing more. Anything else would just make things complicated.

I went to bed after I finished eating and snuggled under the covers. I was looking forward to reading more books, talking to Levi and learning more about him in general. Maybe the next phase would be building up enough trust so I could read some of his works. All in all, the lone writer certainly had my attention.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two- Levi**

Struggling with my writing was the worst possible thing that could happen to me. Being able to write was the only thing that kept me sane and when I ever hit a bump in the road, it ate at me until I was just before losing my mind. It didn't happen often, but when it did it was hell. Writing was the only thing I was passionate about and I'd been working on my first novel that I didn't consider absolute trash for well over a year now.

The only constant thing in my life besides my writing was my cat, Luther. He kept me company while I agonized over my writing and was an inspiration in his own way. He was six years old now and the best pet anyone could have asked for, even if he was extremely lazy.

Some days were good, others were shit and regardless it seemed that I was never sleeping anymore, surviving on coffee and occasional fast food, completely immersed in my work to the point of being unable to quit unless I absolutely had to or I passed out from exhaustion as I was writing. It happened pretty often.

I didn't like being distracted and that's what I thought who I now knew as Eren was going to be doing when he started sitting at my usual table day after day, but he never interrupted me when I was writing. I didn't know why he could possibly want to sit anywhere near me when most people were afraid to approach me at all, but I had no reason to push him away. He didn't bother me and sometimes when I watched how passionately he read books in the library it inspired me and gave me a little push to write more, better.

When he'd helped me with the paragraph I'd been fighting with for several hours, I felt such relief and for the first time in my life was glad to have someone around—especially someone who liked books. He read a lot and he was fast. I was glad I'd thought of asking him and followed through with it. Since then I hadn't been having any issues and had been writing even more than I usually did.

All of my effort went into my writing, but I still managed to do exceptional in my core classes, even if I never took the time to study. I'd gotten so far with my work that it was all I could think about and that only got worse as I reached the climax of the entire plot. I was so close. I couldn't sleep, no matter how tired I was. Everything had to be perfect but after three days of little to no sleep, I was running on fumes and noticed my writing was suffering because of it.

I was in the library, glaring at my laptop, the words on it seeming to scowl right back at me. So frustrating. I was too tired to deal with it and even though I'd just drank a large coffee, my eyes were threatening to close. I held my face in my hands, trying to fight it. I couldn't give in and fall asleep in the library. Not again. There was a good chance that when I finally did pass out I wasn't going to be waking up for a long time.

Eren was sitting across from me and he looked up from the book he was reading when I closed my laptop and snatched my earbuds out of my ears. I would have to go home and get some sleep and start again with a fresh mind. I knew it, but that didn't make it any less upsetting. It was possible that after I woke up I'd hate everything I'd already written and not be able to go with it as it was. How many times had I scrapped chapter after chapter?

Knowing Eren was probably curious as to why I was leaving so suddenly, I spared him a glance and told him I had to get home. He didn't argue and bid me goodbye, but not without me noticing the look of concern in his eyes. I'd be fine after a little sleep. Every so often this happened to me. I'd get so sleep deprived that I had no other option but to crash.

That's just what I did. As soon as I made it home, I laid my backpack on the couch and dragged my feet through my house on the way to my bedroom. I didn't even remember falling on the bed before I was out cold and I didn't wake up until the next afternoon, but luckily it was Saturday and I didn't have school to worry about.

My mind went straight to my work as I got up, taking a shower and then going into my kitchen for coffee and food. I was starving, so I cooked myself breakfast and then cleaned up before moving to my study with a fresh cup of coffee. With a sigh, I pulled up the document on my computer instead of my laptop and meant that today, I was going to make it happen. No backtracking. I couldn't give myself time to second guess what I'd already written. I had to push forward.

Miraculously, I succeeded and it was just after midnight. I'd trudged through and managed to wrap up the entire plot and now only had to write the closing but for some reason, my initial plan didn't seem to fit. Another idea came to me and even though I hesitated, I ended up writing it out and when I wrote the last sentence, I just stared at the screen in disbelief.

I spent the rest of the weekend reading over the rough draft, editing and polishing up everything but still wasn't finished with it by Monday. I worked on it throughout the school day and ended up finishing in the library that same day. I wasn't sure how I felt about it and once again, I just stared at the ending, unable to believe that I'd done it. It made sense. It fit so well. I couldn't even complain about it.

Forcing my eyes away from the document, I opened my notebook and jotted down a few poetic sentences that suddenly came to me. The possibility of writing a sequel on my mind but I wasn't going to get ahead of myself. No, I was. I couldn't stop. Nothing I'd ever written meant so much to me. I was proud. I was happy with it. I didn't want it to end. How could I have finished it?

That thought had me glancing over at Eren and remembering that he was always most invested in series rather than stand alones. It wasn't so bad to keep up with a story… it was actually a good idea. It wasn't like I had any intention of doing anything with the work anyway, it was purely for my own enjoyment. So I started writing out more and more ideas. More world building. Hidden information that was teased in the first adaptation that I could use without having thought of it before.

New characters. They were always fun to figure out. There was so much to do and not enough time in the days. The feeling of excitement bubbling inside me felt strange, but I didn't hate it. Really, this was cause for celebration. I looked back at Eren, and couldn't believe the words that fell from my lips.

"Come to my place. Today. Like now."

Eren blinked a me a few times before responding. "Uh, what?"

I got up, gathering my things before looking back at him. "Are you coming or not?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure." He said and collected his books. "I'll just put these back real quick." He explained and then went down one of the alises.

I waited for him by the exit, wondering why I was taking this guy to my house. It wasn't normal, not for me anyway. I supposed if there was anyone I wanted to share my thoughts on my book with, it would be him. Because it seemed like he was going to stick around me whether I wanted him to or not. He hurried with putting the books up and joining me and then we left the library together. It was a school night so it wasn't like I could get completely wasted, but I was definitely going to have a few drinks and it would be nice to have someone other than Luther to talk to for once.

"Do you want to ride with me or follow me there?" I asked as we made it out to the parking lot.

"I don't have a car, so I'll ride with you." He said and put his hands in his pockets.

I didn't expect that but I hummed in understanding. "Okay but I'm not driving my car today." I told him as I made a beeline for my motorcycle.

His teal-green eyes widened, a gasp leaving his lips. "That's unexpected." He said as he looked over my motorcycle. "So you've got a wild side, huh?"

Grabbing my backup helmet and handing it to him, I ignored that question completely. I got on my bike, putting my own helmet on and waiting for him to get on. After a second he got on behind me and held onto the back handle as I started the bike and left the parking lot. It was strange having someone else on my bike, but I didn't think much of it on the ride which wasn't long.

When I pulled into my driveway I pressed the button built into my bike to open the garage and drove in. As soon as I stopped Eren got off and I kicked the stand out and cut the engine, pulling my helmet off before getting up myself. I took his helmet and put them both away before leading the way to the door through the garage.

"The place is probably a mess." I grumbled as I opened the door and walked in.

He followed me, taking off his shoes before glancing around. "It's spotless so far. And huge. Do you have a big family?"

"No." I said as I walked over to check Luther's food and water. "It's just me. And Luther." Where was he anyway?

"Luther?" He questioned, trailing behind me further into the house.

As if knowing he'd been summoned, Luther pranced over, stretching out on the floor and sliding over the closer he got. I knelt down to pet him and he purred softly. "This is Luther."

Eren came closer to get a better look, expression softening. "I love cats, he's so handsome." He cooed.

"He's the best cat." I told him before getting back to my feet and wandering over to the kitchen. If I was going to have a few drinks, I needed to eat something and I should probably feed my guest too so that meant I needed to cook something.

While Eren was busy playing with Luther I figured out what I wanted to cook and got it started, then went back over to him. I knew it was probably rude to get him to come over and then throw my work at him, but for some reason I felt like he'd want to know about it.

"I want you to read something." I said as I gazed down at him, watching as he sat on the floor and played happily with Luther.

"Alright, what do you want me to read?" He asked, a hint of excitement in his voice.

"It's nothing special." I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest. "But it's finished now and I thought you should read it." If nobody else ever did… I had to share it with someone.

Luther settled in front of him and Eren looked at me curiously as he rubbed him. "Okay, lay it on me."

"Come with me." I said then, leading him into my study and over to my computer desk. Yes, this was where the magic happened. I turned on the computer and got the document pulled up, feeling less anxious than I expected I would. "It shouldn't take you long… but don't rush." I wanted him to really soak in every word so I could hear his honest opinion.

"Got it." He said and got comfy in my seat. "Could I borrow a pen and a piece of paper so I can take notes?"

I didn't know what he'd want to take notes for, but I didn't care to question him so I opened the drawer beside him and grabbed one of my small notepads and a pen before laying it in front of him. "That good?"

"Yes. Thank you." He smiled and then his attention moved to the computer screen.

Leaving him to it, I went back to the kitchen to check on the food. I kept to myself, quietly wondering what he was thinking every second since I'd walked away from him. This was something so new to me, but I wanted it. I wanted to know what he thought because I would respect his opinion. Dinner didn't take but another hour to finish and I fixed him a plate and grabbed a bottle of water for him, taking it to him quietly.

I couldn't help but study his face as I walked over, taking in his ever-changing expressions. He was completely absorbed in the story which was a good sign I supposed. Without a word I set the plate and bottle of water on the desk next to him and forced myself not to look at the computer to see just how far he'd gotten. He was fast so I knew he was probably halfway finished.

Eren didn't even glance at the food I'd brought him, too engrossed in his reading, but I wasn't offended. I turned on my heel and went to fix my own plate, sitting at the table and eating slowly. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew I wouldn't be able to until I finally heard what he had to say about it.

Once I finished eating, I cleaned the kitchen and fixed myself a drink. Finally. Celebrating the completion of my first novel. Celebrating the fact that for the first time, my eyes weren't the only one taking in those words. I sat in the living room on the couch, sipping my drink, refilling it and drinking some more until finally, Eren wandered over to me.

"Levi." He said seriously. "You really wrote that?"

I tapped my finger against my glass, gaze dropping as I wondered what he meant by that question. "I did." I said coolly, stressing a little.

"That's insane!" He exclaimed, volume suddenly increasing. "How long have you been writing? You must've been at it for years, your work is honestly up there with the pros! Please tell me you're thinking about publishing. Your protagonist was so relatable and I felt like I was there every step of the way. Though my favorite character was the main character's best friend. Oh, but don't get me started on you antagonist. I almost choked on my food towards the end there, that bastard was so manipulative, but I loved it. Also, thank you for dinner."

Hearing him go on about the story made me certain I'd made the right decision by sharing it with him. I finished the rest of my drink before getting up to fix another. I looked at him, wondering if I should tell him or not but finally decided that there was no reason not to. "No, I'm not going to publish it."

"What?" He whined, but was quick to correct himself. "Well, it's your decision . . . but I certainly enjoyed it. I appreciate you showing it to me."

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked as I walked past him on my way to the kitchen, eager for another drink of my own.

"Sure. Nothing too strong, though." He told me.

I fixed us both a drink, ignoring his request about it not being too strong. We sat on the couch together after I handed him his drink and Luther joined us, curling up on my lap. I scratched his head as I sipped on my drink, wanting to bring up my idea of writing more of the story I finished but found myself unable to bring it up. Maybe it was a sign that it wasn't meant to be and I should just start something new.

"Since you're not interested in publishing, does that mean you're not going to become an author?" He asked in confusion as he took a few sips of his drink.

Leaning back on the couch more comfortably, I sighed and stared at the wall across from us. "Why would I bother? The likelihood of it actually working out is practically nonexistent."

Eren hummed in disagreement. "I'm no expert, but I've read too many books to count and still only have a small collection of my favorites. You're book would easily make it onto my shelf."

"I'm glad you liked it." I told him sincerely and then had a sip of my drink, mind drifting. Why didn't I want to try, really? I wasn't sure but as long as I could write I supposed it didn't matter.

Eren took a few more larger sips. "Of course I did, it was high quality work, Levi. Oh, but I did find a couple of typos. I wrote them down along with the page number in your notepad."

"Typos?" I frowned. Even after all that editing. So disappointing.

"Yeah. Sometimes they're easy to read over, especially if it's a work you've looked at many times. It's nothing to feel bad about." He said and finished off his drink. "That's why every writer has an editor, you know?"

I knew he was right but that didn't mean I had to be happy about it. "Yeah." I agreed quietly, figuring it didn't matter anyway.

What's a typo? He'd already read it and nobody else would ever see it. For some reason I had a sudden urge to delete it completely. I didn't understand why I had to stress over it so much, but I just couldn't help it.

"Hey now, don't feel bad." He said, leaning back against the arm rest. "You did well."

"I don't feel bad." I grumbled, trying but failing to keep a scowl from forming on my face.

Eren chuckled. "I can tell, you might keep a straight face all the time, but I've learned a few things."

I got up, not sure what the hell he was on about. "You're crazy." Insane really. Why was he even in my house?

Rolling my eyes, I quickly went into the kitchen for more to drink, knowing I was over doing it but not giving a rats ass. I just decided to bring the bottle with me and my notebook with all my ideas in it. I filled my glass, had a sip and reached over to the end table, opening the drawer to pull out the pack of cigarettes I had stashed away for moods such as the one I was in now. As soon as I lit one and inhaled the smoke deeply, I opened the notebook and started ripping pages out.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Eren yelled once he saw what I was doing. "Levi, don't. They're precious to you, aren't they?"

"Useless." I grumbled, ripping page after page and tearing them up.

Eren came over and tried to take the notebook out of my hands. "Stop it!"

"Let go!" I snapped, trying to get the notebook away from him but he was relentless and I eventually gave up, letting go so I could pull the cigarette from my lips and groan. "Actually take it. You can have it." _What's left of it anyway_.

He huffed at me and started picking up the torn pages. "I don't know what set you off, but damn. I'll keep it until you decide you want it back. Better that than having you burn it when my back is turned. Please don't go destroying anymore."

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, smoking the cigarette and drinking to forget about it. I didn't know why he was so upset about it, if I wanted to destroy my own ideas it shouldn't be a problem. I hadn't calmed down even by the time I finished the cigarette and even though I knew now that I had drank more than I should have, I kept drinking while Eren made sure to get every last piece of paper and put them inside the notebook before putting it away in his backpack.

Eren didn't seem to be drinking anymore but that wasn't going to stop me. He sat back down on the couch next to me and rested his arm across the back, quietly studying me. I ignored his stare for a while, but after so long it just pissed me off and I turned to glare at him.

"What the hell are you staring at, damn brat?"

He continued to stare, seemingly unaffected. "Why are you so angry?"

I didn't have an answer to that because really… I just had no idea. I was more frustrated than angry. Two years of work and for what? For it to be over. For it to be completely pointless. I was just so disappointed. There was no room for me to be happy about it anymore. It wasn't worth the time I spent on it. Being completely devoted, focusing on nothing else for so long. It was my life for the past two years and now what? _Nothing_.

"I'm not fucking angry." I eventually snapped and had another drink. I never drank so excessively, so I was really feeling it and knew I should stop, yet still had no intention to.

"Then why are you sad?" He asked instead.

"Sad?" I scoffed. "As if."

He rested his head against his arm. "Well, you're not happy. If you aren't angry or sad, what are you?"

"Nothing." I muttered, way too drunk for all these questions.

"I see." He said and paused before adding, "Do you want to share that bottle before you drink it all?"

I shrugged, wishing he'd just take it from me. Otherwise I was going to drown myself. "Drink as much as you like." I said after finishing what was left in my glass and setting it on the coffee table. I probably couldn't drink anymore even if I tried anyway.

Eren took the bottle and filled his glass. "This stuff is pretty strong, but . . . fuck it." He said and knocked his drink back.

"Fuck it." I couldn't have agreed more. I rested back on the couch and closed my eyes, breathing deeply. I had calmed now, but only because I was so drunk that the way I felt was all I could concentrate on.

"Cheers to that." Eren chuckled and filled up his glass again, not hesitating to drink. "Oh, that burns."

"Slow down." I said, turning my head and peeling my eyes open to look at him. It didn't seem as if he was used to drinking such strong liquor and I didn't want him getting sick.

"There is no doubt I'm getting drunk." He stated. "I might be a bit of a light weight, but I can hold my liquor so you don't have to worry about me throwing up all over the place."

He'd better be sure, or else. "You have never cleaned anything like you will be cleaning if you even thinking about throwing up all over my house."

He laughed and filled up his glass again. "Relax, Levi. I'll be fine. Probably." He teased.

"Probably is not acceptable." I said seriously, thinking of taking the bottle from him. "Take it easy."

He looked at me defiantly before knocking back his drink for the third time. "Whew, that's good stuff."

"You're about to be fucked up." I sighed and moved to get another cigarette. No way in hell was I going to tend to him. Not a chance.

"That's the idea." He said and went to fill his glass yet again.

I lit my cigarette and reached over, snatching the bottle away from him. "That's it."

"But I want more." He said stubbornly and took hold of the bottle.

"No." I pulled the bottle away and moved it to my other side. Seeing him eye the bottle, I glowered. "You think about reaching over here and see what happens."

Eren raised an eyebrow, a smirk appearing on his face. "You telling me no just makes me want to do it more." He said and went for it, leaning over me to try and steal it back.

I grabbed his wrist with my free hand and twisted his arm, snatching him forward and tackling him onto the floor, holding him down with my knee on his chest. It happened so fast he stared up at me in surprise as I raised the cigarette to my lips, taking a draw.

"Don't fuck with me. I'll kick your ass without thinking twice about it." I threatened.

"Whoa . . . that's some wild side." He said and then smiled up at me. "Feel better now?"

I narrowed my eyes on him, not liking his taking my threat so lightly. "Don't smile at me." I huffed.

"No smiling, right." He said and tried to wipe it off his face, but just ended up giggling. "Nope, can't do it."

"You're not cute." I muttered, not liking that he actually was. "Stop it." I demanded, smashing his face with my hand.

"Hey!" He laughed, trying to shove my hand away. "I can't see!"

"Good." I smirked, refusing to pull my hand away. "I'll let you up if you don't try to drink anymore."

Eren's arms flopped down and he thought about it for a moment. "Alright, no more drinking."

Though I wasn't sure if he was being sincere or not, I got up to my feet and gazed down at him as he laid on the floor, goofy grin on his face. He was strange and I wasn't really sure what I thought about him. Leaving him there, I sat back on the couch and laid back. He still didn't move.

"Are you just going to lay on the floor?" I asked as I finished with my cigarette and put it out. When he never responded I leaned over to glance down at him and my eyes widened at finding him already passed out. "Damn brat." I huffed and grabbed a blanket, laying it over him before leaning back on the couch once more. It wasn't long after that I fell asleep myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three- Eren**

I woke up with the worst headache, refusing to open my eyes as I snuggled against the warmth that surrounded me. I drank way too much, I knew it, but I had to do something. I wanted to take Levi's mind off whatever was bothering him and if that meant I had to get drunk off my ass, so be it. I didn't know what time it was and I couldn't bring myself to care. Classes were not happening today and one absence wouldn't kill me. I was close to drifting off to sleep again when I felt a pressure squeeze my waist. I pulled the blanket further over my head and thought nothing of it until I realized something was moving behind me. I blinked my eyes open, thankful the shades were drawn, and took everything in. I was laying on the edge of the couch, two empty glasses and a bottle sitting on the coffee table in front of me. The room was quiet aside from the soft breathing behind me. _Wait, what?_

I glanced down and saw an arm wrapped around my waist, my heart beating faster as I figured out that it was Levi's chest that was moving behind me as he breathed. What in the world was going on? How did I end up cuddled on the couch with the lone writer? I refrained from freaking out, knowing it would only wake him up and aggravate my headache. I knew it had to have been my fault. I was in fact a cuddler and even more so when I got drunk. Though I didn't remember anything after passing out on the floor, had I moved after that? Levi suddenly stretched and I held my breath as his hips flexed forwards. This was not a good position to stay in, not at all. I waited until he settled and then moved to get up. I thought I was in the clear before his arm came back to my waist, pulling me closer. _Shit._ What was I supposed to do now? I thought for a moment before deciding.

I carefully brought my arm out from under the blanket, taking hold of his arm. I tried to lift it without using enough force to wake him up, but he wouldn't budge. This wasn't going to work. We were making a lot of progress as friends. He invited me over, let me read his work, we drank and even had our first fight. Being the little spoon was not helping any of that. It was way too friendly. Besides, if anything I should be the big spoon. Levi stirred again and rolled his hips as he tried to get comfy, a quiet gasp leaving me as I felt his dick rubbing against my ass. I could feel myself blush in embarrassment at the unfamiliar sensation. Perhaps waking him up would be better after all. I grabbed his arm again and was about to start shaking it when it traveled upwards, moving up to my chest. There was no way he wouldn't notice how fast my heart was beating if he woke up now and I didn't dare let go of his arm. I should have known something like this would happen, nothing good ever comes from me drinking.

Levi moved again, his hand splaying out as it moved back down my front at the same time he rutted up against me. This couldn't be a coincidence, there was no way. He had to be awake.

"You're messing with me, aren't you?" I asked and squeezed his arm.

"No." He mumbled, his hand moving to the hem of my shirt. "You're the one that snuck up here."

That . . . was probably true. "So I did. What are you trying to say?"

"You started it." He said simply, his hand trailing up my bare stomach slowly.

I thought about it, ignoring my headache and the part of me that said this was a bad idea. Was this about to happen? Were we really about to do this? Levi was attractive . . . really attractive. There was no denying it, but I didn't do one night stands. I turned around and leaned over him, not ready for the lustful look in his eyes. He wanted me and maybe I wanted him too.

"I should finish it." I said and traced his jawline.

"Yeah." He agreed.

Why did he have to be so cute? "Well, I'm afraid I can't. I'm not a one and done kind of guy." I told him honestly.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Then get the fuck off me."

_Damn._ I got up slowly, mindful of my headache. I figured I had outstayed my welcome and we both needed some time to clear the air. "I'm going to head home. I'll see you tomorrow . . . hopefully we can still be friends."

Levi sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'll take you home."

I was surprised by the offer, but it wasn't a good idea. "Alright."

He got up and stretched, then grabbed the bottle and glasses off of the coffee table, carrying them into the kitchen. I said goodbye to Luther and showered him with gentle caresses. After setting the glasses in the sink he met me at the door and put his shoes on as I did the same. He grabbed his keys that were hanging by the door and led the way outside, locking the door behind us before walking to the bike. We both put on a helmet and I got on after he did, grabbing onto the back. He started the motorcycle and opened the garage door before pulling out. I told him my address after he closed it and then he got on the street.

Things had escalated quickly and Levi had spoken more in the last twenty four hours than all the days combined since I first met him. He definitely had a fire to him that I suspected was there even if he wasn't drunk. Seeing the quiet, calm and collected lone writer get upset like that didn't sit well with me. He worked so hard on his stories, that novel I read had been proof enough, not to mention all the hours he spent writing. I only saw a handful of them and knew he spent so much more perfecting his work. Watching him rip up all of that in a matter of minutes, I couldn't stand by even if he had the right to do whatever he wanted with it. I couldn't help feeling my typo comment started it all. That was when his expression had changed, if only slightly.

I wasn't sure how to make it better and decided the least I could do was drink with him, give him something else to focus on instead. I didn't think having him focus on me would lead to what happened on the couch. Teasing me like that, was he just looking for a way to vent his frustrations? Was he hoping for a friends with benefits situation? I couldn't do that and I wouldn't. I was the type to get attached, to want something more down the road. I was pretty level headed even though I lost my temper sometimes. I was fair and honest. I didn't have hidden motives, but I could be jealous and possessive as a lover. I knew how I could get and sleeping around just wasn't going to work. Levi would have to accept that.

We reached my apartment in about twenty minutes and Levi pulled up around the back. I got off the bike and fastened the helmet, pulling my bag further up my shoulder after.

"Thanks for the ride." I told him.

He nodded, glancing at me for the briefest second. "See you."

I gave him a smile before he drove away and then headed up to the fifth floor. The sun had done nothing to help my headache and I went straight to my bathroom once I walked into my apartment. I took some medicine and decided a shower would be good too. Next I changed into my pajamas and took a nap, too tired to cook. I woke up a few hours later and hunted down my phone. I sighed when I realized it was dead and put it on the charger while I made something to eat. It didn't take long for me to get done and I watched a movie while I ate. It was about thirty minutes later when a knock sounded at my door. What the hell? I glanced at the time, wondering who it could be since classes should still be in session.

I got up and went to the door, looking through the peephole. I shook my head when I saw Armin, knowing he was going to give me a hard time about skipping class. At least it wasn't Mikasa, but I could only hope she wouldn't stop by as well. I opened the door and let him inside.

"Hey, Armin." I greeted as he looked me over.

"Are you sick? You didn't answer your phone . . . Mikasa and I were worried." He said and I felt a little guilty.

"I got drunk last night." I told him truthfully. "At Levi's."

Armin sat down on the couch and I joined him, his suspicious blue eyes making me uncomfortable. "You got drunk, seriously? Who is Levi? Wait, he's your project isn't he?"

"I'm an adult, I can get drunk if I want to." I huffed. "Yes, Levi is the guy I've been trying to be friends with. I think we are friends. Probably."

He sighed. "Eren . . . you don't go over to strangers houses and get drunk."

"He's not a stranger!" I insisted. "What, you think he's going to take advantage of me or something? Chill, Armin. He's cool."

"Why do I let you do what you want?" He asked and I smiled, knowing that was the end of it.

"Because you can't tell me no." I supplied cheekily.

He chuckled. "True, but Mikasa can. She called and sent you a million text messages."

I groaned and buried my face in a pillow. "Don't remind me. I already know she's going to flip her shit. Honestly, when will she stop acting like I'm some baby bird that needs protecting?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." He shrugged and then changed the topic back to the lone writer. "So, Levi. What's he like?"

"He's normally laid back, but he can be stubborn as hell." I said. "He's shy too . . . it's cute."

He gave me a curious look. "Sounds like there's more there than you're letting on."

I narrowed my eyes at his tone. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing . . . just that you might have a little crush." He said and I threw my pillow at him.

"Shut up!" I yelled and he laughed.

"You're not denying it." He pointed out, getting on my last nerve.

I didn't respond to his words and changed the subject. "Did you take notes for me?"

"Of course." He said and pulled out his notebook from his backpack.

I copied his notes while the two of us talked some more before he had to get going. My phone was charged by then and I saw first hand how worked up Mikasa was. After arguing with myself, I decided to call her. It was a lot better than having to see her in person. That had been hell and she even went as far as to say she never wanted me to go over to Levi's house again. It wasn't like she could stop me, so I didn't know why she bothered mentioning it in the first place. I could understand where she was coming from, but she really did worry too much. Once the longest call of my life was over, I went back to my room and got out Levi's notebook. He had done a number on it and it would take some time for me to tape up the ripped pages. Regardless, I got to work on it and kept going until it was time for me to go to sleep. I had to return to my classes tomorrow and see how things went with Levi.

I woke up late the next morning and dashed around the apartment to get ready. I just barely made the bus, one of the passengers spotting me before it pulled away. When I got to my english class I was shocked by what I saw. Levi was sitting in his usual seat, but he was wearing a hoodie with it pulled over his face and he wasn't writing. I didn't know what to think and hesitantly took my seat one away from his. Seeing him just sit there instead of writing, it was almost scary. Something was definitely wrong. I was going to ask him about it at the library, but he wasn't there. I ran my hand through my dark brown hair in frustration and concern. This wasn't like him and I felt that his behavior was partially my fault, going over to his house had been a mistake after all. I had to fix this. I didn't know how, but I needed to think of something. I worked on his notebook again after I did my homework, wondering how to help him.

I was hoping to talk to him the next day, but this time he hadn't come to school at all. I couldn't tell if he was taking a break because he needed it or because he was avoiding me. Maybe it was both. I took notes for him just the same and knew nothing would get solved unless I talked to him. The situation was constantly on my mind throughout the day, slowly eating at me. I didn't like letting problems sit, but I didn't have much of a choice. Levi never showed up Friday either and I pondered how many days he planned on missing. I kept working on his notebook during the weekend and was able to finish it late Sunday afternoon. I also made somewhat of a decision and begged Mikasa for a favor, though she had almost refused completely. I put Levi's notebook and the notes from class in a bag along with a message, '_keep your stories safe'_. Then I had Mikasa give me a ride to Levi's so I could drop it off at his front door.

I wanted it to be quick and there weren't that many buses running so I had to ask for a ride. She reluctantly drove me over, but surprisingly didn't complain the whole way there. I dropped off the bag and got back into the car without any problems. I felt a little better about doing something, but what I did wasn't a solution. It was just my way of keeping the lines of communication open during whatever one sided battle Levi was dealing with. Perhaps I didn't help and come Monday he wouldn't want anything to do with me, but I would cross that bridge when I came to it. After I got back to my apartment, I flopped down on the couch. Things had certainly gotten more complicated than I ever expected them to. Though I didn't regret it or anything like that. The only thing left for me to do now was wait. I read a book from my collection before fixing a light dinner, going to bed right after I finished eating. I didn't know what to expect in the morning, but I was ready all the same.

Monday it started to rain and it didn't show any sign of stopping. I sat on the bus on the way to school, my umbrella next to me while I checked on the latest books and the last last one to the series I was waiting for. It helped me keep my mind off of Levi for a little while so I would feel anxious. I paused when I got to english, right outside the door. Then I took a calming breath and went inside. I was relieved at seeing Levi there, but he was closed off in his hoodie again and he wasn't writing. I had mixed feelings about seeing him, but at least he was going to class. We didn't say a word to each other although we never did in english. It was hard to tell if he was going to be at the library and I was in no hurry to get there after lunch. I made my way to the table we always sat and I couldn't say I was surprised when he was nowhere to be seen.

I was tempted to leave, but he wasn't the only reason I came here. I came here to read and discover new books, I couldn't stop doing that just because Levi didn't want to be friends. This wasn't the first time my efforts were in vain and it wouldn't be the last. I had to get over it. I set my bag down and went down the aisles, searching for some titles that caught my attention. The rain only served to dampen my mood and the sound of it outside urged me to go to a section I stayed away from. I didn't like tragedy or angst, but today I was going to dive deep. I went around and stopped in a far corner, spotting some titles that sounded really depressing. I stood there reading the summaries when I heard a faint rustling noise. I glanced around in confusion, thinking I had imagined it until I it happened again. Whatever it was, it was close. A quiet smacking sound zeroed my gaze in front of me and I peeked through the books.

My jaw dropped at the sight before me and I almost let go of the book in my hand. There in the next aisle was Levi, his hand fisted in some guys hair who had his face in his crotch. It wasn't hard to guess what they were doing and I couldn't believe it. I backed away with a scowl on my face, leaving the section as quickly as possible before the image was burned into my memory. _What the fuck? Is he serious?!_ He really wanted head in the library of all places and someone was more than willing to do it? I put the book back on a shelf, not caring if it was in the wrong spot and grabbed my bag. The whole thing just pissed me off. I stormed out of the library and made my way outside. I knew it was none of my business, that I had no right to be upset. It shouldn't matter to me who sucks his dick or anything else like that. He could do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted, it was none of my concern. Yet it still got under my skin more than I would like to admit.

I slammed the door behind me as I exited the building, cursing when I realized I left my umbrella in the library. There was no way I was going back in there while they were doing _that_. Here I was beating myself up, feeling bad that I hurt him, only to find out he was just fine. He was more than fine. It honestly drove me mad. I jogged to the bus stop, not caring about the rain. I wanted to go home and forget I ever saw it. Why was I so upset by it? After all, I was the one who turned him down that morning. The bus pulled up and stopped my thoughts, bringing me out of them so I could get on. I refused to think about it anymore until I had got home, slamming my apartment door closed. I turned him down because I knew how it was going to end . . . with me getting hurt. If there was no commitment then I didn't want it. After what I saw, it seemed like the right decision. He just wanted to get off and some random guy in the library was good enough. It was good that I hadn't got involved, I should be happy I dodged a bullet.

However I wasn't, I wasn't happy at all. I was still so angry and I wasn't dense enough not to know why. It was obvious that I was jealous, perhaps even bitter. I hated the fact that some nobody could have something I couldn't. I was the only one holding myself back, but what was I supposed to do? Put myself out there and see how it went? No, I had done enough of that shit and I wasn't going to do it again. Even if I hated it, I had to let it go. I had to get over it. There was nothing I could do about it anyway, I was out of options. This was exactly why I drew the line at friends. There was nothing between us, I wasn't even sure we were friends, yet I was still affected like this. _He _still affected me like this. I striped out of my wet clothes and took a shower, not caring about the temperature. What was I going to do now? I could distance myself and ignore him, spare myself from all of this and whatever was to come. I could pretend I hadn't seen him, that nothing had changed and I was just the concerned friend.

I scoffed, knowing I couldn't do either of those things. It was my anger talking, that said he was fine when he wasn't. If nothing was wrong then he would be writing. He wouldn't be acting this way. Even if he wasn't my friend, I was attached enough to not want to see him suffer. Why did I have to care so much? I got out of the shower and changed, falling on my bed afterwards. Despite everything I wanted to help him. I wanted to get him back to the way he was before he met me, to be happy and writing again. Then I would walk away. I was doing more harm than good, but I had to take responsibility and fix the damaged I caused.

Why did things have to turn out this way?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four- Levi**

Everything had changed since I decided to stop writing. I was spiraling downward, falling into an endless abyss of nothingness. I was drinking more than anything, missing classes left and right and didn't care about anything anymore. Except Luther. But even he couldn't console me. What was my life? What was my purpose here? Nothing.

I did different things to occupy myself, working out or fucking, but nothing I did helped the emptiness I felt. No matter how drunk I got, I was still miserable. School had become so meaningless to me, but I still went on occasion. Maybe after the semester I would drop out. There really was no point in going anymore.

While I had wanted to better my writing because I was so passionate about it, all that had changed now. I was never going to write again. It was pointless. Everything was. Because even after investing myself so wholly, it also left me feeling hollow.

That feeling only worsened after finding the bag Eren had left on my doorstep. The notebook. All my ideas. The brat had actually taken the time to piece it all back together. For what though? So pointless. He really didn't make any sense.

Half of the time I was hungover at school and sometimes I'd even have a strong drink before going. I did start spending a lot of time at the gym, pouring myself into working out and trying to let all the bottled up anger inside of me go. I didn't understand what had happened to me… but I couldn't collect myself no matter what I did, so I only got worse.

Even time had become pointless and I didn't keep up with it, which is one of the reasons I missed school so often. I was sleeping a lot more than I ever usually did, probably from all the alcohol I'd been drinking and I hadn't tasted coffee in days… weeks even.

I didn't even know who I was anymore.

Today was another school day. I'd been up since after midnight, drinking and was so intoxicated I didn't think better of it when I saw it was time for school and decided to go. I'd missed the day before so I really needed to go. Or did I? Maybe not, but I still decided to go.

Still wearing my clothes from the day before, with no shower and not a single damn to give, I went and got on my motorcycle and drove myself to school. Maybe I should have died on the ride, but I made it in one piece and even though I was late, I sat on my bike and took the time to smoke a cigarette before going inside.

English class. It used to be important. When had it become nothing right along with everything else? It didn't matter. I would go just for the hell of it. Flicking my cigarette on the ground, I made my way inside and to class which had already begun. Though I had stumbled a bit down the hallway, I managed to walk to my seat in the class without issue. My head was spinning though and as I sat down I realized it wasn't a good idea to show up.

How many days had it been since I'd even eaten anything? I pulled my hood over my head and found it impossible to concentrate on the lesson currently being taught. I felt like death, my whole body trembling in rebellion. I was killing myself… but I couldn't bring myself to care. There was only one thing in my life that held any importance… and I wasn't fit to care for him anymore.

After class ended everyone started leaving but I sat there, having no energy to move. I hadn't noticed Eren had stayed after everyone else was gone until he was suddenly standing over me. I blinked up at him, he was just who I wanted to see.

"You're out of it." He said with a frown, teal-green eyes studying my face.

He was probably right. I closed my eyes and sighed, unable to find any other way, so I said, "Luther. I need you to take him."

"W-what? Why?" He asked in surprise and confusion. "Is he hurt? . . . Are you hurt?"

"He's alright… I think." But he wouldn't be if somebody else didn't start caring for him.

Eren looked at me for a moment before letting out a long breath. "I'm taking you home."

I frowned and got up from my seat slowly, grabbing my bag. "I can take myself, thank you."

"Oh, I wasn't asking." He told me and swiped my bag, throwing it over his shoulder. "Come on, let's go."

"Give me my damn bag." I seethed, reaching to grab it but he moved so that I couldn't. I took a step towards him, tripping over my foot and having to catch myself on the table to keep from falling over. I glared at nothing, hating everything and not wanting to deal with him. "Fine, keep the bag. I don't care."

"Levi. I'm taking you home." He said again, this time in a gentler tone.

Grimacing at the sudden wave of dizziness that came over me, I took a breath to get it together and pushed past him. I didn't need him looking down on me and thinking he knew what was best for me. He didn't know anything. But then… neither did I.

Eventually I made it outside and started walking towards my bike. I scoffed when I realized my keys were in my bag and turned to glare at Eren who'd been following me. "Actually, you can't have my bag. I need it."

"If I give it to you, will you let me take you home?" He asked, more than ready to keep the bag away from me for as long as he had to.

I scowled but knew I had to agree if I wanted my keys. "Fine, whatever. Just give it." I said, reaching for the bag.

He moved it out of my grasp. "I'm driving."

"Give me the bag you damn brat." I growled, fist clenching as the sudden urge to punch him came over me.

"Fine." He relented and finally handed it over. " . . . . But your keys aren't in there."

"You're really pissing me off." I spat and started searching my bag for the keys. They weren't there. I looked back to him coldly. "Give me the keys."

Eren walked to my motorcycle and put on one of the helmets. "Don't worry, I'll obey the speed limits."

Infuriating. "Have you ever even driven a motorcycle?" I asked, deciding not to fight anymore, mainly because I was barely hanging onto consciousness. I grabbed the other helmet and got on the bike.

"Yes. And a car and a truck too." He said as he got on in front of me, pulling out my keys. "I just don't have a license. Better hope we don't get pulled over."

"Just shut the hell up and get me home."

Along the ride, I barely managed to stay on the bike but somehow, we made it to my place without incident. I didn't get off until Eren did and as soon as I stood, nausea worked its way up from my stomach. I started sweating, a cold sweat which wasn't a good sign. I knelt down right where I stood, breathing shakily. I didn't know if I was going to get sick or pass out, but whatever was going to happen couldn't be good. Eren was staring at me, only making me angry on top of everything else I was feeling.

"Unlock the door… get Luther and leave." I told him, trying to keep my voice steady but it cracked anyway.

"You're crazy if you think I'm leaving you like this." He said and took off his helmet, quick to take off mine after. "Let's get you inside." He said, taking hold of my arm to put it over his shoulder.

It didn't matter how much I complained, he wouldn't listen. He helped me inside and I only started to feel worse. I had to sleep it off. I was cold. Sweating. I just needed to go to sleep. After that, everything got too blurry for me to know what was going on and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed.

Feeling hot, I sat up in bed and a damp cloth fell from my forehead onto my lap. I moved it to the bedside table and got out of bed, deciding to ignore the fact that my clothes had been changed because I didn't even want to know how that had happened. After going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth to rid my mouth of the bitter taste it had, I left my room and walked down the hall, the scent of food pulling me towards the kitchen.

I came by Luther at his food bowl, eating as if he hadn't had a meal in days. Guilt washed over me and I frowned, kneeling down to pet him, offering a silent apology that I knew would never make up for him being mistreated. Because he didn't deserve it. He deserved only the best. And that was something I could no longer offer him.

Eren was at the stove cooking and I noticed he'd cleaned the house too. I'd let everything go to waste, it wasn't like me really… but I just couldn't bring myself to care anymore. Why did I ever care to begin with? I sighed and trudged to the refrigerator, opening it for a bottle of water since I was feeling dehydrated. I was so thirsty, still feeling sick and I couldn't deal with Eren. I never asked for his help—I didn't want it. So, I went into the living room and laid down on the couch, draining the bottle of water in a matter of seconds.

Though I wanted a cigarette, I couldn't even stomach one so I just laid on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. So miserable. So useless. I should have never woken up. I don't know how long it was that I laid there before Eren came over to me, setting a plate on the coffee table. I looked at it before looking at him, so hungry that I knew I had to eat it even if I really didn't want to. Who the hell was he anyway, coming into my kitchen and cooking my food. Cleaning my house. Changing my fucking clothes. I rolled my eyes as all those thoughts bombarded me at once and sat up, taking the plate with still trembling hands.

"When you get done, I've got some medicine for you to take." He said and took out his phone to check the time. "I'll have to go by my place for some clothes . . ."

My brows furrowed at those words and I lowered the fork I'd been raising towards my mouth. "Who the fuck are you, my mother? I don't want you here. I want you to take Luther and leave me."

"So I'm just supposed to let you push your responsibility on me? I don't think so." He huffed. "You're a grown man and I'm done with being nice and watching you waste away. I'm here whether you like it or not, and I'll be here for as long as I have to. You'll hate me by the time this is all over, but at least you'll be functioning and moving on with your life."

"If you don't want to take Luther, fine. But I don't need a fucking babysitter. I'll find somebody else to take care of him." I grumbled and went back to eating.

Eren sighed. "What you need is a friend and I'm too fond of Luther to let you give him away. You're his family."

"I was trying to give him to you." I said, mouth full. I swallowed before adding, "You're too fond of him to take him? What kind of shit is that?"

He surprised me by smiling. "The kind of shit you're going to have to put up with. This house is huge and I couldn't find the guest rooms. Mind telling me where it is?"

"Plundering through my house?" I scowled. "Just who the hell do you think you are?" I couldn't believe him and I was pissed that the food he cooked was so good, so I eagerly kept eating.

"A pushy and stubborn guy who won't take no for an answer." He said cheekily. "But you already knew that."

Ignoring him, I continued to eat until I finished everything and by then I was miserable. I laid back on the couch, resting my eyes until Eren grabbed my hand and put some pills on my palm. I opened my eyes to glare at him but took the pills and the bottle of water he offered me. I didn't understand why he was here. Why he was bothering with me. He left quietly and I laid back down on the couch, dozing off until he was leaning over me, shaking me awake.

"Damn, you're still here? What is it?" I swatted him away and rolled onto my side.

He chuckled and started pulling my arm. "Don't be difficult, go sleep in your bed."

"Don't tell me what to do in my own damn house." I snapped and snatched my arm away from him. "Get lost."

"No." He stated firmly. "I'm not listening to someone that can't even take care of themselves. Move it, I bet your bed is comfier." He coaxed and shook my shoulder, pausing to feel my forehead with his other hand. "You're burning up again."

He was impossible. But his cool hand did feel good on my forehead and I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling. I could just fall asleep right here.

"Levi." He called softy. "Come to bed."

I opened one eye to look at him, not sure if I liked that tone or not. "Why won't you… just leave me alone…"

His expression changed, a million thoughts running through his head. "I'll tell you some other time. Now up you go, the faster you move the faster you can go back to sleep."

Realizing he wasn't going to give up, I groaned and got to my feet. I didn't know what he planned to do, but I supposed I really didn't care no matter what it was. Eren let me go without another word and I went to my room, getting straight into bed. It took me little to no time to fall asleep.

When I woke up the following morning, I was so cold. It was freezing. Fever maybe. I noticed a note on the bedside table and was curious enough to reach my arm out into the cold to grab it. Eren had gone to school and said he'd be back. Left his number in case I needed him and had apparently cooked before he left, leaving the food in the refrigerator. I laid the note back down on the table and curled up in the covers, knowing I had a fever and should take something but feeling so cold I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed.

Feeling disoriented, I could only assume that I had fallen asleep again when Eren suddenly appeared in my room. I was shaking so much that I couldn't concentrate, the fever making me delirious. For all I knew, he wasn't really there at all. He walked over to me, carrying over a thick blanket. He laid it over me and then brought his hand to my forehead.

"Shit." He cursed. "I can't get your fever to go down."

He took a wet cloth and placed it on my forehead, but it didn't seem to be helping. I heard him moving around for a while and wondered if this was real, if his touch and voice had truly been there. I couldn't stop shaking and I pushed the uncomfortable cloth off of me. Eren was back soon and pulled the covers down, making it worse.

"I'm taking you to the bathroom." He told me, hands grabbing my trembling form. "You'll have to help me a little, can you do that?"

Help him? I couldn't even speak. My jaw locked as the cold threatened to crush me, body still shivering. I felt so bad that it couldn't even be real. I'd never felt this way before. I was tugged into a sitting position and my world spun. Realizing I wasn't going to be any help, Eren put my arm around his neck and did his best to lift me out of the bed.

"Gah! Why are you so heavy?!" He breathed and carried me to the bathroom one step at a time. He was out of breath once he set me on the toilet seat, arms holding my shoulders so I wouldn't fall over. "Okay . . . okay. Phase two."

His hands started peeling off my clothes and I thought for sure none of this was really happening. There was no way Eren was stripping me naked for whatever reason. After everything was off, he moved me to the tub and set me in lukewarm water. Surprisingly, it didn't feel bad. I sunk into the water with a content sigh, closing my eyes. I could sleep right here. And I almost had fallen asleep. I starting to feel much warmer, just sleepy, but then a wet cloth was on my face. I lifted my hands, grabbing Eren's and pulling it away from me.

"You're gonna suffocate me." I told him, still with my eyes closed. Why did it feel so good to just see nothing?

"I'm wiping the sweat off you face." He explained and brought the cloth back. "Hush and rest a bit. You're going to be alright."

Relenting, I lazed in the tub, letting him have his way. The more time that passed, the better I felt. Eren left me after some time, and I enjoyed the quiet. So peaceful. I just wanted to sleep but he was back before that could happen. Feeling more alert now, I knew that I was not imagining anything. He had some of my clothes in his hands, which he laid on the sink before walking closer to the tub. I was going to kick his ass for this later.

"I'm fine now. So leave me." I said, averting my eyes and sitting up. I was going to look like a prune if I didn't get out now.

"R-right. I'll uh, leave you to it." He said quickly and left the bathroom once again.

Taking my time, I got out of the tub after pulling the plug and dried off slowly. The fever had definitely lessened and I didn't understand why I had gotten a fever anyway. It had happened, no matter what the reason, so there was no sense in thinking about it. Damn brat probably thought I owed him something now and I still couldn't figure out who the hell he thought he was. Whether he was trying to help or not, that didn't give him the right to strip me when I was so out of it. Hell, he didn't have a right to strip me period.

I dressed in the clothes he'd brought me and then went into my room. I was so thirsty and certain I still had a slight touch of the fever. After I grabbed the thick blanket off of my bed, I wrapped it around myself and then left my room. I went to the kitchen, wanting water and something to help keep the fever down. No way in hell was I letting Eren strip me again.

Once I took some medicine, I walked into the living room to find Eren on the couch with Luther. Resolving myself, I went over and sat on my usual end. "Let's get something straight, Eren." I said, looking at him as he stared down at Luther looking slightly nervous. "I'm going to let this go… but if you even think about trying some shit like that again, I will make you regret it."

"It's not like I had a choice." He said in his defense, but didn't argue.

"Next time, just let me die." I muttered and finally felt up to having a smoke so I grabbed the pack out of the drawer.

"How are you feeling?" Eren asked and then gasped when he saw the pack. "What the—really Levi? You're not even fully recovered yet and you're going to smoke?"

"What?" I snarled. "I need a damn cigarette because you have thoroughly pissed me off."

He shook his head and looked back down at Luther, petting him. "If you get worse, don't go blaming me."

I lit a cigarette, rolling my eyes. As if I would blame him. I didn't even want him here. Yet… somehow, somewhere deep inside of me, I was glad that he was. He was a nice guy, for no reason and there was no sense in me being rude. I did like him, so maybe that's why he made me so angry—so defensive.

"I assume you found yourself a room?"

"Yeah." He said, gazing back up at me. "The one at the far end of the hall on the second floor."

"I see." I hummed and stared at the smoke flowing from the lit end of my cigarette. "So then, when are you leaving?"

Eren raised a brow at that. "Depends. When are you going to get your life together?"

"I don't know what you mean." I said quietly, knowing full well exactly what he meant. "I'm fine."

He didn't call out the lie, but it was obvious he didn't believe me. "I guess we're going to be roommates for awhile, Luther."

I frowned, deciding to smoke my cigarette rather than say anything about that. Didn't he have a life? I couldn't understand why he would be so concerned about mine. What was I going to do though, with him hanging around all the time? It was so… like him. Really though, it didn't bother me. If he wanted to hang around then fine. It wasn't going to change anything. He wasn't going to change my mind about how I wanted to live my life now. Even if it wasn't the right way to be living.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five- Eren**

The plan wasn't to practically move in with Levi, it just happened that way. I still wasn't sure what exactly made him give up on everything, but I was going to fix the damage I caused. I didn't tell Mikasa that I was staying with Levi. I wanted to live for a long time so I kept her in the dark about it. Armin would have broken under the pressure of keeping it from her, so I didn't tell him either. No one suspected a thing and I was going to keep it that way. It was a constant battle everyday, but I was able to get Levi to school and slow down his new drinking habit. The drinking was the easy part since I threatened to get drunk every time he did. Most of the time it worked, but sometimes he didn't care and would drink anyway. He took us both to class on his motorcycle and then back to his house, stopping by my place every now and again so I could pick up some things. We didn't go to the library anymore.

It wasn't really surprising but, my feelings about Levi were growing more complicated. It had started when he had gotten that fever. I had changed his clothes that first day, but I hadn't dared to _look_. Putting him in the bathtub was another matter and I discovered the reason he was so damn heavy was because of all that muscle. Who knew he had been hiding that under his clothes? Not to mention his other . . . anatomy. He was sexy as hell, I could admit it. However, that wasn't helping my case. I had a feeling this was another one of my bad ideas and it was going to bite me in the ass. Regardless, there was no turning back now. I would see this through to the end. I cared about Levi . . . and I couldn't let him wither away until nothing was left.

He still wasn't writing. He wouldn't so much as go near his work room and I wasn't sure how to bring it up. Sure I could nag him about eating properly and taking care of himself, but writing was different. It was something he did because he wanted to not because it kept him alive. Then again, maybe it did. Perhaps writing was his reason for living, it's what gave him purpose. How was I going to persuade him to become the lone writer again? Until I found the answer to that, until I accomplished that, I would have to stay by his side. It might have been crazy and maybe I was a fool for doing this. Most people would walk away and wouldn't go so far for a self proclaimed responsibility. However I was different, I had always been different. I wasn't the type to stand by and watch. I was a man of action.

It was Friday afternoon when Levi left to get some groceries, taking his car instead of his motorcycle. I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard Luther meowing outside my temporary bedroom door. I put on my robe and opened the door, looking down at the black cat.

"What's up?" I asked and he started padding down the hallway, looking back at me as if he wanted me to follow. I smiled and trailed behind him all the way to the kitchen. He purposely pawed at his empty food bowl and tossed me an expectant look. "Oh, I see how it is."

I giggled when he started rubbing up against me as if I needed more persuasion. I really did love him. I opened a can of cat food and picked up his bowl, filling it just like he wanted. I changed his water while he ate and then checked his cat pan, glad to find it empty. I was about to go back up and get dressed when I heard him meow again. This time he coaxed me into the living room and pawed at his toys. I shook my head, wondering where this cat learned to be so bossy. He started rolling around on the floor, trying to be cute and I knew I didn't stand a chance.

"Alright, you win." I said fondly and kneeled down to play with him. I amused him for a good twenty minutes before there was knocking at the front door. Luther and I looked at each other. "Were you expecting visitors?"

The knocking sounded again and I got up, making my way to the door. I looked through the peephole, not recognizing who it was. Though I guess there was no reason why I should, I didn't actually live here. I opened the door just enough so we could see each other, but was careful so I didn't let Luther out.

"Can I help you?" I asked the young red headed man.

His face fell at the sight of me and he shook his head, taking a step back. "N-no sorry." He said, sounding anxious. "I made a mistake." He whispered then before running off.

"Okay?" I said to myself. "Must have had the wrong house."

I closed the door and stood there for a moment, finding that whole interaction just plain weird. I shook it off though and picked up Luther when he came back over to me. He started purring as I pet him for a bit and the next thing I knew, the garage door was opening. I heard rustling bags and Levi moving into the kitchen to start putting things away. I walked over with Luther still in my arms and eyed the food he bought.

"Hey." I greeted and wondered if he planned on cooking tonight.

He glanced over at me as he pulled item after item out of the bags. "Hey. How's Luther?" He asked and then looked back to what he was doing.

"Demanding." I said and he meowed in my arms. "What? Don't sass me, you are."

"That's good then." He hummed. "Keep him busy while I get to work. This house is disgusting."

I looked around, not really seeing what he was talking about, but by now I knew better than to get in the way of his cleaning sprees. "Alright."

I took Luther up to my room and got dressed while Levi started cooking. Luther and I rolled around on the bed as the sounds of Levi turning the house upside down came from downstairs. I had never met anyone who cleaned like he did, but I had to admit he was very efficient. Once everything went quiet, I opened the door and let Luther run free. I could smell the lysol and febreeze from up here. The house was practically sparkling and I found Levi back in the kitchen, sipping on some coffee as he watched the stove.

"Better?" I asked, a knowing smile on my face.

"I'm satisfied… for now." He said, eyes still on the stove. After a moment though he turned around to face me. "Dinner won't be ready for about another twenty minutes."

"Okay. Should I put a movie on?" I asked.

"Yeah." He agreed, tone soft.

I went into the living room and picked something before putting it in the dvd player. Then I went to the couch and rearranged the pillows to one side, going as far as to fluff them until I was satisfied. I let the previews play and went to use the restroom only to come back and find Levi sitting in the spot I prepared. I was tempted to say something, but I had placed them on his side of the couch so it was partially my fault. He looked comfy sitting there with his coffee and I didn't have the heart to ask him to move. I grabbed the remote and got on the couch, deciding to use his leg as a pillow instead.

I pressed play when it got to the menu screen, a cheeky smile on my face as I mentally dared him to say something. He didn't say a word though and we silently watched the movie. I had to move when Levi needed to get up to check on dinner and I hit pause, grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch as I waited for him to come back. He called me from the kitchen to let me know it was ready and I groaned, knowing he was going to make me eat at the table. I reluctantly shrugged the blanket off and went in there to eat. We talked while we ate and I decided to tell him about the strange encounter I had just before he got home. I figured he had the right to know, it was his house and all.

"Some guy came here earlier." I told him after drinking some of my sprite. "He was harmless enough and probably got the wrong house."

Levi dropped his fork and looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Who?"

I raised an eyebrow at his behavior, but answered anyway. "I don't know who he was and he didn't mention his name. He was just some red headed guy, a little shorter than me. I think his eyes were black?"

"That bitch." Levi snarled and stood so suddenly his chair fell back behind him.

I stared at him in surprise as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and then stormed out of the kitchen, down the hallway. Not a minute later he was yelling from his bedroom but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I sat still, not knowing what to think until I heard his bedroom door slam and then the sound of him walking down the hall. He came back to the table, picked his chair up and then sat down, resuming with his food as if nothing had happened.

"So . . . . I take it you know him?" I asked hesitantly. An ex boyfriend maybe? Or . . . was he just a quick fuck like that guy in the library?

"Tsk. Bastard had no right coming here." He grumbled, glaring at his food instead of eating it.

It really wasn't my business, but I didn't want him grumpy for the rest of the night. "Am I right in assuming that if I see him again I get to slam the door in his face?"

He relaxed at that and to my surprise, started laughing. "Oh you won't see him again." He told me, sounding completely certain.

_Scary._ "Good to know." I said and started eating again.

Levi finished quickly and started cleaning up. I could tell he was frustrated and what's more, his phone was going off every couple of minutes in his pocket but he never checked it. He started washing the dishes and I carried my plate over as soon as I was done, helping him finish up even if he didn't look happy about it. When he finished we went back to the couch to watch the movie and I rested my head on his leg once more. His phone kept going off though, ruining the movie and giving me a headache. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and sat up, digging it out of his pocket.

"Stop fucking calling, take a hint damn it!" I yelled into the phone before hanging up. "There. Now we'll hopefully have some peace and quiet."

"He can be relentless when he wants to apologize… so you should just cut the phone off." Levi sighed.

I scowled and did as he suggested. "Ridiculous." I huffed and then laid back down, tugging the blanket over my shoulder and putting my head back on his leg.

"Sorry. Maybe I should have answered."

"Would it have mattered?" I asked honestly. "It's been handled now so don't worry about it." I certainly wasn't going to.

"Alright." He said quietly and went back to watching the movie.

I looked up at him and smiled before turning back to the movie as well. It ran for about forty more minutes, but I wasn't the least bit tired. I wanted to watch another one, but wasn't sure if Levi wanted to go to sleep.

"You want to call it a night?" I asked, gazing up at him.

"I'm not tired." He said, gazing down at me, a soft look in his eyes.

It did funny things to my heart. "Want to watch another movie then? Or we can play cards or something." I said, not minding if he would prefer that instead.

"I'm good with watching another movie."

"Okay." I grinned and got up to pick another one. Since I was already wide awake, I went with a scary one this time. I turned back around to find Levi stretched out on the couch. "You're taking up most of the couch."

"So?" He cocked a brow, not seeming to care one bit.

I sighed and walked over, grabbing the blanket. "Well move over a little and share." Or at least let me be the big spoon.

"Aw. Are you scared to be close to me? And after already seeing me naked… damn." He definitely wasn't moving.

"I'm not scared." I insisted as my mind went, _don't do it_. "Just watch the movie." I said and laid down in front of him, throwing the blanket over us.

Levi pressed play on the remote and the movie started. He was quiet, seeming to be into it. Maybe he liked scary movies. I hadn't seen this one before, but I was hoping for ghosts. It was warm laying there with him and I told myself to concentrate on the movie rather than the body behind me. This wasn't a good idea . . . I could feel it, but I was still doing it anyway for some unknown reason. Why did I do this to myself?

The movie was starting to get good and already got me with a few jumpscares, but it wasn't even halfway over yet. I was having fun and we theorized what was going to happen next, though I suspected he already knew since this was his movie. The music went quiet and creepy and I knew something was about to happen. I was watching the screen carefully, not wanting to miss a thing. If something so much as twitched I was going to catch it.

The build up kept going and going until the woman screamed when someone grabbed her, but it ended up being her sister. I huffed in frustration and annoyance. I really hated it when that happened. I was about to tell Levi as much when suddenly a creepy ass doll jumped on screen and I yelped, turning around and clinging to Levi. I didn't do dolls, anything but those scary ass things.

"T-tell me when it's over." I stuttered as I heard chase music with the two women screaming.

"It's just a doll." Levi chuckled, finding my reaction amusing.

I shook my head. "No. Never. Keep them as far away from me as possible." A crackly voice sounded from the tv and I just knew it belonged to that thing. "Ugh, now it's talking!"

"Shh." He hushed me and put his hand on my head. "It's about to go down."

"I'm not watching it!" I whisper yelled, closing my eyes tightly.

"Yeah, you shouldn't." He told me quietly and pulled my head towards his chest.

I could still hear what was going on and tightened my hold on him. Maybe not watching it was only making it worse, now it was up to my imagination to picture what was happening. I could hear the doll laughing as it no doubt killed off a lot of the main characters. Why couldn't it have been a demon?

Everything went deathly quiet and I thought it was over but when I went to move my head, Levi pushed it back against his chest. "No." He huffed quietly.

"It's not done going down?" I whispered, glancing up at him. Just how crazy was this doll?

Before he could respond a loud cry suddenly sounded from the tv, making me jump. Levi laughed and ran his fingers through my hair before saying, "That was it."

"You suck." I pouted. It was embarrassing, but I couldn't help it. Dolls were the worst.

"Hey, I was trying to help." He told me, hand still resting on my head.

I should have moved, but it was oddly comfortable. "No more doll movies. Let's watch a different one, preferably with ghosts."

"You're the one that chose the movie." He reminded. "And sorry but I don't have any ghost movies."

"Then you need to get some." I said, feeling put out. "I didn't know what I was getting into and the summary on the back didn't warn me."

He sighed and moved down a bit as if to get more comfortable. "There is this one movie… with a lot of dolls. Could be interesting."

"Oh, shut up!" I said, having been caught by the first part. Getting my hopes up like that, he was so full of it. "I'll remember this when I find out what you're afraid of."

"It's funny that you'd assume I'm afraid of anything." He snorted.

I didn't believe that for a second. "Everyone is afraid of something."

"If you say so." He shrugged and laid his arm over my head, making it hard for me to breathe and all I could smell was him.

"Hey." I said and tapped his back repeatedly. "You're suffocating me." _And making me think of things I shouldn't._

"You know… you wouldn't be able to talk so well if you were suffocating." He pointed out, seeming to have no intention of moving.

Wise guy. "Well . . . I can't see." I tried instead.

"So?"

I gave up, not having the energy to deal with him. In all honesty, I liked being this close. I was a cuddler by nature and didn't get a lot of chances to indulge. If he was fine with it then I wanted to. However, a part of me thought I was being careless. If anything, I was getting more attached to Levi and that wasn't part of the plan. I hadn't thought this through like I thought I did. I wasn't prepared for this to happen. I liked Levi, I was comfortable around him. He seemed to be getting better even if he wasn't writing yet, but I was setting myself up. The next thing I knew I was going to end up like that red headed guy from before. I was going to end up falling hard and fast for Levi, my attraction towards him proof enough. I knew I had to put a stop to it. I knew I couldn't let myself get caught up. I knew I had to walk away, but . . . I didn't want to.

I held onto Levi tighter, hating that I liked him so much. I was so stupid. It only took a moment for me to fall asleep even though I hadn't been tired. I was persuaded by Levi's warmth and sleep snuck up on me. I woke up some time the next morning in the same position, but this time I was well aware of how I ended up this way. Levi was sleeping soundly and I let myself lay there for awhile, enjoying it. My eyes closed and I snuggled against him. I had almost fallen back asleep when I felt fingers in my hair, playing with my brown strands.

A smile found my lips. "Good morning."

"Good morning." He said, voice tinged with sleep. His fingers moved more firmly through my hair and he yawned. "So soft."

"It's my shampoo." I said and didn't dare move, fearing he would stop. "What do you want to do today? Laze around the house?"

"Like this." He hummed, fingers moving so slowly.

I sighed softly at the attention. "Sounds good to me."

Levi played with my hair for a while, seeming to enjoy it as much as I did. It felt so good I never could have moved and fallen asleep once more, but then he moved slightly and his hand left my hair and went to my back instead. I would be lying if I said I didn't like it and I ended up wiggling a little closer. He ran his fingers up and down my back ever so slowly and so soft that it almost tickled. Before long his hand snuck its way under my shirt and he went on. My heart started beating faster and I wondered if this was going to end the same way it did last time. I let his hand wander for a moment before I moved to look up at him, holding his blue-grey gaze.

"Levi." I said simply, but his hand didn't falter.

"What is it?" He asked, voice soft just like his eyes.

He was killing me with his cuteness. "We can't."

"Why not?" He asked then, but appeared unbothered by my words and his hand never stopped.

I tried not to get distracted. "You know why . . . we aren't dating."

"Eren… you're living in my house." He mumbled.

I blanched at that. "I-I . . . well . . . your intentions aren't the same." I wanted a relationship, but I couldn't say the same for him.

"You're overreacting." Levi sighed.

"You don't know what you're getting into. You think I'm bad now?" I asked. "Wait until after we sleep together."

"You couldn't possibly get any worse."

I laughed at his words, he had no idea. "Trust me, Levi. You haven't seen anything yet."

"You're not going to scare me." He stated plainly, blinking at me with his usual impassive expression.

I thought it over, unsure if I should take this chance. _I shouldn't_. "Alright."

"Alright?"

I nodded and rolled over on top of him. "Let's do it." Since I was going through with this, I was going to make it good for him.

"The hell? Don't just get on top of me like that." He scoffed and bucked me off of him, making me fall on the floor.

"Ow! What was that for?" I grumbled and glared at him. "I thought you wanted to do it."

He stared down at me and smiled. "I do… but you got a little happy there."

I didn't know what he meant by that, but didn't ask. "Are we moving this to a bedroom then?" I asked and stood up.

"Good idea." He agreed and got up off the couch. "My room."

I let him lead the way and closed the door behind us, turning around to face him afterwards. "So, how do you want it?" I asked and took off my shirt. I had a feeling he was full of surprises.

His left brow arched and he thought about it while his eyes roamed over me. "Getting on your knees would be a good start."

_Oh, so he wants a blowjob first?_ I thought about the guy in the library and my jaw tensed. "You got it." I would make him forget all about that nobody.

I closed the distance between us and kneeled down on the floor, hands going to his fly. I unzipped his pants and pulled them down to his ankles, zeroing in on his crotch. I hadn't given head in awhile, but that didn't mean I lost my touch. I pressed my nose right up against his dick and took hold of his waist. He smelled amazing and I couldn't wait to have a taste. I mouthed at him through the fabric of his briefs and teased him with gentle nips and bites. Once he started to harden, I began using my tongue to trace the outline of his member. I looked up to find him watching me closely, a thrill going down my spine. This was going to be better than I thought it would. I mouthed at his balls until his erection was sticking above his waist band, my hands eagerly pulling down the only remaining barrier.

Then I trailed my finger tips down his v-line and back up again, taking it all in. He would be a challenge for sure. I kissed the tip of his cock and let it rub against my lips, flickering my eyes back up at him. One hand rested on his hip as the other came down to cup his sack. I held his gaze as I opened my mouth and started to take him in, keeping my tongue still as I tasted him. I didn't go too far yet and eased him into me. I let him get used to the feeling before I suddenly squeezed his balls, pulling a quiet hum from his throat as his hand went to grab my hair. I didn't let up the pressure and started to massage them, shallowly bobbing my head at a leisurely pace. After a few moments I pulled off and licked until his whole dick was nice and wet. Next I turned my attention back to the head and sucked at the tip, moving my tongue around it.

The grip in my hair got a little tighter and I went down on him again. Going further than before, I swirled my tongue around as I lazily sucked. I let go of his balls and grabbed the base of his member instead, making sure the hold was firm. My head began bobbing again and I took a deep breath through my nose before I took him in even deeper. Levi groaned then and his other hand moved to my hair as well. He must have gotten impatient because he started thrusting his hips. I didn't really mind and removed my hand so he could move easier, deciding to place it on his waist as well. I sucked harder and moved my tongue back and forth for more friction. I slacked my jaw even further and I could take in more of his cock, switching from sucking to swallowing. The taste of his pre-cum filled my mouth and I was ready to make him come.

Levi suddenly pulled me off of him by my hair roughly and I looked up at him, the heated look in his eyes making me want to finish what I started. "That's enough." He breathed, voice deep and velvety.

"Can't take anymore?" I smirked and squeezed his hips.

"I was enjoying it. But I don't want to come in your mouth."

I stood and tugged at his shirt, just now noticing my own problem. "Then let's move on."

Levi raised his arms, letting me pull his shirt off before meeting my gaze. "Strip then."

I took one longing look at his body before concentrating on my pants. After I unbuttoned my fly, I pulled down the zipper and slowly slid down my pants and underwear, giving him a little show. Then I passed him and got on the bed first, laying on my side.

"Come here."

Levi crawled on the bed and shoved me onto my back, pinning my arms down beside my head as he moved in between my legs. "Are you that eager for it?" He asked, his face moving closer to mine.

_Feisty_. "Are you?" I shot back, the anticipation of our first kiss getting to me. "How long do you plan to play with me before you let me take you?"

Brows raising, Levi stared at me for a moment before laughing loudly. "You got jokes?"

"I'm completely serious." I told him, a little offended he thought I was kidding. Of course I was serious.

Levi sighed and lowered his head, lips brushing across my neck slowly. "Eren," He breathed softly before kissing my neck a few times. "I'm a top."

I was quiet for a few seconds, processing his words. "H-huh?"

"You heard me." He said, breath hot on my neck. He leaned up then to gaze down at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. "It's gonna be me who's taking you."

_What?!_

"What?! But you-I thought . . ." No way, this couldn't be happening. Sure Levi was straightforward and wild, but he was also quiet and shy. I thought it was cute. Had I really read him wrong? Had I mistaken his reserved personality for shyness? "Levi . . . I'm a top."

"That's cute. You really believe that?" He hummed, smirking down at me.

This was what I got for assuming things. "I don't believe it, I know it. I've never bottomed, it just doesn't work for me."

"No, trust me. You're definitely a bottom." He said, grinding his hips and rubbing his erection against mine. "I'll show you."

I moaned at the feeling, unable to grasp what was going on. "No, you don't understand. It won't go well."

I didn't bottom for two reasons. One being that most of the other tops I came across were too arrogant and I wanted to punch their lights out. The other reason being that I simply wasn't compatible with them, I didn't get excited or aroused. However, when I thought about it, Levi didn't fit either one of those reasons. This had never happened to me before.

"You don't need to worry. I'll take care of you." Levi said, gazing down at me softly, his words sincere.

"I-I . . ." Would it be possible? Could he make me want to submit? Looking into his blue-grey eyes, I decided that I at least wanted to try. "Okay."

His face came impossibly close to mine and I sucked in a gasp when his tongue ran across my bottom lip. Levi didn't waste the opportunity of my lips parting, quickly taking advantage and slipping his tongue into my mouth. He was in no rush, tongue slow and almost lazy in the way it moved against mine. He grinded down on me again just as he pulled his tongue back and kissed me softly. It was so different, letting someone else take the lead and knowing what was to come. I sighed at the slow pleasure he was giving me, thrusting my hips up against his. I was a little nervous, but I wasn't scared. I was actually curious and excited to see how this would go. What would it feel like to have Levi inside of me? The thought made me turn my head, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

Releasing my right arm, Levi moved his hand to my face and forced me to look at him. "Don't shy away from me now."

He captured my lips once more, kissing me tenderly before he took hold of my arm again. He set a slow and steady rhythm with his hips that gave me a calm pleasure. I moaned every now and then and he took every chance to slide his tongue in to caress my own. I tilted my head as I kissed back, silently asking for more. He pressed his mouth firmly against mine and started to devour me. I mewled when he sucked my tongue, the heat between us increasing as it got more intense. His hands went to my hair as he deepened it further and I held onto his sides. My head was feeling light and I was panting underneath him. He kept it hot and heavy for a while before suddenly slowing it down again, still maintaining that constant pressure with our members.

I shivered when he began pulling and nipping at my lips with his teeth, quickly soothing his bites with gentle licks. He angled my head every time he changed direction, sweetly abusing my mouth until he was satisfied. Then he switched to soft pecks and chaste kisses. I just knew my lips would be red and probably swollen, but I didn't care. It felt too good to stop and I had never wanted to keep kissing someone so badly. I couldn't decide which kisses I prefered, but it didn't matter since Levi was giving me all of them. I wasn't sure how much time passed as he sped up again and made it messy before taking it back down. I wasn't sure how I was managing to breathe, but it seemed never ending. It was building and building and my head was floating. I had to clench his hips to make him stop moving, suddenly on the verge of coming. I pulled away and broke our constant kissing, my lips numb and tingly.

"No . . . no more." I breathed. I enjoyed it a lot, but I couldn't take anymore.

"Why?" Levi asked, as breathless as I was but instead of waiting for me to respond, he moved his lips to my neck.

I wasn't sure if he was playing dumb or he really didn't know. "I need . . . a break."

Levi hummed at my explanation, too busy sucking on my neck to form any words. He was relentless, kissing so softly and then biting the same place before sucking on it. I hadn't been marked like this by a lover before, but as I tilted my head to give him more access it was obvious that I liked it. After a while he made his way down to my chest, giving it the same treatment and then he started even lower. Was he planning to mark my whole body? The thought caused a wave of arousal to rush through me and I gazed down at him lustfully.

His eyes looked up to meet mine as he trailed his tongue from one hipbone to the other. So lewd and so hot. Just what was he doing to me? I was puddy in his hands, so easily left eager and wanting more. Something like this didn't happen to me, it never happened to me. I couldn't explain it. Levi affected me in ways no one ever had, taking me apart like I was so used to doing to others. He was turning my whole world upside down. Levi sat up and reached over into the nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lube. I couldn't help feeling a little nervous as I looked at it, but I knew how things were going to go.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked softly as he moved back down between my legs, looking at me and seeking out what I was feeling.

I shook my head, offering him a small smile. "No, I'm alright. Just . . . take it slow."

"I am taking it slow." He huffed, gaze dropping to my cock. "Just how slow do you want it?"

"I meant when you stretch me." I told him, blushing a bit.

"You don't need to worry." He said as he brushed his lips along my shaft. "I said I'd take care of you. Didn't I?"

"You did." I agreed, shivering at his touch and relaxing against the pillow. "Okay. I'm ready."

I felt him smile against my length before he kissed his way up to the tip, taking a few moments to tease me with those endless kisses along with the flick of his tongue. My breath hitched when he finally took me into his mouth, sucking the head of my cock so strongly that I started seeing stars. Being so preoccupied with his mouth on me, I didn't notice him spreading my legs or lubing his fingers until he was already teasing my entrance. I knew that trick, I had done that trick, but he still managed to catch me off guard. I tensed up at first, but knew I needed to relax. It wasn't hard to do when I was flooded with pleasure.

Levi purposely scraped his teeth across my member as he went down on me, sucking his way back off slowly and repeating the process. Every time his teeth touched me, it drove me crazy, the almost burn soothed away by his tongue. His finger stayed at my entrance, not entering but just keeping pressure there as he fucked me with his mouth-soon sheathing his teeth, bobbing his head and the sucking… it had my body jerking every time. I fisted the sheet with one hand and his black hair with the other. Soft moans left my lips and I closed my eyes, the fact that I hadn't had sex in a long time hitting me hard.

The first finger slid inside of me and I clenched around it due to the foreign feeling and heat that only lasted for a few seconds before it was gone. Levi's mouth went down on me, taking all of me in at the same time. He was patient, using only the tip of his finger for a moment but eventually it moved further in. The sensation was strange, but not unenjoyable. I moaned between staggered breaths as he started moving his head again and then focused on my sensitive tip for a long moment, finger completely still until he went back down. He was good and I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt such pleasure—I wasn't sure if I ever had.

It didn't take long at all for me to be completely relaxed at the feel of his finger and with the way he was going down on me, I wasn't sure how long I could last because I was already struggling not to fall apart. My moans grew louder and he took that as a sign to suck harder, my hand tugging at his hair.

"S-stop, I'm gonna come!" I warned, just at the edge.

His lips popped off of me and he hummed. "Don't."

"Levi." I panted, pausing to collect myself. I knew what game he was playing at. "Don't be mean."

"I just told you not to come. How is that mean?" He asked nonchalantly as he moved his finger around inside of me.

"B-cause you're going to try and make me." I stated matter of factly.

"No." He breathed and closed his mouth around my cock once more, sucking hard as his finger pulled back and then two were stretching me open.

I tossed my head back and tugged his hair again. "You bastard!" I moaned, the need to come building in my stomach again.

"Fine, I'll take it easy on you." He relented, having moved his mouth to the side of my shaft instead. But his fingers moved steadily, much faster than before.

I breathed a sigh of relief and loosened my hold in his hair. "Thank you." I said, slightly wiggling my hips. It was starting to feel . . . good. I knew that was normal, but it still surprised me. "It doesn't hurt."

"I know. It feels good, right?"

He sounded so damn smug. "Maybe . . ."

"Is it hard for you to admit it?" He asked and then ran his tongue along my member while moving his fingers faster, opening them and stretching me.

I moaned again, it only getting better the more he stretched. "Y . . . you already . . . know."

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't like to hear you admit it." He muttered, and then there was suddenly more lube and another finger.

I couldn't help moaning constantly now and I knew I wouldn't really lose anything if I told him. I slid the hand in his hair down to his face to cup his cheek, looking at him meaningfully.

"I-it . . . feels good."

Smiling at my admission, Levi removed his fingers slowly and then crawled over me. "You ready?" He asked, lips moving to mine and he was already getting into position.

"Yeah." I nodded, eagerly leaning up for another kiss.

Levi kissed me hard, entering me slowly and swallowing every sound that escaped me. The deeper he went, the heavier he breathed, and soon he was no longer trying to kiss me. He cursed at my ear as he stilled halfway in, his arms resting on either side of my head. I held tightly onto his broad shoulders, trembling from the new feeling of being entered. It was a completely different way of becoming one with another person and so much more intense. I was overwhelmed. It was too much, he wasn't even all the way in yet, but somehow I wanted more. Was that normal?

It wasn't long at all before his lips returned to mine and he started to move, gradually giving me more and more with each thrust until finally I felt all of him. I whimpered in pure bliss, never having imagined it would feel like this. My mind was in a daze and all I could think about was Levi. All I could feel was Levi and the way he fit inside of me was downright perfect. It felt amazing, but I knew it would feel better when he started to move. I weakly kissed back as my hands trailed down his muscled back, lightly scratching on the way back up. This was truly something else.

A few moments later, his hips began thrusting with slow and steady movements. Just that was enough to have me clinging to him. The heavy drag of his cock teased and caressed me, pulling more whimpers from my throat. We refused to part our lips despite the gentle groans and moans that we let out. His fingers found my hair again and I was glad he was taking it easy, otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep up. I knew I was shaking, but it couldn't be helped. At this rate he was going to end up wrecking me and I desperately wanted him to. I had never desired something like that before and I was pretty shocked at the thoughts running through my mind.

I wanted him to give me more, but I wasn't sure I couldn't handle it. As if reading my mind, he picked up the pace and explored every inch of my mouth with his tongue all over again. Everything I was feeling turned up a notch and it was driving me crazy. It wasn't long before he started moving even faster, changing the angle of his hips and hitting my prostate. I violently clenched around him and we both broke the kiss with a gasp. The room was suddenly filled with my loud moans and I wrapped my legs around him, nails digging into his back. It was way too much, I couldn't take it.

It only took a couple more thrusts before I was coming between us, Levi's name falling from my lips over and over again. He wasn't able to hold out much longer after, seeking my mouth once more for a sloppy kiss as he spilled inside of me. For some reason I thought it would be cold, but his come was hot as it filled me. I was trembling uncontrollably and laid limp underneath him. It was nothing like I thought it would be. I didn't know how to describe it, but I knew I liked it. A lot. Levi showered my face in sweet kisses as he pulled out and a shaky breath escaped me.

He rolled onto his side next and I used the last of my strength to cuddle up to his chest. His arm went around me, pulling me closer and I moved my hand over his back to his shoulder blade. He tugged the blanket over us as we caught our breaths and I closed my eyes, the fatigue getting to me. I felt Levi start playing with my hair again and I smiled. To think I had enjoyed it so much, it was really unexpected. I didn't think it would be possible with anyone other than Levi, he was one of a kind. I was still shaken at finding out he was a top and even more so at how well he handled me.

He had torn down everything I thought I knew about myself and replaced it with something different, a whole new experience. It was something I had to get used to for sure though everything was still sinking in. That had really just happened, I had bottomed. How had he gotten me to agree so easily, why did I agree so easily? I wasn't able to resist him and I wanted everything he had to give. He never failed to surprise me and I looked forward to more surprises in the future.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six- Levi**

There was a time when I thought I was always in control-always-but then Eren Jaeger came barging into my life. Something about the guy just got to me and every ounce of control I had just melted away. He was cute and I'd wanted to have him for a while. Even if I tried not to, I couldn't help imagining what it would be like. I knew I probably shouldn't indulge but that didn't stop me. He was always around, making it even more difficult for me and then it finally happened.

Eren actually thought that I was a bottom, which really amused me more and more every time I thought about it. It was also funny that he didn't know he was a bottom and I'd thoroughly enjoyed proving him wrong. He enjoyed it too. The whole thing was cute honestly, especially how he clung to me as he slept afterwards. I wasn't one to cuddle-ever, but I didn't mind when it came to Eren. In fact, it seemed that I actually liked it. I wanted to touch him and when I started kissing him, I just couldn't stop.

It was strange because I usually wasn't like this when it came to being with someone. Sex was easy, simple, but all that extra wasn't. There was no escaping him though and I realized quickly that I didn't want to. I liked him being around. I wanted him to stay. Even more so after finally taking him. I had dozed off for a little while but couldn't sleep long. Eren was sleeping hard, holding loosely onto me as he breathed deeply. I just laid there, not wanting to disturb him. It wasn't like I had anything better to be doing anyway.

For a long time I just absentmindedly played with his hair, wondering how this was going to end. It wasn't like I really wanted it to end, at least not so soon but there was no way for me to know what was going to transpire between us. It could go exceedingly well or it could go straight to shit. All I could do was wait and see what happened.

I was still lost in my head and playing with Eren's hair when he suddenly snuggled closer to me and held me a little tighter. That and the change in his breathing told me he was awake so I moved my hand from his hair to his face and pushed his head back so I could look at him. He stared at me, teal-green eyes half lidded from his sleep. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed and he was possibly cuter than he'd ever been.

"You plan to sleep all day?" I asked, tone thick with amusement.

He seemed to think about it for a moment. "No. I'll get up in . . . a little bit." He said, eyes drifting closed again.

"Okay." I hummed, pushing his hair back off his forehead. "You sleep." I told him then before moving to get up.

"Hey." He whined, holding onto me tighter.

_Cute. _"What?" I asked, trying not to smile.

"Who said you could leave?" He asked as he opened his eyes again to look at me.

"I have to. Cooking to do." I told him simply, refusing to kiss him even if it was so tempting.

He pouted. "Fine."

"Just go back to sleep." I said, pulling his arms off of me as I got up.

He sighed and pulled the blanket up further, closing his eyes once more to go back to sleep. I smiled to myself as I left the room and headed to the kitchen to figure out what I was going to cook. I needed to shower and some clothes would have been nice, but I decided not to worry about getting dressed until after I showered. Once I figured out what I was going to cook and got it started, I went to have a shower in the guest bathroom so I wouldn't disturb Eren. When I finished I went back to my bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist and found him stepping out of my bathroom, having taken a shower of his own.

"You didn't sleep long." I murmured as I walked to my dresser to get some clothes.

"It was cold." He said as if that explained everything.

Trying to ignore the marks I'd left all over him, I quickly got dressed and moved to my bed, needing to change it. Eren left quietly, surely heading upstairs to get dressed as well. I finished changing the bed and went to put the covers I'd pulled off in the washing machine before returning to the kitchen. I made a pot of coffee and impatiently waited for it to finish brewing, annoyed that I hadn't started it before my shower.

As soon as I had a cup I went into the living room, Luther walking circles around my feet. I sat down, ready to smoke and he jumped up and curled onto my lap, craving some attention. I wondered if he'd missed me while I'd been so out of it. I wondered how Eren managed to pull me out of that dangerous downward spiral so easily. I wanted to be better- do better. The thought of writing even crossed my mind. But why… I'd given it up… there was nothing more for me to write. There was no point. So why would I bother?

Really, writing was a part of me and without it I just wasn't myself. Just because it was pointless didn't mean I couldn't enjoy it. Why had I even lost it over my writing in the first place? I really wasn't sure. The more I thought about it, the more I started itching and my eyes kept wandering. I wanted to write. I really wanted to write. I was going to fucking write.

I got up, finished my cigarette as I checked on the food and turned the burners down and then went into my study with a fresh cup of coffee. I stared at my desk for a moment before taking a deep breath and pulling my seat out. I set my cup down and turned on my computer before taking the seat. The mood struck me hard and before I knew it, I was exploring the world I'd created even further, moving forward and writing. I was writing and it felt so good.

I'd gotten so invested that when I went to have a sip of my coffee it had already cooled and I cringed, but didn't let it discourage me. I didn't have time to go fix another cup, not when the words were flowing into my mind faster than I could type them out. I couldn't stop and didn't look away from the screen until a plate was suddenly placed on the desk beside me. I turned to look at Eren who was smiling down at me.

"I forgot about the food… didn't I?" I breathed, unable to help feeling exhilarated because of it.

"You sure did." He grinned and went to sit at the small table in the corner, his plate already sitting over there.

It was nice knowing I'd been so engrossed in my writing that I hadn't noticed him come in at first and I didn't even have my earbuds playing my usual concentrating music. I thought over what I was going to do next while reading over what I'd already written, eating quickly. I finished in record time and got right back to it, paying no mind to the time or anything else.

I was taken by surprise when Eren came up and pushed me back in the seat by my shoulders, swinging his leg over me to sit in my lap. He settled his face in my neck and let all of his weight fall on me without a word. I sighed, he was really something else but I said nothing and neither did he. I just returned to my writing, finding comfort in having him cling to me. Why, I didn't know. If he was anyone else I probably would have shoved him off of me. No, I knew I would have. But this was Eren and I couldn't help liking him being so close to me.

He stayed quiet, breathing softly against my neck as I typed, concentrating solely on my writing. It was hard to believe that I wasn't distracted by him laying on me like this, but I wasn't at all. I just kept writing until finally I checked the time and my brow furrowed at realizing it was three in the morning. This always happened to me… but that didn't mean I wanted to drag Eren down with me. I raised my hand to the back of his head and moved a bit, finding that he was fast asleep, completely limp.

This was unexpected and I found myself just relaxing in the chair for a while, debating whether I should wake him up or not but eventually decided to just carry him to bed. He was really out, not so much as flinching at the movement. I got into bed with him and covered us up, wrapping my arm around him and in no time at all I fell asleep as well.

Morning came and I woke up with the urge to get back to my story. I couldn't believe Eren was still asleep, but he was- and holding onto me as if he never wanted to let go. Not wanting to wake him, I carefully moved his arm away from me and got up silently. I showered, cooked a quick breakfast for us and ate mine before moving my coffee pot into my study. I didn't even smoke, too eager to start writing again. It was the weekend so there was no school to worry about and I didn't have anything else to worry about.

The door suddenly opened and I looked over to see Eren carrying a stack of books. He set them on the small table and then moved the table right behind my seat. My eyebrow rose in question, but he just smiled before placing himself in my lap. I heard him pick up a book behind my head and he rested his chin over my shoulder, apparently about to read.

It was amusing but didn't bother me at all. I returned to my writing, having a sip of coffee every now and then. Everything was flowing well and I couldn't remember the last time I was able to write so excessively without struggling in the least. It was amazing. I was so happy. I needed this. I knew I couldn't let myself fall off ever again.

Eren's hand came up to cup my face and it caught my attention. "I'll be right back." He said and got up, probably to go to the bathroom.

But since I'd been pulled away from my story, I heard the sound of someone knocking on the door. Scowling, I got up and left the study. I made it into the living room just as Eren was opening the door.

"Can I help you?" Eren asked the person on the other side.

"... Where's Levi?" A voice I recognized asked after a momentary pause and I strode over to the door, moving Eren aside to open it further.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked quietly, trying to reign in my temper.

Togami looked at me, frowning slightly and averting his eyes soon after. "I came to see you." He murmured before looking over to Eren, his frown deepening as he studied him.

Not liking the way he looked at Eren, I pushed Eren back away from the door and closed it to shield him from Togami's prying eyes. "You saw me. Now get lost."

He wasn't surprised at my cold tone but he wasn't happy either. "But-"

"Don't come back." I cut him off and closed the door in his face, part of me wanting to open it again and kick him in the face. I exhaled a deep sigh and walked past Eren to get my cigarettes.

He was quiet for a second and then spoke. "So, who was that? Is he the same as that redheaded guy?"

I lit my cigarette before asking, "What's that mean?"

"Is he another guy that can't take a hint?" He reiterated, studying my expression.

"Oh… I guess you could say that." I shrugged and sat on the couch, crossing my legs as I smoked.

Eren huffed and mumbled under his breath, "You sure are popular."

"Why do you think that?" I asked, looking at him and his scrunched face. So cute.

"Because that's twice now someone has showed up." He stressed. "I don't like it."

And just when I thought he couldn't get any cuter. "Are you jealous?"

Eren came over to stand in front of me, crossing his arms. "I don't care who came before me, Levi, but just know that no one is coming after."

I couldn't believe he could say such a thing so seriously. "Well, you're here aren't you. Not anyone else."

"Damn straight." He agreed with a smirk. "I did try to warn you, I'm a jealous and possessive guy."

Clingy and cuddly was cute but jealous and possessive could be a bit much. I sighed as I finished my cigarette and put it out, not sure what to really say. "Don't get so worked up. I don't want anyone else."

"The same goes for me." He confessed, smirk softening into a smile.

I stood up and stretched, annoyed that Togami had interrupted my writing and got Eren worked up all at the same time. "I'm going to get back to it. He had no business showing up here… I'm sorry he did."

"I'm not blaming you." He told me honestly. "I'll be there in a minute, I want to get a snack first. You want anything?"

"Sure." I said before making my way back to my study. I probably needed to find my phone wherever it was and make sure nobody else tried to come over unannounced. If they did Eren might show his not so cute side and I wasn't interested in seeing it.

He brought some snacks and I ate, sipped coffee and wrote, easily forgetting about the unwanted visitor for the time being. As it grew later, I figured I needed to cook dinner but I didn't want to stop writing and I didn't want Eren to move either-since he'd made his way back onto my lap. But the snacks hadn't cut it and I was hungry so I leaned back and stretched.

"We need to get up."

Eren put his book down, but didn't move. " . . . I'm comfy."

"Well I'm hungry. And there's school tomorrow."

He groaned. "Don't remind me. Armin has been blowing up my phone all day, I had to put it on silent this morning." He said and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I think he finally stopped."

"You should let him know you're alright." I said, remembering that I needed to find my own phone. I moved my hands to his back and trailed them down to his ass. "Come on now, get up."

"Alright, alright." He said and moved, a light blush on his cheeks. "I'll give Armin a call." He said and turned to go out the door.

"I'll start cooking." I told him, leaving after him to go to the kitchen. I found my phone on the way and put it on charge in the kitchen while I got started on cooking.

Eren was in the living room on the couch talking to his friend while I busied myself, doing a little cleaning while I cooked. When there was nothing left to clean and the food was cooking slowly, I powered on my phone to check it. I had a lot of messages and it was frustrating. I hated clingy. Usually…

I didn't feel like dealing with anyone and at times like this I wished that I never bothered fucking around. I didn't bother responding to any of the messages and didn't check all my voicemails either. I just put my phone back down and went to watch the food cook, listening to Eren's voice from the living room. I couldn't make out anything he was saying but for some reason hearing his voice at all calmed me. He talked for a while until his conversation ended abruptly and he came padding into the kitchen.

"Everything okay?" I asked as I turned to face him, leaning back against the counter.

"Yeah." He sighed, sounding put out. "Armin was just interrogating me. He went over to my apartment to visit and well, obviously I wasn't there. He wants to meet you . . . officially."

I assumed the two of them must have been close but I wasn't really the best with people, which is why I avoided them most of the time. "I suppose I could meet him." I grumbled, not sure how I really felt about it. "But not if he's going to try interrogating me."

"It's in exchange for his silence . . . for however long that'll last. I'll tell him to rein in the questions, though. He just wants to see what kind of person you are with his own eyes." He explained.

Sounded like it would end up as an interrogation. "Is it really any of his business?" I asked, not liking this situation. I did like Eren a lot but I wasn't one for all this baggage.

"Well, he's my best friend . . . and I don't have a choice." He said, the second part coming out a little bitter.

"You don't have a choice?" I didn't understand how that could be true… but even if he didn't, I did.

"I guess there's no point in hiding it." He said and ran a hand through his dark brown hair. "My other friend, Mikasa . . . she's a handful and he threatened to tell her. Trust me when I say we don't want that. I'll need to explain the situation myself, but if she finds out I didn't tell her? You can kiss my sweet ass goodbye."

"What is it that you haven't told her?" I asked, more grateful that I didn't keep any friends now more than ever.

He winced. "Uh, that I'm staying here . . . and that we're, you know, sleeping together. Look, she can turn into a bit of a psycho so I really want to avoid that. Please just come with me to see Armin tomorrow, it won't even be for an hour."

I didn't know what to make of any of this and I couldn't say I liked it. "You mean that we slept together?" I questioned, since it had only happened once. Who was to say that it would happen again?

"So it was a one time thing?" He asked, expression carefully neutral.

"I don't know." I shrugged, crossing my arms as I studied his ever-expressive eyes. "Was it?"

He frowned, confused. "Why are you asking me? I thought my intentions were pretty clear."

He wanted this to be a recurring thing and that didn't bother me… but I was sure it was a lot more than that. More than I was used to. He was already more than I was used to but now… these friends and then the thought of him being possessive on top of being jealous. I had a lot to think about. Hurting Eren was not something I wanted to do, but I wasn't made out for this level of commitment. Was I? Unable to answer him, I turned back to the stove and started checking everything.

"I'm going to go take a bath." Eren said before he headed upstairs.

The food was done now, but I didn't bother stopping him. I'd suddenly lost my appetite and went for a cigarette instead of eating. Maybe it wasn't such a big deal- me meeting his friends, but I still didn't like it. I didn't like being put in uncomfortable situations, I liked keeping to myself but Eren just had to go and ruin all that. I laid on the couch suffering from my annoying thoughts, smoking a couple cigarettes before I just laid there on my back, staring at the ceiling. How did I get myself in such a situation?

"I thought you were cooking." Eren said as he came in the room. He walked over and looked down at me expectantly, but when I didn't move he laid right on top of me. "Food. I'm hungry."

"The food is done. Go eat." I mumbled, closing my eyes. Maybe I should sleep.

He hummed and poked my face. "Are you going to eat too, or what?"

"Later." I shrugged under him and sighed. "Just go eat."

"You're going to have back problems if you keep sleeping on the couch." He warned before getting off of me and heading in the kitchen to make a plate.

I rolled onto my side, facing the back of the couch and closed my eyes. I'd eat after a little nap.

Sometime later I woke up with a blanket over me and rolled over to find Eren sitting on the floor playing with Luther. I watched them until Eren peeked over at me and then got up, going to eat finally. When I finished and got everything cleaned up, I went back into the living room for a cigarette and watched Eren while I smoked. When I finished, I got up and went over to him, offering my hand.

"Come to bed with me."

Eren took my hand and I hauled him to his feet, pulling him to my bedroom. I stripped down to my briefs and then got into bed, wanting to catch up on sleep before school tomorrow. Eren got into bed with me and our arms wound around each other. He drifted off long before me, but I slept well throughout the night and woke up to Eren's face rubbing against my neck. It felt like morning had come so soon and I sighed at knowing I had to get up.

Eren's phone went off and he whined, rolling over to hit the snooze button and then rolling back over to me. I smiled and moved my hand to his hair, combing my fingers through it slowly. "Time to get up."

"I got ten more minutes." He mumbled sleepily.

"Hm. I was hoping for a kiss before we left for school… but if you insist you can sleep instead."

Eren opened his eyes and looked at me, considering his options. "I want to kiss."

"Good choice." I smiled and moved my lips closer to his. "Just a kiss."

He closed the small distance between us and ran his tongue over my bottom lip. I opened my mouth, finding his tongue with my own and moving him onto his back. My hands went to his hair as our tongues danced around for a while and then I pulled mine back to capture his lips instead. His lips were so soft, the absolute most kissable lips. I couldn't stop, I kissed him deeply, sucking his plump bottom lip before taking it between my teeth. He mewled at the attention and kissed back with just as much passion. Soon he turned the tables and flipped me onto my back, teasingly nipping my tongue. His hand held onto my biceps while the other lightly dragged his nails up my side.

I let him have his way, caring about nothing more than those perfect lips. I cupped his face instead of holding onto his hair, angling his head so that I could kiss him more deeply but when his hips aligned with mine and I felt his erection, I wrapped my legs around him and forced him back onto his back. I broke the kiss once I was back on top of him, staring down at the dazed look on his face as he panted. I didn't want it to end. I was thinking quite seriously of not even worrying about school-but then I thought leaving him like this would be interesting.

"Time's up." I said simply just before his phone went off again.

Eren blindly reached for his phone and sighed in frustration. "Damn it, it was just getting to the good part."

Just? I moved off of him and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. I'd definitely be able to get some writing done at school so I wasn't dreading it. It didn't take me too long to get ready besides collecting all my things and making sure I had it all together. Since I was going to school, my music was a necessity. But I usually only listened to it in the library and for some reason I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to the library at all. I could just skip it, come home instead but I would decide later.

Once I was ready, I went to fix my usual cup of coffee. It was raining so I supposed we'd take the car today. It needed to be driven anyway. I heard Eren come down the stairs before he appeared in the kitchen, putting his phone down to feed Luther. He petted him a couple times and then went back to his phone, scrolling for a second before his eyes went wide.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, making Luther jump and fluff up.

"Do you need to be so loud?" I scoffed and moved to soothe Luther.

Eren was beaming with energy, looking over at me with a huge grin on his face. "It's coming out in three days!"

"What is?" I glared at him and stood back straight to gather my things.

"This book I've been waiting for, it's the last one in the series. The release date was moved up and I absolutely have to get my hands on it." He told me and held his phone up to show me the notification.

"I see." I said, wondering if I could ever write something that would make him that excited. I frowned at the thought as I grabbed my keys off the bar. "Let's go. We're taking the car today."

He pulled the strap of his shoulder bag up further before following me out. "Can I drive?"

"What?" I frowned. "I don't think so." I said as I walked to the driver's side of the car and got in.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." He said after he got in the passenger's side, putting his seatbelt on.

"When you get your license, I'll let you drive."

School went smoothly and I was able to write just as I hoped. I'd decided to not go to the library after school but Eren came up to me, reminding me that he wanted me to meet Armin so I decided the library would be a good place. It was quiet, so he wouldn't be able to be loud and interrogate me. Eren didn't argue and we went to the library together, sitting at our usual table while we waited on his friend to arrive.

Eren was staring at the table, lost in his own thoughts. He didn't look nervous or worried, but there was an air of impatience about him. His phone vibrated and he checked it before turning around in his seat. He looked for his friend and waved when he spotted him, a short blond figure making his way over to us. Eren greeted him as he sat down next to him, blue eyes glancing at me curiously. We had only seen each other once before when I had asked for Eren's help with a paragraph that had been giving me trouble.

"Hello. I'm Armin." The blond said cheerily.

"I'm Levi." I introduced myself casually, hoping it was over.

Armin leaned forward in his seat and seemed to be analyzing me. "I don't want to waste your time and I doubt you'd be interested in hanging out, so I just have one question for you. Let's say you're at the supermarket."

"What the hell?" Eren voiced and Armin gave him a look.

"You promised not to interfere, please be quiet." He told him and Eren huffed, crossing his arms but didn't say anything further. "So, you're in the supermarket and come across some apples. You decided to try one and find out you like it. You keep coming back for more, feeling content. But then one day you remember that you also like oranges and pears. You've started to grow tired of apples and want to eat something different, though you don't want to give up apples entirely. My question for you is, are you going to stick with apples or try to mix them in with the oranges and pears?"

I was certain that this was the weirdest guy I'd ever came across in my life and I knew what he was getting at. Quite frankly, he'd pissed me off and I had to take a moment to compose myself before responding. I mean here I'd agreed to meet the guy and he was testing me. I wasn't here to prove I was worthy of Eren because I probably wasn't and I was seriously regretting this meeting.

Armin got up before the silence could stretch too long. "You can get back to me on that, I wasn't really expecting an answer. Just keep in mind that apples don't have thick skin and if you aren't careful, they'll rot." He gave Eren a pat on the shoulder and told him goodbye. "I'll see you later."

"What, that's it? Really?" Eren asked him suspiciously.

"That's it. Try not to annoy Levi too much, now." He said and Eren scoffed. With one last glance in my direction, he was off and left the library.

"What a piece of work." I grumbled, rolling my eyes as I got up. "Let's get going."

Eren grabbed his bag and stood. "Alright. Mind if we stop by my place?"

I wasn't really in the mood but I nodded, deciding it would be okay. "Fine."

"Cool. I won't be long." He promised and then added, "Sorry about Armin, he gets like that sometimes. Thanks for agreeing to meet him."

"Can't say I don't regret it." I muttered as we exited the school. "Who the hell gets off on comparing people to fruit?"

"Is that what he was doing? How could you tell?" He asked curiously.

He hadn't noticed? "It was obvious. You were the fucking apple."

Eren's brow furrowed. "Me?" He questioned. "But what do I have to do with oranges and pears?"

"Nothing. They have to do with me… and other people."

He didn't look any less confused. "Am I being dense here? I don't get it."

"You're being extremely dense." I sighed. "But it doesn't matter."

"I don't see why it has to be complicated." He complained. "Armin should have just said what he meant directly."

I didn't see how it needed to be any more direct. "He was coming at me and I didn't like it." I admitted, unable to let it go. This was why I didn't like being involved.

"Seriously? Ugh, I told him to chill. I should have known he wouldn't listen. I keep telling him and Mikasa I can take care of myself, honestly." He said as we reached the car.

However he dealt with them was way beyond me and just imagining that Mikasa girl being worse than Armin… I shivered just at the thought. Having Eren around was one thing but meeting just one of his friends hadn't gone well… so I didn't intend to meet any more of them.

I took him by his apartment and waited in the car while he ran inside to get some of his things. It didn't take him long to get some more of his clothes and some different books. When we made it home I started dinner and did some laundry, writing while I could. Eren was sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework and that kept reminding me that I had homework of my own to do. I wasn't happy about it-never was, but I ended up sitting at the table with him to do my own. Even though I dreaded it, it never took me long and I flew through the homework, finishing before Eren even though he'd been working on his for a while.

I decided to get back to writing but couldn't help looking over at him. He seemed frustrated and I didn't want him struggling. "Do you need any help?" I asked quietly before doing any writing. I could always help him first if he needed me.

"I'm an apple." He said under his breath, not really listening. "Doesn't make any sense . . . if anything, I would be a watermelon."

My brows raised at his words and after a moment, I laughed. "Eren… stop. Do your homework."

He looked up at me and blinked before he smiled. "Right. Okay."

Damn brat thinking he was a watermelon, stressing over this fruit scenario and still being completely oblivious to what it was actually about. I didn't want to clarify anything, because I didn't want him questioning me either and I also didn't want him getting jealous for no reason. He seemed okay with his homework, so I minded my own business, starting to jot down some things I'd been thinking over that I would need to remember.

Eren had been right… I didn't know what I was getting myself into and I wasn't so sure I was happy about it. I was… but I was worried about the future-about what was going to happen between us. How Eren was going to act about us and whatever this was between us. How I was going to deal with him period when I hated clingy and yet, he was the most clingy person I'd ever met and somehow managed to make me like clingy. How I was going to get rid of all the other fruit in my life just to keep the apple… and if the apple was worth it. There was too much to think about, but I preferred not to think about it at all and instead just take things one day at a time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven- Eren**

I was walking on eggshells. Armin found me out and I couldn't lie to him, but now he knew and it was only a matter of time before Mikasa got wind of everything. I just hoped he didn't tell her I slept with Levi. That would make it fives time worse than it was already going to be. I had gotten a reality check when Levi corrected me about us sleeping together, pointing out that it only happened once. I had gone to take a bath in order to take a step back, stopping things before they escalated. Despite my better judgement, I had sex with him and was in it for the long haul. From the beginning I was straightforward, I warned him that he didn't know what he was getting into and that I wasn't the type to sleep around. I was honest about everything so I wouldn't have any regrets.

However, that didn't affect the situation I was in. Levi said that I was the one he wanted and he was letting me live in his house for heaven's sake. It was clear he wanted me around even if he might not want to sleep with me again. He put up with my clinginess and desire to cuddle, he was always accepting of a make out session. He wasn't treating me badly and had finally started writing again. Yet, he didn't want a relationship and that was just as clear as everything else. He was committed, but he didn't do commitment. I didn't know if it had something to do with his past, that he wasn't sure how or that he simply didn't want to. He wasn't interested in labels and he wasn't going to call me his boyfriend.

I took hold of my temper and didn't jump the gun most of the time. I wasn't going to go on a rant about how he was using me or how he led me on. I was here because I chose to be, he wasn't forcing me to do anything. I was going to wait and see if things could change because I wanted it to work out. I decided to stay even if in the end I got hurt. I had taken the risk, there was no way I wasn't going to give it my best effort. Since Levi wanted me and I wanted him, I was going to treat him like my lover. I wouldn't tolerate any cheating and I wouldn't cheat on him either. Sure I was hard to deal with, I was well aware. I was pushy, possessive, clingy and jealous. But I was reasonable and truthful, I was completely willing to compromise and talk things out.

Not everyone could handle me, especially in a relationship, but I wasn't going to hide who I was. If it worked then it worked, if it didn't then it didn't. I would still try my best at the end of the day, but I wouldn't beat a dead horse. Even someone like me knew when to walk away. Well, some of the time. Mikasa in particular would disagree. She never hesitated to throw my bad habits and decisions in my face, using them to stop me from making more. She would have dragged me away by any means necessary if she knew what I was doing. In fact, if I had said more in the beginning then she would have stopped me from getting into this situation in the first place. Armin for the most part let me try and fail, but Mikasa didn't want me to make mistakes and learn from them. Her only concern was shielding me from the bad in the world.

I loved her for that, I really did, but Levi wasn't bad. She didn't need to shield me from him and that was why I wanted to keep her in the dark. Levi had his good and bad points just like everyone else, I just had to see if he let his bad ones overcome him. It wouldn't be like before when he started to lose himself, I would be here every step of the way and challenge his stubborn ass when he was being difficult. I expected the same in return and knew he would call me out on my bullshit. No matter what I was still the same person I had always been, he would never meet someone more determined and headstrong. Although, some things about me were changing. Instead of wanting my lover to sit in my lap I was the one wanting to sit in his lap. Now it didn't even bug me that I was the little spoon, I was perfectly fine as long as we cuddled. In all honesty, I liked being held and I still got to hold onto him so it was nice. I was surprised he let me cling to him like a koala.

I was currently doing just that as he sat at his computer to write with me occupying his lap, my face in his neck as the sound of the keyboard threatened to put me to sleep. I never peeked at what he was writing because I wanted to wait until it was finished and he asked me to read it. Though it was very tempting, I had really enjoyed his other novel. Sometimes I snuck into his study to read it over again when he was taking a nap. It was Wednesday morning, just before lunch time. Classes were canceled due to the constant rain we had been getting, the pour of water turning into storms and flooding some of the streets. It wasn't dangerous as long as people stayed indoors and the level of water wasn't too bad. I hoped it let up soon nonetheless or else things would take a turn for the worst, tomorrow wasn't looking good either. That was the really depressing part because tomorrow the book I wanted was being released. If it kept raining like this, all the bookstores might be closed.

I tried not to let it get to me and wished for the best. I was starting to get hungry, but I didn't want to move. I fought with myself over it for about five more minutes before sitting up and getting out of Levi's lap. I told him I was going to make lunch and then headed to the kitchen, leaving the door ajar behind me. I cooked something a little on the heavy side and made sure not to overload Levi's plate like I did my own. Next I carried the plates into the study and placed them on the small table I had moved behind Levi's chair. I touched his shoulder to get his attention when my eyes fell to his lap, spotting a familiar black feline.

"Luther, I thought we were friends." I said and he looked up at me, tail swinging.

"Come on," Levi looked at me from his seat, smirking. "You have to share."

As if to support his point, Luther stretched out on his lap. "I don't see why he can't lay in my lap if he wants to sit on someone." I said and grabbed Luther's paw. "Wouldn't you rather sit in my lap?"

"Are we really doing this right now?" Levi sighed and lifted Luther up, cradling him against his chest. "There."

I smiled and took back my spot, settling down on top of Levi. "I brought lunch." I told him and then said to Luther, "No hard feelings, I still love you."

"I'm hungry." Levi said then and put Luther down on the floor. He didn't look happy about it. "Sorry, Luther… later."

Luther stuck his tail in the air and sashayed out of the room. I reached for Levi's plate and handed it to him. I hadn't tried to sit and eat in his lap at the same time before, but now that I was there I didn't want to get up again.

"There might not be enough room for this." I mused as I stared down at his plate between us.

"I'll fix it." He said, rolling the chair to the side and then setting his plate on the table. "How about now?"

I smiled happily. "That works." I hadn't even thought of that solution.

We started eating together and talked before I took our plates in the kitchen. I decided to play with Luther for a little while as an apology, but had a chat with him about who was sitting where. When I got done I took a few books with me to the study and got back in Levi's lap to read. There were a good number of parts that made me laugh in one of the books, but I did my best not to be too loud by bringing it down to quiet giggles.

A few hours later, Levi took a break and we went into the living room to watch tv. Every now and then I would glance at the window, the sound of rain making me worry again. I had been waiting so long to get that book and there was no telling what happened tomorrow. Waiting one or two more days wouldn't kill me, but what if I wasn't able to get it? The author was pretty popular and I was sure other people were just as excited to get their hands on her work. I pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over me, resting my head on Levi's leg so I could focus on the show without being tempted to look at the windows.

"Eren… I forgot but there's something I have for you." Levi told me quietly. "I actually meant to give it to you last night."

I looked up at him curiously. "Really? What is it?"

"Let me get it for you." He said and I got up, watching him as he left the living room. He returned a moment later with a book in his hand and he sat down before handing it over to me.

I stared at the title in disbelief. "How did you . . . ?" It was the book I wanted, but there was no way it could be the book I wanted. It wasn't out yet, but it was unmistakably in my hand.

"I've had it for a while… it's a first edition that she sent me to read over. The released version will have some adjustments but nothing major."

I had so many questions, mainly about his connections to the publishing world, but there was something more important for me to say first. I leaned over and threaded my fingers through his black hair before closing the distance between us. I gave him a soft kiss, pulling back to stare into blue-grey eyes.

"Thank you."

Levi moved his hands to my face and pulled me back, kissing me hard. His lips connected with mine again and again, long kisses making my stomach flutter and my heart race. His fingers moved into my hair and he tipped my head back as he got up, deepening the kiss more by the second. I set the book aside and grasped his hips, kissing him back as much as I could. The taste of his lips drove me crazy and I eagerly opened my mouth for more. He didn't hesitate to give it to me and before I knew it, I was falling back on the couch with Levi in tow. I huffed out a laugh and he swallowed it whole, quickly turning it into a moan. Just as I raised my hands to his shoulders, a loud clap of thunder echoed through the house and everything went dark.

"Uh oh." I panted as I broke the kiss, hoping that didn't mean what I thought it meant. "Did the power just go out?"

"Who cares?" Levi huffed and moved his lips back to mine. He didn't kiss me though, just softly grazed my lips, teasing me. "Or do you want to stop and investigate?"

Damn him. "No . . . I'd rather investigate your mouth." I said and took his bottom lip between my teeth.

Levi grunted in response and his grip on my hair tightened. Our lips clashed together once more and his hips grinded down on me. I threw my leg over his and scratched my nails down his back, hips thrusting up against his. We kissed wildly for awhile until I was achingly hard in my pants and Levi wasn't in any better condition.

"B-bedroom." I breathed, wanting to feel his naked body against mine.

"Come on." He said, getting off of me and the couch. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up, wasting no time in leading me to his room through the dark.

I didn't bother closing the door behind us and felt for the bed before I pushed him down on the mattress. I crawled up his body and straddled his waist, taking my shirt off and tossing it on the floor. Levi's hands went to my thighs and I trailed my fingers up his arms to his clothed chest. The dark made it near impossible to see, but I knew he was watching me. I leaned down and mouthed at his neck, hands slipping under his shirt. My fingers traced and grabbed at his muscled body as I greedily marked his throat. Not being able to see seemed to heighten every touch and it fed into my impatience. I wanted him and I wanted him now. His hips suddenly bucked up and I gasped, his erection grinding against my ass. He did that on purpose.

"Don't knock me off." I chuckled as I sat back up, tugging his shirt over his head.

"Hold on then." He said, amusement thick in his tone as his hands roamed my legs.

I laughed and held onto his biceps. "Alright, give me your best shot."

He laughed with me and thrusted up again, but not as strongly. His hips rolled beneath me tauntingly. "Pants." He ground out, moving his hands to the waistband of my jogging pants. "Get rid of them."

"Yes sir." I smirked and raised my hands up to his shoulders.

I moved up so he could pull my pants and underwear down to my lower thighs, palms trailing back up to fondle my cheeks. I felt myself turn red, not used to the suggestive touch that promised much more. It was a challenge to finish stripping with him refusing to let go and was very distracting. Once I finally got them off, I pushed his hands away so I could make quick work of the rest of his clothes. When we were both naked I settled back down on his hips and shivered as he rubbed his dick against my ass. It was bewildering how much the anticipation was getting to me and I laid flush on top of him to capture his lips in a hungry kiss.

I was confident during sex, I knew how to work my body. However switching roles like this made me go weak in the knees, it made me melt. Just thinking about it and feeling his member was enough to get me all hot and bothered. My hands went to his hair as the kiss grew filthy, my shaft rubbing against his abs. We both groaned when his cock slid between my cheeks and he reached down to spread me wider. He kept thrusting up and driving me insane, the tip teasing my entrance. I was in a rush not too long ago and yet I was addicted to the steady grinding we were doing. It wasn't fast, but it was hard and demanding.

Another loud clap of thunder kept me from drowning and I sat back up, breaking the kiss. I caught my breath for a moment and then said, "I could finger myself, but you wouldn't be able to see it." It was a little mean, but I wanted to work him up some more before he drug me back under.

"Oh yeah?" He hummed softly. "Go ahead. I don't need to see."

_Cheeky._ "Okay then."

I blindly reached over to the nightstand and rummaged around until I found the lube. Then I opened the bottle with a pop, coating my fingers with the creamy substance. I put the bottle next to my leg so I could find it again and felt my way up Levi's body. I rested my hand next to his head and put some of my weight on it as I leaned forward on my knees, my other hand reaching behind me and between my cheeks. My face was right above Levi's and I could feel his eyes on me, wondering if he could see after all even if only a little. I ran a lubed finger over my entrance a few times to get it wet and my breath grew heavier at the feeling.

I didn't hesitate to slide one finger in, my skin going hot at the sensation. It wasn't just having something inside me that made my pulse quicken, I was able to experience myself clenching down at the intrusion. I was taken aback by the simultaneous feelings and I was glad neither one of us could see the look on my face. I closed my eyes and started moving in and out, slowly stretching myself. There was a dull burn, but it eased away after a few seconds. I didn't go faster until I added another finger and wiggled them around. I couldn't help squirming and pushing back into my own hand, a quiet moan leaving my lips.

It felt good and I scissored my fingers in a desire for more. More sounds left me as I continued to open myself up, but the building pleasure only made me impatient. Soon I was adding a third and rocked back harder against my pumping fingers. It took me by surprise when I brushed my prostate and my breath hitched, I had forgotten to look for it. I stilled my hips and pushed my fingers in deep, rubbing hard against it. I was vaguely aware of the little whines that I was making and my dick twitched at the prolonged pressure. I wasn't even focused on stretching now or the ever tightening grip on my thighs.

I opened my eyes just as a flash of lightning lit the room, the sight of Levi's expression making me leak pre-cum over his stomach. I pulled my fingers out in embarrassment as the sound of my heart pounded in my ears.

"Why are you stopping?" Levi asked, voice husky as he suddenly took hold of my member, stroking the tip just so.

"I-it's . . . it's enough." I told him.

"Yeah?" He ran his hand up and down my length, teasing me more than anything. "Then lube me up and get on."

I leaned back up and frantically grabbed the lube, popping the cap and squirted more onto my hand. It felt like I had gotten so worked up in a matter of seconds, but I knew minutes had passed by. I reached behind me and started stroking Levi's cock to cover it in lube. He groaned at the much needed attention and I gave him a firm squeeze before stopping to get into position. I placed the tip at my entrance, slowly working my way back and down onto his shaft. I didn't stop until my ass was flush with his thighs, my body trembling once he was all the way in. He held onto my waist as I splayed my hands across his chest.

I stayed still as I adjusted, my mind swirling at the overwhelming feeling of being filled again. It wasn't as intense as the first time, but it felt just as good. No, perhaps even better. He was deeper in this position and I was really starting to like it. Soon I began rolling my hips experimentally, moaning as his member caressed my walls. I couldn't wait any longer and brought my body up before coming back down. The result was instantaneous and I tossed my head back as I called Levi's name. This was new, but in a different way and I was so damn sensitive to it. I never knew it felt like this.

Levi leaned up suddenly, his hand taking purchase in my hair as his lips found mine and he kissed me softly. "I wish you could see the look on your face right now." He whispered against my lips and then tugged on my hair, forcing my head back. I groaned as his mouth moved to my neck and he sucked right over my pulse.

I was too far gone to question his vision and held onto him as I started moving my hips. I felt like I was burning up from the inside out, but I needed more. Levi thrusted up into me as I bounced in his lap, both of us chasing our release and driving the other higher. My legs ended up curling around his waist as he kept attacking my neck. His free hand traveled to the small of my back and held me there, pressing me up against him. My cock was trapped between us in the best possible way and I couldn't help scratching his back. It didn't matter that I couldn't see because I could feel everything, every soft touch and hard thrust.

I was only able to last a few more minutes before I was coming, tensing up as I was overcome with bliss. Levi took me through my orgasm and turned my head for a kiss. I weakly kissed back as he continued to move inside of me, faint whimpers leaving my lips from overstimulation. He deepened the kiss once he came seconds later and I clung to him, my body shaking. The sound of the rain came rushing back to me as we both panted. My eyes slid closed while we rested our foreheads against each other, Levi's hand beginning to rub my back.

We stayed like that until our breathing steadied and then Levi rolled me on my back, gently pulling out of me and laying beside me. I didn't feel as drained as I did the first time we did it, but I was still tired.

"Sex in the dark, check." I said as I cuddled up to Levi's side.

"You really enjoyed it. Didn't you?" He murmured, his arm moving around me and hand going to my hair as it did so often.

"It was hot." I confessed. "Don't you think so?"

"Yes." He agreed. "I've never let anyone ride me like that. We'll have to do it again."

I looked up at him in surprise, though I still couldn't see shit. "Really? Well, it goes without saying that I've never ridden anyone before. It was a first for both of us."

"You were quite a sight."

I snorted at that. "Sure I was, you couldn't actually see."

"Oh, but I saw everything." He said and I could hear his smirk.

I didn't believe him, not even a little. "So you're saying you can see right now?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah… so stop glaring at me."

My jaw dropped and it took me a moment to reply. "You . . . you just guessed that. How many fingers am I holding up?" I asked and held three fingers next to my face.

"Three and your face is red as hell." He chuckled.

I flushed darker in embarrassment and hid my face in his neck. "Stupid night vision." I muttered under my breath, wondering how his sight was so good when he stared at a computer all the time.

"I don't understand why it bothers you. It really turned me on." _Well then._

"It doesn't bother me . . . . it's just embarrassing." I explained. Even I didn't know what expressions I had made.

"It shouldn't be… you should want to show me all of those sexy faces." He said quietly, not bothering to hide his amusement.

I bit his neck, not knowing where this sudden shyness was coming from. "You suck."

"You like it though." He said, voice suddenly sounding deeper. "And don't bite me again."

"Or what?" I sassed, trailing my hand up his chest. "But you're right . . . I do like it."

Levi grabbed my hand and sighed. "Go to sleep, unless you're ready for more."

I thought about it, considering my options, but decided to save that piece of information for later. "Alright." I said and moved a little closer.

"Maybe the power will stay out and we can play again tomorrow." Levi teased, his fingers tickling my back.

"Don't think I won't." I giggled and kissed his jaw.

"Better rest up then." He said and I felt him smile.

I couldn't help smiling back, enjoying the moment. He pulled the cover over us and I sighed in content. Sleep came gradually but quickly, not even the sound of thunder able to stop it. I had doubted there would be class tomorrow and now hoped that it would keep raining. There wasn't any rush to read that book either, I had it and would finally end the series when Levi sat down at his computer to write. I still had questions about it, but I was happy that he'd given it to me. It meant a lot and I suspected he knew that. It really made me think he was a man after my own heart, but I wouldn't get too carried away. I was optimistic though and I wanted things to keep going in this direction. We could be happy together, we proved that everyday. All Levi had to do was realize it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight- Levi**

There was something about bad weather that always made me lazy. Having no power was usually depressing, but the thought of playing with Eren made it interesting. There was a lot else we could be doing, even without power but we both wanted each other more than anything else. As soon as I woke up the mood struck me, and I didn't feel guilty at all as I woke Eren up. I stole his breath with endless kisses and didn't hesitate to get on top of him.

I'd never had any problem when it came to sex and my partners thoroughly enjoying the act—most of the time even more than I did myself, but there was something about Eren. The way his gaze softened and yet became so filled with desire. How his cheeks flushed. His body language and every little sound that he made. It was maddening. He was different from any of the other guys I'd been with, possibly because he'd never bottomed until he met me.

Eren wasn't as shy and submissive as the others, but he was far more cute than any of them. Truly, everything about him turned me on and I was glad he was still willing to give himself to me. His friend Armin was something else, but I could definitely see Eren as the apple of my eye. Other fruit had never been so unappealing and though they'd been tempting before, I had no interest in anyone else. But I still wasn't sure what exactly it was between Eren and I.

I could be totally devoted to him, but commitment was another matter entirely. I didn't want him thinking that I was going to just intentionally hurt him, or string him along while I had my way with anyone I pleased. Though I couldn't really say that I didn't usually go about things that way, it was different with Eren. We were friends first and I was never friends with anyone I fucked before.

For the first time in my life, I wanted someone else to be happy. I wanted to make him happy. That was one reason I gave in and gifted him that book he wanted so badly—even though I'd held out because of my own petty feelings. It was worth it knowing how happy he was and I knew it shouldn't bother me if he liked somebody else's writing so much. Maybe one day I could change his mind and I would be his favorite. I'd strive for it and see how things went.

We stayed in bed half the day and I may have gotten a little carried away. We were both in need of a shower, Eren more-so a bath so he could soak and relax but the power had yet to come back on. He was spent, limbs weakly tangled with mine. Half asleep and so adorable I couldn't stand it, but I felt a little guilty for draining him so much. I couldn't cook but I knew he needed food, so I got up to get something for him. I knew he was out of it when he didn't even complain at me leaving.

Coffee would have been nice but that was also out of the question. I made us both a sandwich, trying not to open the refrigerator more than I had to. There was no telling when the power would come back on and it was still storming. I got grapes and water too, returning to the room to find him unmoved. I carried everything to the bed and sat down, running my hand over his side.

"You need to eat." I told him, wanting him to gain some energy. He could sleep after and I wouldn't complain.

He hummed at the sound of my voice, blinking his eyes open. "What is it?" He asked sleepily.

"I made you a sandwich. Get up and eat it." I couldn't have him dying on me.

"Oh." He yawned and stretched before sitting up. "Thanks."

I handed his sandwich to him and slid the grapes closer to him before popping one in my mouth. I felt a lot better when he started eating, finishing it all and his water too just like a good boy. I finished mine off as well and then cleaned everything off the bed to get back in my spot next to him. We took a nap, not waking up until it was already getting dark. Eren finally trudged out of bed and I went around the house, pulling out all the extra candles I had put away.

I lit some in various places and then sat on the couch to smoke a cigarette when Eren came padding from the hallway, rubbing his eyes. There was no way he could still be tired, surely. He walked over to the couch and plopped down, laying his head in my lap.

"Are you okay?" I asked, needing to see his usual peppiness before I could drop the concern I felt. I would really have to learn to control myself.

"I'm alright." He said and looked up at me with a smile. "It's just the rain, makes me sleepy."

So it wasn't me then. "That's… understandable." I nodded to myself, glad that I hadn't almost killed him. But we really couldn't fuck anymore… today.

"We should do something. I need to move around a bit." He said and then added, "Other than going at it like rabbits."

I rather liked going at it like rabbits, but I wasn't going to bring it up. "What do you want to do?" I asked before taking a draw off my cigarette.

"Well," He said, thinking for a moment. "What if we blew out the candles and played hide and seek in this huge house?"

"With you blind?" I snorted. "I'd be hiding for days… or until the power comes back on at least."

His smile widened and his teal-green eyes lit up. "You want to bet?"

I laughed, finding the whole thing ridiculous but funny. "I won't hide for more than half an hour. Seriously. If you don't find me, you forfeit and have to do whatever I want."

"Deal." He said and got up. "You get the candles on the second floor and I'll get the first. When we're done, I'll count to fifteen and the game is on."

"Fifteen?" I scoffed as I stubbed out my cigarette. "Make it sixty."

"Okay, okay. Sixty." He chuckled.

"Alright." I got up, unable to believe I was actually doing this.

I jogged upstairs to blow out all the candles and then met him back downstairs. It got dark with all the candles out, but my eyes adjusted quickly. Eren decided to sit on the couch to do his counting and I'd already decided where I was going to hide. I made my way upstairs silently and wandered into the laundry room. I hid behind the washing machine and dryer, sitting on the floor and resting against the wall, scowling when I found some dust. It was a good choice to hide here, finding this mess so I could clean it later.

It was quiet for awhile until I heard faint thuds followed by Eren cursing. When he got close I could hear him walking around, but he never entered the room. He passed the door a few times in his search before I heard Luther meow and Eren yelp.

"Luther!" He whisper yelled. "Damn it, you scared me. I've got this floor covered, okay? You go look downstairs."

I rolled my eyes but smiled softly as I listened to him. He was really silly and I really liked it. For a long time I heard him walking around and my smile widened when I heard him walk into the laundry room.

"Hmm." Eren mused quietly, rustling around a bit. "Levi, if you're in here, don't say anything."

So ridiculous. I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing but managed not to make a peep.

"Man, he isn't in here either." He huffed. "I've cracked a joke in nearly every room in the house . . . where did he go?" He asked himself. "I should check the first floor again."

I listened to him leave the room, smiling fondly. This was really so childish and yet strangely enjoyable. I stayed hidden in my place, even after a half an hour had long passed. I knew eventually he would start stressing and he was probably already expecting me to come out. I'd gotten quite comfy against the wall and just sat there, eyes closed as I listened out for him.

It wasn't long before he was causing a ruckus. "Leviiii!" He called. "Where are you? Come out, come out." He said as he walked down the hall. "Don't you dare jump out and scare me."

I definitely wasn't going to try and scare him, but I didn't plan to come out at all anyway. I knew he'd never find me because I had to climb behind the machines so he'd never expect to find me hidden behind them. Eventually I would have to give it up, but I wanted to enjoy it for a while longer.

"What is this sorcery? How can he be so good at this?" Eren asked out loud. "Levi, why are you still hiding?" He bumped into something and cursed again. "I swear to god this table is moving!"

Poor thing. He was being extra cute so there was no way I was coming out. I kept quiet and crossed my arms as I rested my head back against the wall.

"Are you planning something?" Eren asked, voice further away. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? I can feel it."

Well, he was spot on. I'd have to tell him later how right he was. But for now, I had to hide and keep quiet—both of which were easy.

There was another meow, this time right outside the door. "Luther, you are no help. What good is your night vision if you can't find him either?" Eren complained and Luther meowed again. "Don't use that tone with me, at least I'm doing something."

He was making it hard to keep quiet, but I knew he was doing it on purpose and there was no way in hell I was going to give in. It was a very cute attempt though. When he gave up and went back downstairs again, I figured I might as well come out. He was never going to find me and it was only fair that he got to hide from me as well. So, I climbed over the washing machine and left the laundry room. It had gotten even darker now but I wandered down the stairs without bumping into anything like Eren had been doing. I heard him down the hallway and left him to his search, going to sit on the couch and smoke. I lit the candle on the table beside me and closed my eyes as I waited for him to find me.

Soon enough Eren followed the light and came rushing around the couch, a look of disbelief on his face. "You-what-how did you get there?!"

"I walked." I stated simply and then added, "Got tired of hiding… and you owe me."

"Well I didn't know you were a master!" He exclaimed.

"Ooh. Master?" I wasn't aware either… but I liked it. "Come here." I beckoned him over, putting out my cigarette.

He pouted, but walked over anyway. "Are you at least going to tell me where you were hiding?"

"No way." I laughed and grabbed his hand and tugged until he sat down beside me. "Can't go ruining the mystery."

"I'll figure it out one day." He said and got comfy. "Alright, you won. But don't think I'll never ask for a rematch."

"Do you still want to hide?" I asked as I wrapped my arm around him and leaned back some more, pulling him with me.

He grinned and leaned further against me. "Yes. Bring it."

"Okay. I'll count to sixty." I said, ruffling his hair before reaching over for the candle and blowing it out.

Eren ran off as if he wasn't worried about keeping quiet and I counted slowly, keeping my eyes closed and resting on the couch until I finished. I got up, not in any rush to find him but I still searched the house thoroughly. It ended up being only a few minutes when I walked by a closet upstairs and heard him snickering inside of it. What a dork. I debated for a moment on whether I should find him or not. I didn't want him to be upset at me finding him so quickly but then again… I was the master at this game. He said so himself.

I stopped where I was, looking directly at the closet. I didn't need to open the door to know he was inside. "Eren… if you're up here… don't say anything."

I heard his muffled laughter, no doubt trying to hold it in. My lips pulled apart in a grin as I strode over to the closet door and opened it slowly. He was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up and his hands over his mouth.

"Found you."

"Uh, I'm not here." He tried when he lowered his hands, a smile on his face.

"Oh… then I give up I guess." I said and moved to get in the closet beside him.

He made room for me once he realized what I was doing, another laugh bubbling up. "You give up? So we're one and one."

"Yeah. But you still owe me." I chuckled.

"You're right, I do." He agreed. "What do you want me to do?"

I leaned over, brushing my lips across his ear and smiling when he stiffened. "Just a kiss."

"Yeah?" He asked, sounding surprised but pleased. "You got it."

He turned his head and brought one hand up to cup my face, mouth softly pressing against mine in a chaste kiss. He pecked my lips a few times before going to the corner of my mouth and up my cheek. He started trailing kisses all over my face before placing one more to my lips.

"How's that?" He asked. "I gave you a discount."

I laughed and slid my hand up his chest, grabbing hold of his shirt and tugging him on top of me. "More." I told him simply, grip tight on his shirt. "That wasn't even close to being good enough."

"What is this disrespect?" He asked and threaded his fingers in my hair. "I'll show you."

Eren stuck out his tongue and licked, wetly caressing my mouth. Then he sucked my bottom lip hard and bit it before letting go. His head tilted as he went back in, pressing firmly down. He kept it like for a little bit and then deepened it with the slide of his tongue, eagerly seeking my own. He took his time running it up and down to get a nice long taste. He hummed in satisfaction, starting to suck in order to taste more. It was slow and sinful with gentle tugs on my hair every now and then. Minutes ticked by before he got rougher, turning the kiss hard and desperate. He took away every breath I let out and frantically swirled his tongue around as if he was afraid I would disappear. The crashing of our mouths only stopped when he took my bottom lip between his teeth again, biting much harder than before and drawing blood that he greedily sucked and licked.

Holding tighter to him, I groaned and wrapped my legs around his, forcing him to grind down on me. He let go of my abused lip as he gasped, but soon dove right back in. He rocked his hips against me with sharp and precise movements. Breathless sounds came from his throat, the temperature in the closet seeming to rise. The kiss was broken again, but only so he could turn his attention to my neck. He trailed bites up and down the column of my skin, pulling my shirt down to nip at my collar bones.

I moved my hands up to his hair and pulled roughly, forcing his mouth away from me with a growl. "Stop."

"I thought you liked it." He said smugly.

Of course I did… but I didn't want to fuck him again. "Don't make that fucking face. We both know if I fuck you again today you'll be out of it for all of tomorrow too so don't piss me off."

"Then can I suck you off?" He asked and moved his hand down between us to grab me through my pants.

I hissed, not sure if it was his words or his hand on me that affected me the most. "Are you fucking serious?" He was insane.

"Yeah, I want to." He said, starting to palm me through my clothes.

I didn't know what I was going to do with this guy but I damn sure wasn't going to deny him. I let him do as he pleased, nearly losing my mind in the process and we didn't end up making it out of the closet until hours later. We passed out in my bed and slept hard, both grateful when we woke up and the power was back on. I feared if it had been out any longer, we would have killed ourselves.

Eren and I were both eager to shower and get cleaned up. I cooked a heavy meal for us and while Eren finally started reading the book, I started writing again. Luther seemed unbothered by the power having been out and even now did nothing but laze around my feet. It had been a couple hours since he started reading and I wasn't sure if Eren even knew where I was or what I was doing. I couldn't believe he was that engrossed in that book but I didn't care. Not really.

It did feel a bit strange sitting at my desk with my lap empty so I ended up picking Luther up and he was more than happy about it. I scratched his head for a while before returning to my story. There were some major details I needed to flesh out, so I was writing in my notebook instead, needing to get everything straight before I could move ahead where I was.

While I was writing and thinking over some of the minor plot points, my phone started vibrating and I glanced at it. When I saw it was Riku texting me, I already knew there was an event happening sometime tonight. He always let me know last minute. I picked up my phone and opened the text that had a link about the event. It was open mic night and I thought about it for a moment. It had been a while since I'd attended one and I hadn't written anything fresh in a long while. Though I did have a good amount of poems sitting around.

I texted him back, letting him know I'd be there so I'd have my spot and then got up from my desk. Carrying Luther in my arms, I walked to my bookshelf and grabbed my notebook that had all my poems in it, or the ones that were worth anything anyway. Then I went in search of Eren, finding him on the couch. He'd finished reading and was sitting there with a torn look on his face. I knew the open ending of the book probably was the cause of the look he had but I didn't have time to question him about it.

"I'm going out. Do you want to come or not?" He certainly didn't have to come, but I wasn't going to leave without offering.

"I'll come along." He said and got up, stretching before he added, "Where are we going?"

"Open mic night. So get changed. We need to leave in fifteen minutes." I said and then let Luther down, leaving to go to my room and get out of my pajama pants.

I dressed in something casual but nice, a pair of faded jeans and a light blue button up shirt. Once I was ready, I went to the living room with my notebook and grabbed the keys to my car. I would probably have a few drinks so I'd rather drive the car than my bike. Eren came from his room not long after me, wearing dark blue jeans and a dark green turtleneck. He hurried to the door and got his shoes on and then followed me out the back door. I locked up the house and then the two of us got in the car. I was glad to be getting out of the house, it was always inspiring to hear the words other people put on paper but I needed to figure out which of my own poems I would use.

Eren talked about the book on the ride, pouring out his feelings about the ending, letting me know that it had indeed bothered him. Not that he didn't like it but just it left so many possibilities open and his imagination was running wild. He never brought up the fact that we were leaving the house together to go somewhere other than school. He never asked me anything. He just raved about that book and I tried not to let it get to me, telling myself that he was just excited. She was his favorite author, of course he would be excited.

When we arrived at the small club, I cut the engine and got out of the car with my notebook. While I waited for my turn and sat in between readings, I'd skim through it and figure out which poem to go with. Eren had grown quiet when he had nothing else to say about that damn book and I didn't bother saying anything to him as I led the way inside. Riku was at the door and he grinned at me when I entered. He always was cheeky and it was annoying.

"Levi, you made it." He said, beaming at me.

"I said I was coming." I muttered as I signed myself in and wrote Eren's name beside mine.

Riku looked at Eren in wonder, grinning at him. "You're with Levi? What the hell…"

"What's it to you?" I asked, glaring at him for coming at Eren. He needed to mind his own business.

Riku shrugged, still grinning from ear to ear. "Relax, it's just that I'm a little jealous. Nothing serious."

"I can see that you weren't." Eren muttered under his breath, looking away in mild irritation.

I sighed and pushed him forward by his shoulder, scowling at Riku. "Don't be annoying." I said as I started to walk away.

"Me? Never. I'll come see you when it starts." He called from the door and I grimaced.

Eren and I walked down the small hallway before making it into the darkened room. There was a calming tune coming from a guitar on stage, but I was still anxious about the sour look on Eren's face. I didn't regret bringing him… yet… but I knew how Riku was and I was fully aware that he'd be here so I supposed I could only be mad at myself. When we picked a table and sat down, I watched Eren as he looked at me, a look of excitement taking over his features.

"Do you like poetry?" I asked, thankful that he wasn't mad at me.

"I've never dove into it before, but yes. There are always so many different ways to interpret them and the flow is so elegant." He said. "This is a first for me though, I've never been to a place like this. Am I allowed to clap or do I snap or something?"

I laughed as I opened my notebook and looked down to the first page. "No clapping." I told him, needing to skim over these pages quickly. I didn't know what I was going to use or how soon my turn would come.

"Shame." Eren sighed and picked up the small menu, glancing at the drinks to see if they didn't have anything too strong.

A server stopped by our table and I asked for a drink even though I was busy going through my pages. So many options and yet so many of them unworthy. I used to hate these readings and the emotions that came with them, but I learned that I had a knack for it and it was rather enjoyable so I would attend on occasion. It wasn't long after our drinks arrived that Riku stepped on the stage and greeted the room, announcing the featured poets and the lineup. There were five people ahead of me, so I still had some time but I wanted to make a choice so I wouldn't be distracted during the other readings.

Eren's head snapped back towards me after he heard my name, a smile forming on his lips. "You didn't tell me you were going to throw down."

I raised a brow before looking back at my notebook. "Throw down?" He would never fail to amuse me.

"You know, show off your skills." He explained. "But I can't even clap for you . . . how am I supposed to be the loudest?"

It was amazing that he could be so lame and so cute at the same time. "That's not necessary. Clapping kills the vibe but there's usually an applause once all the readings have finished."

"That's not the same." He complained. "I'll just have to tell you what I think when you get done."

"Yeah." I agreed, liking the thought. My eyes stayed on my notebook and I sighed, always struggling.

"Hand it over." Riku said, suddenly standing right beside me and just as I looked up from my notebook it was swiped off the table.

"Damn it, Riku." I scoffed and he snickered.

"You can never make a decision." He said knowingly as he flipped through the pages, his eyes reading over poem after poem. "Oh, here we go." He laid the notebook in front of me, pointing at the poem on the page with a grin on his face. "It's perfect."

I read over it but he was an expert and I couldn't argue. "Fine." I sighed and swatted his hand off the table. "You can go now."

"No way." He whined and pulled out the extra chair but I kicked it from behind him when he moved to sit down. "Levi!" He pouted, having barely caught himself from falling on his ass.

"I believe you've imposed enough." I grumbled and he rolled his eyes.

"You're really going to treat me this way?"

It was nothing unusual. Okay, maybe it was a little more aggressive… because I didn't want him around Eren. "Yes. So get lost."

"Why can't we all be friends?" He frowned and reached towards my face but I smacked his hand out of the way.

"He can join us." Eren spoke up and shot Riku a smile. "Riku, right? Come sit here by me."

I scowled at Eren, curious as to what he thought he was doing but Riku just grinned and took the offered seat even though I knew he didn't want to be sitting next to Eren. This whole night could go to shit quick and I wasn't sure how to feel.

"So, Eren, right? How long have you known my Levi?"

Eren raised a brow, but his smile never faltered. "It's hard to say, time keeps flying by. You know how it is when you're constantly around someone, the days all run together."

It didn't matter how much smiling was going on, the atmosphere had turned hostile and I crossed my legs, trying not to let them piss me off but I was having a hard time keeping it together.

"Impressive. Though it hasn't been that long really, has it?" Riku taunted him, chuckling.

Eren leaned back in his seat, leaning his arm over the back as he tilted his head. "You're putting me on the spot here, but I'll try to give you an estimate. Let's see . . . probably ever since the last time you saw him, whenever that was. He hasn't been around anyone else since we got close, I'm actually concerned that his friend circle keeps getting smaller and smaller. He's not very social."

I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

"No, he's not." Riku agreed with a laugh. "He just likes to fuck a lot. Doesn't he?"

"Riku." I snapped, glaring at him.

"I have to give it to him, Levi, he has a point." Eren said and smirked at me. "Though I'm certainly not complaining."

I turned my glare to Eren, completely fed up with this situation. "Both of you shut up already." I told them, the second poet already taking the stage. I was here to enjoy this, not listen to them go at each other and talk about me.

Eren pouted but didn't say anything more while Riku laughed but kept his mouth shut as well. I didn't look back at either of them, focusing on the reading currently being done. My mood started to lighten as I listened and watched intently. All of the readers before me were amazing and I was glad that they gave me an escape from my current frustrations.

It wasn't long at all it seemed before my turn came and I didn't spare Eren or Riku a glance before taking the stage. I knew my poem by heart, all of them and I wasn't anxious at all about performing the reading for the room. The sound of the guitar was soothing and I recited my poem without issue. It was on the angsty side but most of mine were. When I finished I left the stage and returned to my seat, trying to ignore the huge grin on Eren's face.

"You've been holding out on me!" He accused and reached over to grab my hand. "That was amazing, Levi." He said and looked like he wanted to say more, but he held back.

"Thanks." I said quietly, mindful of the next reader taking the stage.

"He's always been amazing." Riku sighed.

Eren hummed, attention solely on me as he squeezed my hand. "You're right about that."

The soft look of admiration in his eyes made my heart skip a beat and I squeezed his hand back in return. He was so cute and I was taken with him completely, easily forgetting the reading that was going on as I stared into his eyes. I didn't even notice when Riku had left the table until I heard his loud voice coming from the stage. The readings had finished and a round of applause sounded throughout the room, but I didn't release Eren's hand so he could join in.

I did finish my drink, deciding we shouldn't hang around. It was nice being out of the house, but I couldn't trust Riku around Eren. Hell, I couldn't trust him period.

"You ready to get out of here?" I asked as he sipped on his own drink.

"Yeah." He nodded and stood. "When we get home I want you to talk poem to me." He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

I shook my head, smiling at that as I stood next to him and dropped some money on the table. "What am I gonna do with you?" I was saying as we walked out of the room and down the hallway towards the exit. Then I heard someone running up behind us and my face fell, already knowing it was Riku.

"Levi, wait!" He called breathlessly and I sighed before looking back over my shoulder at him. "You're not waiting for the announcement?"

"No. I'm finished." I said, not caring about the announcements at all.

Riku frowned for once in his life and looked confused. "Well I'll just tell you now then. We agreed to name you headliner for the main reading next month. Your poem won. I picked the right one, huh?"

I looked away from him and sighed again. "Give it to someone else. I'm not interested." I said plainly before walking away again, ignoring Riku's whines coming from behind me. I knew he wouldn't let it go and I would be hearing from him again, but I didn't care.

Pulling Eren to my car, I unlocked the door and we both got in. I took a deep breath as I started the car. "I'm sorry about him." I told Eren before bothering to pull out of the parking lot. Even though I enjoyed these open mic nights, a part of me wished I wouldn't have come.

"I could have handled it differently, but he was getting on my nerves." He confessed. "It doesn't matter anyway, I'm not worried about him. Tonight was about you. Reading the words you write is great, but hearing you say them? I was honestly blown away." He said, the last part coming out quiet as a blush tinted his cheeks.

I reached over to take hold of his hand as I finally left the parking lot, glad that he'd enjoyed it. "It's really not a big deal."

"It is for me." He insisted, holding my hand happily. "I haven't brought it up because I didn't want to put any pressure on you, but I'm really excited for the novel you're working on right now. I've been itching to read more of your works."

The sincerity in his voice had my stomach fluttering and I forced myself not to look away from the road to him. "You can read anything I write… anytime." I told him quietly.

"Really?" He asked, excitement evident in his voice. "You don't mind?"

"No." I admitted. "I actually… it makes me happy that you want to read them."

Eren put his other hand over our threaded fingers. "You're a brilliant writer, Levi. I thought that the first time I read your story and every time after."

My brows furrowed in confusion. How many times had he read it? "You've… read it more than once?" I asked, trying not to let his compliment get to me. But I couldn't dim my excitement.

"Uh . . . well . . . I might have gone into your study and reread it while you were sleeping." He said sheepishly. "But I didn't look at anything else! I just couldn't resist reading it again. On multiple occasions. Sorry."

Did he really like it enough to want to read it more than once… and even more than that? It was hard for me to believe. "But why?" I asked in wonder. Why would he want to read it again?

"Because it's one of my favorites." He said fondly, as if it was obvious.

One of his favorites? I figured it must have been because he liked me but couldn't bring myself to ask. If he wanted to read it or anything I wrote, that was fine. I didn't mind. He was the only one. My stories were private, even if I did share my poems sometimes I would never share my stories with anyone else. So, knowing the only person I had let read one of them actually liked them-for whatever reason-really made me happy.

We made it home not long after our conversation ended, mainly because I couldn't say anything else. I was at a loss. It was late by the time we walked inside and my phone was vibrating in my pocket, but I didn't bother checking it because I knew who it was. The weekend was upon us, even though school had been out anyway thanks to the weather so we didn't have much to worry about. Having the sudden urge to write, I went into the kitchen and started some coffee. Eren had knelt down to play with Luther and was still doing so by the time I'd gotten my cup filled.

I walked over to them, looking down at the silly grin on Eren's face. "I'm going to write. Are you going to bed?"

"Yeah, in a bit." He answered.

"Okay." I said, wondering what he was going to do before then.

Once I was inside my study, I sat down at my desk, powered on my computer and skimmed over my notes from earlier. I'd managed to figure out most of what I needed to and enough to keep writing for now. I was already several chapters in and close to resolving most of the conflicts, though I had to go back and edit some things along the way. My timeline was my worst enemy but I worked on it enough to keep it straight, making endless notes on every little detail so nothing contradicted itself.

After about ten minutes of writing, Eren came into the room with a blanket and was dressed in his pajamas. He padded over to me and got in my lap, fixing the blanket over his shoulders until he was satisfied. Then he rested his face in my neck and closed his eyes with a content sigh. He was always getting on me in the same position, seeming to be more comfortable like this than any other way. I knew it wouldn't be long before he fell asleep like this, but I didn't understand why he preferred to sleep on me instead of getting in the bed. He was cozy for sure, already breathing softly. I almost wished that I wasn't so comfortable with this closeness, but I was.

There was no issue returning to my writing but it wasn't long after Eren had drifted off that I stopped, letting my arms wrap around him. I was comfortable too, he put me at ease. He made me forget about everything else and I hated it. I hated it because I liked it so much. Why did he mean so much to me? Maybe I would always be confused, but I wasn't going to fight it. I was completely content and ended up drifting off as well right in my seat, holding onto him and never wanting to let go.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine- Eren**

The feeling of something vibrating roused me from my deep sleep, my body warm and relaxed in Levi's arms. It took me a moment to realize Levi was asleep, the steady rise and fall of his chest lulling me into a doze. The vibrating happened again and I blinked my eyes halfway open in irritation. _What is that?_ I could feel it against my thigh and put two and two together, wondering why Levi hadn't put his phone on silent. I lazily reached into his pocket, mindful enough not to wake him, and pulled his phone out. I pressed the button on the side to stop the vibrating and closed my eyes again with his phone resting loosely in my hand. The damn thing went off again and this time I was awake enough to decide to put it on silent myself. Who was it that kept messaging him anyway? I brought his phone out from under the blanket and looked at the screen, swiping my thumb to unlock it.

A whole bunch of text messages popped up from the same number and I rolled my eyes at the caller ID, Riku. By now it was obvious that Levi slept around before he met me, apparently a lot. They were pretty attached to him and desperate for attention. I understood, sex with Levi was addicting, but it still pissed me off. It didn't matter what they thought, I didn't share. They would have to learn quickly that they needed to find dick somewhere else. Although, the fact that Levi didn't get rid of their numbers was like a slap in the face. He was rejecting their advances, but was keeping the option to fuck them open as if all they had to do was wait. If this was how he always acted then no wonder they were so persistent. I clicked my tongue as I read over the most recent messages, the last one pushing me over the edge.

'_Since you won't reply I guess you kept your company for the night. I miss you. Let me come see you soon.'_

I knew Levi was more than capable of handling things on his own, he didn't need me to step in. That was something I could understand and I had tried to let him do that at the club. However, Riku was really getting under my skin and rather than get ugly, I had tried the 'kill them with kindness' approach. Maybe I shouldn't have got involved, but was it that wrong to say something when someone was hitting on your lover? I had always told people to back off when it happened in my other relationships and I wasn't the type to ignore them and hope they gave up. I wasn't trying to be difficult, but if someone couldn't take a hint then I would help them understand the situation. Not everyone liked that and I could respect their preference, but that was the kind of person I am. I don't back away from confrontation and sometimes my temper got the better of me. I typed a response to Riku before putting Levi's phone on silent, sliding it back into his pocket.

'_Piss off - your friend, Eren'_

I wouldn't ever get mad at Levi for other people's behavior, he never once gave me a reason to doubt his words that I was the only one he wanted. Although, I was angry at his own behavior. Yes I was the one he wanted and yes I believed him, but I was the only one he wanted right now. That could change in the future and as much as I hated to admit it his track record was proof of that. I didn't know what would happen as time went by and I didn't have the assurance of calling him my boyfriend out loud. Perhaps this was it, this was how I would know.

Levi wasn't the type to say certain things out loud, but I would know through his actions. If he got rid of all these numbers then he was ready to take a chance on me, he was ready to have a real relationship. If he kept them then he didn't think I was worth that chance and wanted to keep his options open. I wasn't sure when I would ask him to delete the phone numbers, but I wouldn't feel bad about it. He would have to make a decision and based on that I could make mine. It was more than fair, I had been waiting for a while now and I was still waiting. When I thought the time was right, I would ask him and make sure he knew what it meant.

For the moment, I settled against him and went back to sleep. I wanted to be with Levi, I really did, but I couldn't be sure his intentions would reflect my own. That was why I had also kept an option open, an option to leave the situation. The only reason I still had my apartment despite practically living here was because I needed to know that this wasn't temporary. I needed to know my place here wouldn't be taken away. We spent time together for the rest of the weekend like we always did and I pushed my question to the back of my mind, Levi never mentioning my text to Riku. It was always nice spending time around the house, but the trip to the club made me want to do other things with Levi. Part of it was because I wanted to enjoy more things with him and the other was because I wanted to go on some dates. I was a bit of a romantic, it was only natural. I hadn't brought it up during the weekend, but I hoped to do something next weekend and talk with him about it after class.

Monday morning Levi drove us to school on his motorcycle, getting us there right on time as usual. We walked to english together and I took my seat next to him, having long moved one seat over after I started living in his house. The day seemed to drag on and I was eager for it to end. During my second class I had gotten the urge to go to the bookstore, a visit long overdue. It wasn't far and I was sure Levi wouldn't mind joining me. I was relieved when lunch time came because that meant I was done for the day. I took my usual seat next to Mikasa and across from Armin, wondering if I could ever persuade Levi to sit with us one day. Probably not. I still had to fess up to Mikasa, but I was putting that off as long as possible.

"We should do something, all three of us." Mikasa stated as I started eating my food.

"Yeah, we hardly see each other outside of school these days." Armin agreed, giving me a pointed look.

I knew what the look was for, but I ignored it. So what if I spent most of my time with Levi, we were a thing. "How about on friday?" I suggested, wanting to hang out but keep the weekend open for Levi.

"The movies. We always have fun there." Mikasa said, her face calm though I could see the excitement in her eyes.

I smiled softly at her and nodded. "Sounds like a plan, let's do it."

"I'm in." Armin said without hesitation.

"Alright. I'll text you both with the details and pick you up friday." Mikasa said and I faltered for a moment, but Armin chimed in and changed the topic.

I silently thanked him and helped move the conversation along. I would have to make sure to be at my apartment when she showed up, otherwise it was all over and she would figure it out like Armin had. We talked about our classes and a little about what we had been up to, but I didn't go into much detail in regards to anything outside of school. After lunch, I called Levi and let him know I was going to stop by the bookstore down the street before we headed home. He was attending an after class session that one of the professors were holding about literature and the different techniques so he couldn't come along. We would meet up at his bike later once we were both finished.

I hurried along the sidewalk, impatient to see what was new and what I never knew existed. This was the perfect time to expand my book collection. The doorbell rang as I stepped inside the store and I didn't waste any time going down the aisles. I spent some time picking out different books and reading the summaries, carrying the ones that interested me. I debated on whether I should read them first or go ahead and buy them and read it at home, I didn't want to waste money on something I didn't like. On the other hand, I wanted to save them and look forward to reading them later. I argued with myself as the number of books I carried increased. Even if I read the first few chapters it didn't guarantee I would like the ending, I was a sucker for happy endings.

About an hour later, I still hadn't decided and had seven books that I narrowed it down to. They had been the ones I wanted to read the most and I put the ones that only slightly interested me back on the shelves, not wanting to go overboard. _Why is this so hard?_

I stared at the stack of books on the table, trying to make up my mind when someone called my name. I turned my head to the familiar voice and my stomach coiled as I was overcome with mixed emotions.

"Jean." I greeted, trying my best to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"It's been a while." He smiled as he stood beside me. "How are you? You're still in college, right?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm doing pretty well." I said and mentally cringed at this small talk. We knew each other better than this, didn't we? Then again, I supposed a lot of things have changed. "What have you been up to?"

He shrugged. "Same old same old, still working up at the dealership."

I snorted at that. "I'm not surprised, you always did know how to persuade people into doing what you wanted." I said, not really thinking about my words until his expression changed.

"Apparently not the ones that mattered." He said and I hoped he left it at that. I didn't want to go digging up the past, it was pointless indulging in those memories. "You look good. The years have been kind to you."

"Jean." I sighed. "Don't. Just . . . don't."

"I know . . ." He muttered and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Eren, I only wanted to come and say hi . . . apologize for how things ended . . . I saw you and couldn't let the chance pass me by."

I understood where he was coming from, but I couldn't say I felt the same. I wasn't interested in being friends even if I didn't want to be mean to him. "We were young . . . and stubborn. But my feelings haven't changed. I accept your apology and I'm sorry too . . . let's leave it at that."

"We were great together, you know." He told me, not letting it go. I knew there was another reason he came to talk to me. "Even now, is it still impossible for you? Would you be willing to try?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you. Besides, I'm already with someone." I said and picked up the stack of books, choosing to buy them after all. "It's good to see you're doing well. Take care."

I walked away, half expecting him to try and stop me, but he didn't. I paid for my books and left the bookstore. I walked back to school, thoughts of the past swimming through my head without my permission. Things with Jean and I had been good, we were high school sweethearts. We might have bumped heads from time to time, but I thought we could always reach an understanding. Jean could be arrogant and unpleasant to deal with when he didn't get his way, but he really cared about people even though he tried to pretend otherwise. He was a good guy and my friend as well as my lover. However, he wasn't like my other relationships. He was the only person I had been with that switched. Sometimes he bottomed and sometimes he topped, but I wouldn't let him top me.

It always came up during sex when the mood struck him. He tried to take control and I wasn't having it. It wasn't like I didn't give him a chance, but it just didn't work out. I didn't get excited and I didn't feel that desire to give myself to him in that way. I hadn't liked it and I thought he would respect my feelings. I thought he understood, but he kept bringing it up and pushing me. He said I was being selfish, that I didn't really care about him because I refused to do it. Then I said how he was trying to force me into doing something I didn't want and it kept going from there. The arguments became more frequent and the words more hurtful. When I had reached my breaking point, I broke it off with him and he hadn't protested. It was over just like that and we never looked back. At least, I didn't. He was still harboring unresolved feelings and right off the bat asked if it was still impossible, if I still wouldn't bottom for him. It had taken everything in me not to lose my temper. We weren't even friends anymore and he had the nerve to ask me that? He wanted me back, but he wanted to see if I had changed first. Well fuck him.

I had moved on a long time ago and there was no way in hell I was going to bottom for anyone other than Levi. I couldn't do it if wasn't with him, I was sure of it. The thrill that went down my spine every time he flipped me on my back, the way my heart pounded when he touched me, it was impossible to recreate. No one could make me feel the way Levi did. I wanted him to take me apart over and over again and I wanted to drive him insane. The chemistry and dynamic we had was special, it wasn't something I could even hope to find with someone else. I walked into the school parking lot and spotted Levi by his bike, smoking a cigarette. A smile appeared on my face without a second thought, as if it was automatic. He turned his head to me, blue-grey eyes zeroing in on my form and a wave of heat passed through me. No, I was certain I couldn't find this anywhere else.

"Hey. You find something good?" He flashed me a smile as his eyes went to the bag in my hand.

"I found seven of these bad boys." I chuckled, my mood brightening drastically. "How was that session?

"Educational." He answered and put on his helmet before getting on his bike. "You ready to go home?"

"Yeah." I said, placing the other helmet on my head and hopping on behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tight. "Alright, let's go!"

Levi revved the engine before taking off, speeding out of the parking lot. I called dibs on Levi's computer when we got home so I could read some of his other works. He tended to Luther while I read for a bit, editing as I went along. I fixed any typos I came across, but didn't tell him about it in fear of another notebook ripping meltdown. He came into the study and ushered me out of his seat before I could get carried away and sat down to start writing. I got dinner going and grabbed one of my new books, taking my spot in Levi's lap to read. I got up from time to time to check on the food and brought up going out this weekend while we ate. We didn't decide what to do just yet, but he agreed to it. I had forgotten about the movies on friday until we were getting ready for bed later that night. Levi had just gotten out of the shower while I was already showered and dressed in my pajamas.

"So Friday I have to head to my apartment, Mikasa is picking me up to go to the movies." I told him as I hopped in bed, throwing the covers over me.

"Oh? Alright." He said as he stepped into his briefs and then came to get in bed beside me. "When are you coming back?"

"Depends, we might go out to eat after." I said and latched myself onto his side. "I would say that same night by the lastest. It shouldn't be too crazy."

"Okay." He said thoughtfully.

I raised my hand up to his hair and began massaging his head. "I would invite you, but I don't think you would enjoy it." Even though it was supposed to be just the three of us, I would have brought him along if he wanted to go. It would be a good way to slowly introduce him to Mikasa.

"Don't worry about me. Go have fun with your friends." He said, humming softly at my touch.

I smiled and closed my eyes, still massaging his head. "Alright. Make sure you eat something while I'm gone, can't have you starving when you're in writing mode."

"I'll be fine." He grumbled.

"I'm leaving Luther in charge." I teased.

"Oh really? Not so sure that's a good idea. Though I suppose he could keep your spot warm while you're gone."

I knew he only said that to make me jealous and it was working. "He has the whole house to sit on and a very expensive cat bed, I'm sure he can survive without doing that." He'd done so thus far.

"You don't want my lap feeling empty though, do you?" He pouted.

"No . . . but I want to be the only one to fill it." I said and moved my hand down to massage the back of his neck instead.

Levi sighed in approval before responding. "Well if you're not here… somebody else has to do it."

"You're not making this easy on me, are you?" I mused and gave in. "Fine, I give Luther permission. But he better not sass me when I come home and take my spot back."

"I don't know… he might be more spoiled than you by then." He grinned.

I looked up at him at that. "What do you mean? Are you planning to give him special treatment while I'm gone?"

"Guess you'll never know."

"Well that's unfair." I said and settled back down. "I want some of that . . . and might give you some in return."

"Too bad. You're not getting any." He snorted and moved his head to nibble at my neck.

I giggled and threaded my fingers back in his hair. "I see how it is. You refuse to play favorites, huh?"

"I think we both know you get more attention than Luther. And that's not really fair to him."

"I know, I know. I'm greedy." I said and curled my other arm around his waist. "I'll just have to share you then."

He breathed deeply, wrapping his arms around me in return. "Go to sleep."

I hummed and closed my eyes again, letting sleep come gradually. The rest of the week went by peacefully. Levi and I talked about what we would do for the weekend and Mikasa and Armin were excited for the three of us to spend some time together. I was really pumped for it myself and couldn't wait to see the movie we decided on. It had mystery for Armin, Mikasa's favorite actress and action for me. Although the anticipation of hanging out with them made me think of how long it had been since we last did it, how much they meant to me and that I missed them. It made me feel guilty. Levi had become such a big part of my life, yet I was hiding it from one of my best friends. Mikasa didn't deserve having me lie to her even if she would lose her shit once she found out. I needed to think of a way to tell her and soon, but I wouldn't ruin the day with making her upset.

Levi drove me to my apartment thirty minutes before Mikasa was supposed to be there. I put my helmet on the back of his motorcycle after I got off and he cut the engine.

"Do you want to come up?" I asked, realizing he had never stepped foot inside my place before.

"Sure." He said as he got off the bike and took his own helmet off. "Have you lived here long?"

"For three years now, almost four." I answered as I led him into the building. "The offer was too good to pass up and it was close to school. A lucky find for me."

We walked inside and he slid his hands in his pockets as he looked around for a moment. "It's a nice place."

"You haven't seen anything yet." I smiled. Once we reached the elevator I pressed the button for the fifth floor, the metal doors sliding closed. "Although there's always a catch."

"What's that mean?" Levi asked as he leaned against the wall.

"Well, this place had a no pet rule." I sighed sadly, but I had Luther so it was alright.

He hummed in understanding. "That's no good. I couldn't live without Luther."

That statement made me glad I didn't take Luther when he asked. "He's precious for sure. Bossy, but precious." I said and the metal doors opened.

"Well, he is the boss." Levi chuckled as he followed me out.

I laughed and pulled out my keys, my apartment the first one on this floor. "I wouldn't have it any other way." I opened the door and let Levi inside, hoping it wasn't too dusty or else he might go on a cleaning spree. "So, do you want a tour or investigate the place for yourself?"

"I'm not like you Eren. As your guest I'd prefer to be shown around… instead of snooping."

"When have I ever snooped?" I asked, crossing my arms with a grin on my face.

"Well you found yourself a bedroom in my house." He shrugged. "I don't really care… it's not like I have anything to hide."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Really?" Now I wanted to snoop and find that out for myself.

"Okay, actually… don't get excited and try to be nosy." He huffed then, seeing right through me.

"Let's start with the kitchen." I said, quick to change the subject.

He followed me there and looked around. I waited for his nod of approval before showing him the rest of the apartment. The tour ended in my bedroom and I took a glance at my phone, noting the time. There was twenty minutes left now. My eyes went to Levi, his back to me as I studied him. I wasn't going to be around him until later tonight and I feared I might go through withdrawal. He turned around to tell me what he thought about my apartment and I was half listening as my gaze fell to his lips. _Twenty minutes is enough time to make out_, I thought and dropped my gaze further down to appreciate the black t-shirt he was wearing. Those damn muscles, they should have clued me in that he was a top. However in my defense, they were usually hidden in public. It wasn't uncommon for a bottom to be strong, but Levi was fucking ripped. It was part of the reason I went weak in the knees when he flipped me on my back. I didn't register that he had stopped talking until he started walking towards me. I looked back up in time to see him roll his eyes, his expression amused.

"You didn't hear a damn word I just said, did you?"

"Not really." I admitted and rested my arms around his shoulders when he stopped in front of me. "Tell me again?"

"Not a chance." He scoffed.

"Then I'll kiss you instead." I smiled cheekily before capturing his lips. It was a lazy and unhurried kiss, but there was heat behind it.

It wasn't long lasting though, not before Levi's hands moved to my hair and turned the kiss into one filled with hunger and passion. A few moments later and I ushered him to my bed, straddling his hips when he sat down on the mattress. One kiss always led to a million more when it came to us and ten minutes easily passed. I reluctantly pulled back a little, panting against his mouth.

"It's almost time, you should get going." I said, but didn't make a move to get off him.

"Damn." He breathed before closing the distance between our lips again, this time taking my bottom lip between his teeth and biting me none too gently.

_Five more minutes._

I happily repaid the action and tried not to get carried away. If we took things too far then we wouldn't be able to stop. I doubted there would be a day when I got tired of kissing Levi, it never failed to make me crave him. The time passed faster than I had liked and I was angry with myself once I broke the kiss again. I shouldn't have started this when I couldn't finish it.

"We really have to stop now." I said and ran my thumb over his bottom lip. "But we can pick this back up when I get home tonight."

Levi sighed and then suddenly flipped me off of him and onto my back. I was taken by surprise and thought he was about to attack me again, but instead he got off the bed. "See you later then." He grumbled, walking out before I could even say anything else.

I knew I would have some making up to do, but it couldn't be helped. We were already cutting it close. Mikasa called me when she was downstairs and I hurried to her car. Armin was in the front seat, eyes widening when he saw me. I got in the back and was about to ask why he was making that face when Mikasa started ranting.

"I thought the people that lived here were civilized, but apparently not. Someone on a motorcycle sped out of here and almost hit me. It's-" I tuned out the rest of her words, silently panicking.

I knew for a fact that was Levi and could only hope he had the front of his helmet down. Mikasa had a frighteningly good memory and she would recognize his face if she saw it. The car started moving and I was brought out of my thoughts, catching Armin's concerned look in the rearview mirror. At first it seemed like he was thinking the same thing I had, but I could see in his eyes that he was trying to tell me something. I opened my mouth to ask him what it was and he curtly shook his head before we started a conversation about the movie. I didn't know what his problem was and was too busy dealing with my own. I wasn't sure if I had dodged that bullet or not yet, but it seemed like I had. The ride to the theater was short since it was close by and I had relaxed as we all got out of the car. Armin tugged my arm and mouthed something, but I didn't catch it. Mikasa rounded her car and frowned when she looked at me.

"Eren, what happened?" She asked and I frowned as well.

"What do you mean?" I was fine.

Armin sighed in defeat. "Why do I bother?" He mused quietly as Mikasa stepped closer.

"You're lips, they're swollen. Did you hurt yourself?" She asked and I paled. _Shit._ Making out with Levi really had been a bad idea.

"I was uh, reading." I said, my mind racing to think of a lie. "There was a loud thud from the apartment next to mine and it scared me."

Mikasa looked at me in confusion and suspicion. "And you hurt your lips?" She said slowly, not buying it.

"I was on my back and dropped the book on my face when I heard it. I didn't think it did any damage." I said and mentally groaned. There was no way she was going to believe me.

"Or you did something embarrassing like running into the wall again and you're trying to lie about it." Armin chimed in and I rejoiced. He didn't like lying, but he was so much better at it than me.

Mikasa smiled and gave me a fond look. "Honestly, Eren. After all these years there is nothing you could do that would surprise me. You don't have to lie about it." _If only she knew._

I chuckled nervously, doing my best not to let Armin's save go to waste. She was buying his reasoning. "Maybe, but that doesn't mean I want to give you more things to hold over my head."

"It's too late for that." Mikasa pointed out. "In any case, let's get going. We still have to get snacks and pick out our seats."

I followed behind her as she started walking and tossed Armin a grateful look. That was a close one. We made our way inside and to the overpriced snacks that were on display. We bought what we wanted and even though Mikasa said we should hurry she took the longest to choose what to buy. She had a weakness for sweets ever since we were kids, it was really cute. Armin was quick to grab some seats in the middle of the theater room where the movie was being shown. I sat next to him and Mikasa next to me, no one else in sight. We were fairly early and the movie had come out a while ago. Most people had already seen it and that suited us just fine. Hopefully we would be the only ones that showed up, allowing us to talk freely and as loud as we wanted to. We chatted for a bit until the big screen lit up and the previews began. So far we were still alone and the more the minutes ticked by the more hopeful I got.

My wish came true when the lights dimmed and the 'please turn off your phones' message came up, we had the place to ourselves. It made things even better and we enjoyed every second. Mikasa would make hilarious comments and catch things in the background we didn't see. Armin had a rough time when the character he got emotionally invested in died before the movie was halfway over, but he recovered when the evil plans and counter plans picked up. It was honestly pretty complicated, but he explained it to me. I lived for the fight scenes, there was nothing better than seeing manipulative bastards get punched in the face. At one point I almost dropped all my popcorn. I thought the resolution of the plot was cliche until the whole thing turned on its head, the end of it being a cliffhanger. We would be seeing the second movie for sure and I couldn't decide if I liked the ending or not. It wasn't an open ending since there would be a continuation, but I still wanted to know now rather than later.

Overall the movie was great and we were talking about it on the way to the car. We went to dinner afterwards, Armin getting to pick because we felt bad about that character dying. He chose a buffet, not too expensive and somewhere that had things we all liked. Our conversation turned back to school and then long term goals and dreams. I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I wasn't particularly good at anything. It was a little frustrating to hear Armin talk about becoming a lawyer, already having his eye on a law firm. Mikasa was focusing on her required classes first like me, but only because she was on the fence about what she wanted to do. She hadn't decided between business and medical though she had a plan for each. I was the odd one out and it made me realize I needed to think about it more seriously, I couldn't put it off. The topic changed again once we walked to a nearby bar for some drinks, talking about the old days from before we met Mikasa to our college life. The three of us had been through some shit, but it had felt like a big deal back then when in reality things could have been way worse.

Armin was shy and smart, but he gave into peer pressure. Mikasa was single minded and antisocial, though that fanboy club in high school awakened her violent streak. I went from one extreme to the other, always doing my own thing and diving right into confrontations. We were one hell of a trio and our other friends didn't compare to the bond we shared. The bar was pretty chill and Armin had opted out as designated driver while Mikasa knocked them back like a champ. I had a few light drinks to give me a nice buzz, but I didn't go crazy. I knew my limits. Things took an unexpected turn when the alcohol finally started to hit Mikasa, she started talking romance. She pointed out how we were all single even though I really wasn't. Armin and Mikasa hadn't found a partner that they could see themselves being with for the rest of their lives. Armin had dated here and there, but Mikasa only had two men in her life that she had given a chance. Both didn't work or end well and I worried she was lonely. Armin had learned to be extremely picky after a particularly bad relationship, but I preferred that over him getting hurt.

As for me, I felt like my luck had changed. I was with someone I adored and who cared for me deeply. The way he looked at me, no one had ever done it like him. I couldn't begin to explain it, but I felt it. I felt it every time he touched me, every time his eyes met my own, it grew stronger every day. The same thing was happening with me. My feelings for him were growing and if I had to name it, if I had to say how I felt, it would be love. I loved Levi. However I couldn't let myself admit it just yet, not until I had an answer. It was getting late and we called it a night. Armin took the driver's seat while Mikasa sat in the back with me, holding onto my arm like she was afraid to let go. She was asleep when we got to my apartment and Armin got out of the car to talk to me before he took her home. He walked a little away, close enough to keep an eye on Mikasa but far enough that she wouldn't hear what we were saying if she woke up.

"So, how are things with Levi?" He asked with a knowing look.

"Good." I smiled and shoved his arm. "I'm happy."

Armin hummed thoughtfully. "You look happy . . . more than I've ever seen you before. He treats you well, doesn't he?"

"I'm spoiled. It's so different, I'm used to doing the spoiling and here I am turning into a lap cat." I chuckled.

Armin laughed, knowing full well how clingy I could be. "You were always the type to constantly be snuggling your lover. But a lap cat? I've never seen you sit in anyone's lap before. Just how smitten are you?"

"Oh shut up." I grinned, well aware that I looked love struck. "I can't help it. And he lets me every time too. Though I have to fight with Luther, he's probably in my spot right now."

"Luther?"

"His cat. Well, our cat. I've practically adopted him." I explained. "But yeah, it's been great. He's great."

"He's changed you . . ." Armin trailed, but his tone was light.

I furrowed my brow at his words. "How so?"

He shook his head. "You're a lot calmer somehow, more mellowed out. As much as you can be at least, you'll always be a deliberate mess."

_Deliberate?_ "What's that supposed to mean?" Had I really changed? I didn't think I was any different.

"It's a good thing." He assured with a smile. "You've found someone who can deal with you and your boundless energy."

"That doesn't sound like a compliment." I grumbled and he laughed again.

"So, how's the sex?"

"Armin!" I gasped in shock. The guy who blushed at anything related to the topic was really asking me about it with a straight face, what the hell? However, I had been meaning to tell him about it. "It's incredible. Not to mention that I've . . .. switched things up."

"Do tell." He encouraged curiously.

I bit my lip, anticipating his reaction. I told Armin practically everything and knew he was going to be surprised. "Levi only tops."

It took a second for it to sink in and when it did, Armin's jaw dropped. "You mean he . . . so then you . . . oh my."

"I know, can you believe it? There's actually someone out there who can make me submit—and make me fucking like it." I said shamelessly.

"Whoa, don't get too detailed!" Armin begged, blush finally appearing.

"Well, you asked." I shrugged, smirking at his expression.

Armin waved me off, having had enough. "Are you sure you don't want me to drive you back? Mikasa might stay passed out until morning."

"No, Levi will come get me." I told him before saying goodbye. "I'll see you at school Monday, okay?"

"Alright. Make sure you tell him to keep speeding to a minimum." He teased and I rolled my eyes.

He went back to the car and I watched him drive away, pulling out my phone after. I dialed Levi's number and waited for him to pick up. When he didn't I called back a few more times, figuring he was in his writing mode.

There still wasn't an answer and I sighed. "He's lucky he's so damn cute. Guess I'm taking the bus." I muttered out loud and searched the times for the night bus.

If I stayed here then he would worry when he came back into the outside world again, especially since I said I was going to. Besides, I didn't think I could fall asleep on my own anymore. I wanted to be home with him and if I had to wait for a bus at twelve something in the morning then so be it. The night bus times were far apart, but fortunately there would be one a little up the street in fifteen minutes. I put my phone away and began walking towards it. It was a little chilly out and the streets were bare. I expected more activity on a friday night although I wasn't complaining. It was nice, the wind felt good on my skin. I had just reached the bus stop when it stopped blowing and I heard a sound I hadn't noticed before, footsteps. I turned my head in a sideways glance, but faced the person once I realized who it was. I scowled and was met with a similar expression, neither one of us appearing happy at the sudden meeting.

"What are you doing here, Jean?" I asked, the alcohol in my system making the small patience I had for him nonexistent.

"You lied to me." He spat angrily.

I didn't know what he was talking about and I didn't care. I had already said everything I wanted to him, it would be best if he just left. "Go away, alright? There's no point in us talking."

Jeans eyebrow twitched and he clenched his fists. "Dismissing me and my feelings just like old times, huh? Cut the shit, Jaeger. I tried for the longest time to make things work, to put what I wanted aside so you could be happy, but you shoved it all back in my face and said 'fuck you'. Then I run into you again and try to show you that I still care about you. That I wanted to give us a second chance, but you said you still couldn't give me what I want."

I scoffed at his recollection of how things went down between us. "What the hell are you going on about? I'm not going to argue with you about the past, I'm done with it. What exactly are you trying to do? Get back together? Well that's not happening so you're wasting your time. We weren't meant to be."

"Because you won't let us!" He yelled, the rage in his eyes too familiar. "Now I have to wonder if you were even trying back then. What's so different about me, huh? I had always felt like you were out of my reach despite being by my side . . . I felt like you weren't giving as much as I was into our relationship and after what I heard, I'm certain you weren't. How is it then now that you've done it? Do you like taking it up the ass from Levi or whatever his name is? Does it get you off?"

I stared at him in disbelief, my temper wearing so thin it could snap at any second. "How do you know his name?" I asked evenly, voice just above a whisper.

"Oh, I heard it all from your very own lips while you were talking to Armin. How you like to fucking submit to that bastard. So that's what you're into, Eren? You like it when someone forces you?"

I was so pissed I was shaking. "_You_ . . . You goddamn stalker! Are you serious right now? Are you really this fucking insane?! I knew you could get obsessive, but this is a whole new level of batshit crazy. I never bottomed for you because I never wanted you in that way, end of story. Honestly, why am I even explaining myself to you? You don't know shit! Stay out of my business. Stay out of my life. Stay the _fuck_ away from me and don't _ever_ let Levi's name leave your mouth again."

Jean laughed, the sound sharp and bitter. "Seeing you like this, it really takes me back Eren. You're the one who doesn't know shit. You never cared enough to know, but I can show you now. I can fuck you so good you'll forget all about Levi."

A loud crack sounded and Jean fell to the ground, hand coming up to hold his bleeding nose. "You forgot who you're dealing with, horseface. Don't think I won't kick your ass." I growled, the only thing stopping me from hitting him again being the fact that I would end up killing him.

There was nothing else I could say, there was literally nothing else I could physically say without losing whatever self control I had left. I couldn't remember ever being this angry in my entire life, I wanted to scream. I hadn't noticed that the bus was driving up to the bus stop, but I was glad it was. I needed to get out of here. I needed to get away from him. Jean didn't say anything else and neither did I, I just got on the bus and ignored the questioning look from the bus driver. I was ready to go home where Levi was waiting, I had to get to him or else I feared I might explode. I needed to be with him as soon as possible. _Quicky. Drive faster before it's too late._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten- Levi**

Without Eren, my house was quiet and even more-so lonesome. I came straight home after dropping him off, trying not to be bothered by how desperate he was to get me out of there before his friends arrived. They'd almost busted him anyway, but I was honestly glad to get away before they pulled in completely. I didn't care to see that Armin guy again anyway and I wasn't so sure I ever wanted to meet that girl officially. Of course I didn't care that he wanted to go spend time with his friends, especially considering he hadn't been doing anything with them since he started living with me. Lunch at school, that was it. So I couldn't really be mad.

Still, it felt oddly strange sitting in my empty house. I had dinner before making a pot of coffee and deciding to write. The progress I'd made was astounding really, and I was happy with it. In my opinion, the second book was far superior to the first. Eren hadn't asked to read it yet but I assumed he wanted me to finish it first. He'd been busy reading other things anyway- some of which were mine. At the rate I was going, I estimated it to only take me another few weeks at the most to complete it and then I could edit it.

Luther followed me into my study and I was quick to pick him up and let him settle himself on my lap. I gave him a good rub down his back as I waited for my document to load, but I was distracted, my mind wandering. Eren had become a big part of my life even if I hadn't expected it-nor had I wanted it in the beginning. Everything was different with him. I wanted him though, definitely wanted him. I wanted him around all the time. This had never happened to me before.

That was probably part of the reason I never said anything when he got pissed off about Riku. Honestly, I'd expected him to handle Riku nowhere near as well as he had at the club that night so I couldn't complain. When I'd noticed Riku had texted me and Eren responded, I was surprised to find that it didn't bother me. If anyone else had dared go into my phone without my permission, I would have raised hell. But Eren… I couldn't be mad. In a way, it was like he had a right to send that response. Riku could be downright infuriating and we'd been fucking occasionally for years.

Now I was with Eren and things were different. He wasn't like the others. He never had been. I was tied to him and knowing that he would be completely devoted to me was more than enough for me to decide to give him the same respect in return. Eren was special. He turned me on more than anyone else ever had and I'd be damned if anyone was going to ruin what we had going.

The quiet had never been a friend of mine, so I was quick to dig my earbuds out of my drawer and hook them to my phone. I needed the music to concentrate. Once the soothing sound of my playlist began, I was able to clear my head and start writing. I didn't know why, but I wanted to finish it as soon as possible. That may have been because I was so excited for Eren to read it. I had plenty of time alone to write it now, but even if he was here… he wouldn't distract me. Sure he would make himself cozy on my lap and rest against me like it was his favorite place in the world, but it never bothered me. I missed it… even if it hadn't been long since I'd taken him to his apartment.

Eren was always considerate of me and my writing in particular. Even when he had to interrupt me for one reason or another, it was always easy to see how bothered he was when that happened and so, so often he would never say anything at all, barely even move… and he would fall asleep right there. I never knew another person could make me so happy. I never knew that I could even reach this level of happiness.

But thanks to Eren, I had.

While sipping on my coffee, I dove into my work and started writing. Every now and then I would check my word count, noting the way it increased drastically. Already twelve chapters. Only a few more to go. Things were getting dramatic at this point because an unexpected and forbidden romance had blossomed between the two main characters. Then one explicit scene, just to test myself where those two who were so hopelessly in love would be caught and ripped apart.

It was only halfway through that I'd changed the ending. Though I knew it was going to be tragic and I was going to piss myself off and probably Eren too, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be the only feasible option to go with. There would be a third part to write as well, but the ending was probably going to kill me before I could ever write it. I hoped Eren wouldn't cry. If he would be mad, I could understand and I could handle it. But I wasn't so sure I could ever take him crying.

My fingers were flying across the keys faster than ever, the determination to make things happen stronger than I'd ever felt it before. I couldn't stop and I didn't until I started the last chapter and had finished my coffee. I took a moment to think if I wanted to make more or not, knowing it wasn't a good idea and then went to check the time on my phone. It was already one in the morning. Eren wasn't home… but he'd called me several times.

Unplugging my earbuds and clearing out my music, I called back, but didn't get an answer and couldn't help but feel worried. Getting up, I let Luther down to the floor and left my study with him in tow. It was only when I got into the living room that the front door opened and in walked an angry looking Eren. I frowned at the unusual expression, not sure what to make of it.

"Something wrong?" I asked, figuring I had better make another pot of coffee after all.

His teal-green eyes softened when they looked at me, but he was still fuming. "Levi . . . do something, please . . . I can't calm down . . . calm me down." He begged.

This was a new side of Eren that I wasn't sure what to do with. I had no idea what was going on, but I wanted to be able to help him. Moving to the couch, I sat down and patted my lap, beckoning him over. "Come on, let's talk about it."

He was quick to take his spot on my lap, clinging to me as he trembled. "Hold me." He whispered.

I wrapped my arms around him and sighed, really hoping this had nothing to do with his friends and me. "What happened? Did you and your friends get into a fight?"

"No . . . no, everything was fine." He told me. "But then I went to the bus stop and my ex showed up. That fucking bastard."

My hands gripped onto his shirt and my mind whirled. It wasn't like I didn't assume Eren had exes but for him to mention one of them… I didn't like it. I really didn't like that something had transpired between them, ending in Eren being so upset.

"What the fuck did he do?" I asked, my tone surprisingly flat for how irritated I was.

"He was spouting nonsense. He thinks we could get back together, that he could get me back. The man is fucking delusional." He hissed, holding onto me tighter. "Crazy, he's completely crazy. Listening in on my conversation with Armin like that, damn stalker. All because I wouldn't let him top me when we were together and he hasn't let it go. Just thinking about what he said pisses me off. I should have broken more than his nose."

Listening to him rant only made me more irrational about the situation, until that last bit came out and I suddenly laughed. "You broke his nose? Damn." How impressive.

Eren snorted, the tension leaving his body. "I sure did and he should be thankful that was it. I heard it crack too, it was clear as day and really loud."

"Then I'm proud of you." I sighed and brought my hands up to cradle his face, staring into his eyes. "You shouldn't be too upset. He can want you as much as he likes. It won't get him anywhere."

"Yeah." He sighed, leaning into my touch. "I just . . . I'm finally happy and then he goes and throws the past in my face . . . I hate it. I hate him."

"Forget about him. You're mine anyway… and that means if he fucks with you again, he'll have to deal with me."

Eren finally smiled and I could feel his anger dissipate. "Thank you." He said softly and simply stared at me for awhile, a fond look in his eyes. "How did your writing go today?"

"Exemplary. Actually… I'm so close to finishing." I admitted excitedly. "But there were some changes regarding the plot I had to make and… I'm not so sure you're going to find it appealing."

"Uh oh . . . I can't wait to read it, I've been trying so hard to be patient but . . . what did you do?" He asked hesitantly.

I shook my head, smiling cheekily at him. "Not spoiling."

"What?" He whined and started to pout.

"To be honest… as much as I want you to read it, I'm having second thoughts." I confessed quietly and flicked his lips with my finger. "I will say that things get a little sad and I don't want you to cry."

He dropped his head and buried his face in my neck. "You've definitely killed someone you shouldn't have." He groaned. "It's your story . . . do what you have to do. I'll be strong. Somehow."

I chuckled softly, fingers now threading through his hair. "Really, you don't have to read it."

"You wrote it, so I'm reading it." He said firmly. "Don't keep it from me."

"Oh, I wouldn't do that." After all, I was itching for him to read it. "I guess when I think about it, a few tears won't be so bad. That would only mean I did a good job. Right?"

"Right. Make me cry as much as you want." He said and then sighed in content. He waited a moment before adding, "I missed you."

"Then how about a kiss?" I asked suggestively, never being able to get enough of those lips.

He raised his head and leaned in until our noses were touching. "I did say something about picking up where we left off when I got home . . . and you made my lips so swollen."

There was something about leaving my mark on him that I couldn't prevent. I needed it and right now, his skin was so flawless. Not a single mark from me. Those perfect lips were no longer swollen either, so I had a lot of work to do.

It was always so easy for Eren and I to lose ourselves to each other- and even more so enjoyable. The night didn't end for us until the sun was already rising and the next day, I returned to writing while Eren cooked something for breakfast. I stopped only when it was time to eat and then we discussed exactly what we were going to do for the day.

Eren wanted to get out of the house and I thought it was a good idea. That was about all we did, sit in the house, cuddle and fuck. There was nothing wrong with doing other things on occasion, even if that was outside of my norm. Everything when it came to Eren was outside of my norm. He made a lot of suggestions, equally as excited about each of them. I thought over them as he suggested them, wanting to do something we would both enjoy.

Something totally unrelated to any of his ideas hit me and I excused myself, going into my study to call in a favor. I never considered myself as one to have friends, but I supposed my acquaintances were good to have on occasion. I spoke with Hanji for a few moments and was far from happy when she tried to manipulate my request into getting something in return. Still, I agreed and grabbed my smaller notebook, quickly jotting down my current works information for her. She was always crazy about my ideas, even if she never read much of my writing… and nothing since junior high. Nothing important. But her excitement never dimmed and she was a good woman.

When everything was settled, I stuffed the small notebook in my back pocket and returned to the living room where Eren was playing with Luther. He was dressed comfortably in jeans and a collar shirt. I knew he was excited and eager to get going and so was I. As long as he was happy, I would be happy too.

"I want to go to the bookstore." I said, hoping he wouldn't dislike the idea since it wasn't one of his own. "I have a feeling we could have fun there."

"Alright. I'm always up for finding new books." He said and gave Luther a few more pets before standing up. "Are we going now?"

"Yes." I nodded. "And everything is on me today. So, I'll buy you as many books as you want."

He beamed at me. "Really?"

"Of course." I smiled and walked into the kitchen, grabbing my keys and wallet. "We'll be taking the car… in case you get carried away."

He laughed as I led the way out the garage door. "I won't. Probably." He teased.

"If you don't, I may end up disappointed." I teased him, eager to get to the bookstore and watch his day be made.

"I can't have that." He said after we got in the car, putting our seatbelts on. "Okay, you've convinced me. I'll go all out."

So undeniably adorable. With a smile on my face, I drove us to the bookstore, holding his hand and listening to him talk about different releases that had recently come out. It was nice. Just us-for now-and we were both happy. I knew that would only increase once we made it to the bookstore, or not long after anyway.

When we arrived, the two of us walked in and started skimming through the shelves. I wasn't really looking for anything in particular, but Eren was bound and determined to find some gems. I was just waiting, eyes darting around every so often in search of Hanji. I knew she wouldn't be too long, but she did have a farther drive than we did. We were in the bookstore for about half an hour and Eren had already chosen quite a few books when I spotted her.

Hanji was dressed nicely in a pencil skirt and a white blouse, though she wore a thick grey coat over the ensemble, a scarf was wrapped around her neck as well. I rolled my eyes at noticing she was always sporting a large but fashionable hat and sunglasses. She may fool some people, but she wasn't fooling me.

"Wow, I hardly recognized you." I joked lamely as she walked up to me and she giggled.

"Oh, Levi, I'm so happy you reached out to me. It's so unlike you. I've been bouncing in excitement this whole time. Hand it over!"

So demanding. "Fine. As long as you brought what I asked for… and you treat my friend like you love him. Because you fucking should."

"Yes, yes. I brought it! I will! Now give me!" She groaned and I dug the notebook out of my back pocket, handing it over to her quickly.

Hanji squealed quietly and clutched the notebook to her chest before dropping it in her purse and pulling out one of her books. I checked it over myself to make sure it was right and when I noticed it was, I turned to look at Eren. He was busy reading a summary at the time, but I didn't mind interrupting him.

"Eren." I called quietly, but loud enough that I knew he'd hear me.

"Ooh, that's him? He's adorable! Oh my!" Hanji bounced on her feet, giggling excitedly.

Eren looked up at the sound of my voice and put the book back, walking over to us after. "Yeah?"

Hanji shoved me out of the way before I could say anything, grinning widely at Eren and extending her hand. "Hello Eren, I'm Hanji Zoe." She told him, speaking quietly so as not to be overheard.

Eren's eyes widened at the name of his favorite author, looking closer to confirm it really was her. "No way!" He whisper yelled, taking her offered hand. "What are you doing here?"

She shook his hand as if she was excited as him. "Oh well, a friend of Levi's is a friend of mine ow-" She was cut off when I kicked her ankle discreetly but she was quick to laugh it off. "What I meant to say was, I heard that you were a true-blue fan of my work and goodness, I was just so excited to know that someone like you loved my stories so much that I brought you this," She laughed lightly as she pulled the book out of her pocket book, having noticed I'd put it back. "I hope you will accept it."

"Uh, sure. Of course." He said and took it, shooting me excited looks despite trying to contain himself in front Hanji. Then he examined the fully released version of her new book, the one he had wanted when the power went out. A gasp left his lips and he quickly found that it was signed as well. "Thank you so much! It really means a lot to me that you would go out of your way like this. I hope this book becomes a bestseller just like your others."

Hanji laughed and waved him off. "Don't be silly. As long as sweet people like you are reading, I don't care about nonsensical things like that. Now, let's take a picture together!"

"Oh, no. I couldn't." He said and looked at me for help, though I could tell he really wanted to.

I pulled out my phone and got my camera ready. "Say cheese you dorks." I grinned and Hanji stripped her shades off for the picture, squeezing Eren in a tight hug.

The first picture, Eren looked shocked and full of disbelief but before I took the second photo he'd started laughing, his entire face lighting up. It was a great picture but the moment didn't last for long before a shout was heard behind us.

"Oh my god! Miss Zoe?"

Hanji cursed and put on her shades before kissing Eren's cheek quickly and then doing the same to me. "Well love you guys but that's my cue to run. See you!" She said and ran off laughing.

I shook my head as I watched her go, thankful I would never have to worry about such situations. She was silly, overly excitable but sweet. If she ever needed me, I would be there for her and vice versa.

"Levi . . . that just happened." Eren voiced. "I really met her . . . and she gave me a signed copy of her book . . . whoa."

"I know. Like… I'm just as shocked." I lied and inwardly cringed at how lame it sounded.

Eren grinned at me, a knowing expression on his face. "I want to kiss you senseless right now."

"Whoa, what?" I raised my brows and held up my hands. "I'm not one to make a scene… but shit. I won't stop you even if I don't get the reason."

He shook his head, rolling his eyes fondly before taking one of my raised hands and pulling me behind a bookshelf. Then he proceeded to make good on his words, minutes passing as he devoured my mouth without giving me a chance to kiss back. He had placed his precious book on the shelf so his hands could tug and card through my black hair, not leaving an inch between us. I was surrounded by him, crowded against the bookshelf as he had his way with me. The kiss ended with one final and harsh bite to my bottom lip while we both struggled to breathe.

"Damn it, Eren." I huffed. "Don't you ever tease me like that again."

"Well I can't help it if you keep doing stuff like this." He sassed and picked up his book. "And it's not a tease if I plan to follow through."

"Oh you will, I'll make sure of it." I muttered, already eager to get back home now. "Okay, go get your books."

He fixed my hair before nodding and scurrying off. I just couldn't stand how he made me feel but I definitely craved it. While he was off doing his choosings, I searched through the books myself and found a few I thought he'd like before he returned. I made sure to choose novels that were recent releases so he wouldn't already have them. I'd already gotten sight of his large collection at his apartment, so I knew I had to be careful. But I also knew that he hadn't been buying any specific new novels, so I was sure I was okay with the ones I'd picked.

Eren met me, having gathered several books of his own. It was nice that he was now as eager to go as I was. We waited in line and I paid for all the books, smiling at the way Eren cheesed as he held the bag full of his new goodies excitedly. When we left the bookstore, I took his hand in mine as we walked to the car. Then we drove home and ravaged each other again and again, never being able to have enough.

On Sunday we had another outing, just to the park where we walked around and enjoyed the nice weather. Even if it was cool, it had been a beautiful day. We had ice cream and then we went out to eat dinner before heading home. It was a great weekend but then Monday came and it was back to school time. I'd been writing less, probably because I was putting off the ending while also wanting it to be perfection.

During lunch, I went to the library with coffee instead of food. It seemed like a good idea to start my careful edit since I was putting off the ending foolishly. I put my earbuds in, got my music started and began reading slowly so as not to miss even the smallest typo. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to get very far before my left earbud was gently pulled from my ear and I jerked my head to the side to see Takima kneeling beside me.

"Hey." He greeted me softly, only meeting my eyes for an instant before he looked away and blushed.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up from him approaching me-and knowing exactly what was on his mind. Every now and then we would hook up. Before Eren had bulldozed his way into my life. And more often, Takima would just want to suck me off. He was rather good at it, so I'd never turned it down before but things had changed now. I was with Eren.

"No." I said, responding to his greeting and silent question coldly. It wasn't his fault, no, but I needed to be firm so he would know there were lines now that were uncrossable.

"Huh?" He frowned and I sighed.

"I'm not interested. I'm with someone now." He needed to know that I didn't want him. Eren was the only one I wanted.

Takima's face fell and his lips mulled together for a moment. "Really… but I-"

"There is no fucking buts about it." I hissed quietly and shut my laptop, quickly gathering my things. Takima stood as well and I ignored his distraught expression. "Let it go."

He didn't respond, which was probably for the best. I put my bag over my shoulder and sighed after he'd hurried away from me. My eyes widened in surprise when Eren suddenly appeared before me, walking out from behind a bookshelf. I swallowed hard, wondering if he'd been witness to the whole interaction but didn't have a chance to worry much about it before he wrapped his arms around me. His lips connected with mine in a chaste but hard kiss. It was quick and over as fast as it had happened.

I stared at him in wonder, able to tell by his soft expression that he wasn't mad at me. "I'm sorry." I said, unsure why I was really apologizing. I'd done nothing wrong… but I supposed I was sorry to have been approached at all. I didn't want anything to upset him.

"Levi . . . let's go home." He told me, bringing his hand up to stroke my cheek.

"Alright."

Things were quiet on the way home and I was certainly glad to be there, away from school and the damn library. I set my things down on the counter and thought about starting dinner but Eren took my hand and started pulling me through the kitchen, past the living room and down the hallway. He led me to my bedroom and we sat on the bed next to each other. I stared down at our hands as he held them both, knowing there was something he wanted to talk about and it more than likely had something to do with what happened in the library.

"I need you to know something." He began, his expression relaxed and tone gentle, but his eyes were full of so many different emotions. "I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere, that I'm here without reservations or back up options. And I need to know that the same is true for you and you're in this one hundred percent. The lease for my apartment will be up soon and I'm not planning to renew it . . . there isn't a point if I'm staying here. But I want you to do something for me, it's important . . . I want you to delete those numbers in your cell phone."

His words were a lot for me to take in, because I hadn't expected them. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him here, everyday. I didn't like even thinking about him going back to his apartment. I had a lot of numbers in my cell phone… but I knew which ones he was talking about. If that meant I'd have to let go of Riku's number too and the poetry, then so be it. My answer was simple.

"Okay." I didn't care about those numbers and I didn't need a back up plan for sex if something did happen between Eren and I.

Eren let out a shaky breath and his head fell to my shoulder. "Thank you." He whispered, squeezing my hands tightly. "Now . . . now I can finally say it."

I breathed in slowly, deeply and closed my eyes. "Say what?" I asked, even though I had a feeling I knew what it was.

"Levi Ackerman." He said, smile obvious in his voice. "I love you."

Even having a feeling before the words spilled from his lips, hearing them still made me anxious. I didn't understand. "Why…" Why would he go that far?

Eren raised his head and I opened my eyes to see a blush on his face, the brightest smile on his lips. "Come on, don't make me list _every_ reason . . . because you hold me at night and play with my hair. Because you cook for me even if you're running on an hour of sleep. Because you let me cuddle as much as I want even when you're busy. Because you treat me with such care and make me feel like . . . like . . . like no one else ever has. I love you because you're _you_."

I wasn't expecting him to have so many reasons, even more than I wasn't ready to hear the words. My neck heated and I didn't know what to say—completely at a loss.

"Don't look so shocked." He teased with a laugh. "Levi . . . just kiss me."

That much, I could do. I didn't know about this guy, he was insane. Absolutely insane. But, I kissed him like he was the most precious thing in the world to me and even if I couldn't say that I loved him, I supposed that he was.

There was something much more soft and heartfelt about the way we held each other and even the way our lips pressed together now. Eren's hands slid down my chest and held tight to my shirt while mine took purchase in his hair. Our lips connected again and again, slow, tender- each kiss meaningful and passionate.

It seemed like the slower we tried to take things, the hotter things got. When our tongues met with the slightest of touches, I noticed Eren was trembling. His hold on me loosened and his breathing was erratic. I kissed down his cheek to his neck and swirled my tongue around in a small circle before closing my mouth around it and sucking slowly.

The sweet moan that fell from his lips had a groan rumbling in my throat but I didn't stop sucking on his neck. I did move one hand down from his hair, taking my time unbuttoning the few buttons his shirt had so I could enjoy more of his skin.

My hand slid further down, getting a good feel of him all the way down to his jeans and I rubbed across his erection firmly. The resounding whine that fell from his lips had me pushing him down on the bed. I lifted his shirt up and moved down to trail kisses along the newly exposed skin. Every shudder, every arch, every sudden breath made me want him more and more.

Eren surrendered to me, and took only what I gave, asking for nothing more. But I made sure to give him all that he needed and more, taking things slower than we ever had. Surprisingly, afterwards we were more spent than we ever had been and it had taken everything I had just to get out of bed long after the fact and cook dinner. After we ate we took a shower together and then went straight to sleep.

The following days were passing by in a blur. Eren and I did have a routine that we stuck to for the most part and we were both content with things as they were. I'd deleted all the numbers out of my phone that I didn't need anymore and nobody had tried to step back into my life- all of them taking the hint that I was no longer interested.

I went back to work on my book, finishing a thorough edit before actually writing the ending- which I was more pleased with than I'd expected. The weekend after that on Saturday, Eren had gone to spend some time with his friends and I was dozing in and out on the couch when Hanji showed up at my house unexpectedly. It had been a long time since she'd stopped by, but there was always a reason and usually one that pissed me off.

There was no reason for me not to let her in though, so I did. She came barrelling in as soon as the door was open and went on raving about my work for over half an hour before I could even speak. She wanted me to publish and wouldn't accept the fact that I wasn't interested. We both sat on the couch and talked over drinks and I went in more detail about the second part of my series.

"I know that you've never wanted to publish, but you need to realize how idiotic you're being. Jesus, Levi… The ideas you have alone are works of art! You could be making millions!"

That wasn't a reason for me to share my stories with the world. I took a swallow of the liquor in my glass before looking at her. "I already have that." Money was something I'd never have to worry about.

Hanji rolled her eyes and crossed her legs. "Then how about the millions of people who would want to have such a good read? You're robbing them, Levi. You're the most imaginative person I've ever met."

"I don't want the fame. The book signings. The interviews. The traveling. I just want to go to college and be normal for once in my life. And that's what I'm doing." She would never understand. She used to be normal.

"The fame doesn't mean you'll have to let people into your personal life." She sighed and drained her glass. "What about Eren? You really like him, huh? How happy would he be if you shared your work with the world?"

I sighed and filled my glass again. "I prefer to share it with only him. There's nothing I would get out of publishing. And if Eren can't convince me then neither can you."

"Levi… your talent is meant to be known. Stop trying to hide who you really are. There are writers out there who will never find the means to publish their works but you could do it with ease and you're just going to throw everything away?"

"Yes." There was no sense in lying. "I write for fun. That's it. I don't care to make a career out of it."

Hanji groaned. "But you and I both know that writing means everything to you! You don't understand how fulfilled you'd be if you did publish."

She never was one to see reason even if it was thrown at her. "I have no desire. No need. No reason." I muttered and then had another swig of my drink.

"You don't need any of that to publish. Just do it because you can." She said, reaching over and taking hold of my free hand. "I promise you won't regret it. At least talk to the agent and let her read the first novel. Hear what she has to say and maybe you'll change your mind."

"Hanji… you're pissing me off." I growled and had another drink, but it seemed that no amount of alcohol was going to calm me.

"Well," She sighed. "I'm not going to back down so you might as well save us both some time and give in."

I should have never let her read those ideas. I should have never told her anything. "If I talk to the agent, you'll back off?"

She hesitated as she met my gaze but nodded solemnly. "Yes. Only because I'm confident she'll be able to convince you."

Finally the publishing talk was dropped and the two of us drank until we were both red in the face and she had her ride return to pick her up. By then I couldn't even walk straight but I knew it was late, the sun having already set. I got up and stripped on my way to my bedroom, too hot for the excess clothes. I plopped down on my bed in my briefs and sucked in a breath as I started spinning.

As I laid there, I held my head and cursed myself for overdoing it and then heard footsteps. Knowing it was Eren, I didn't bother pulling my hands away even though they were covering my eyes. He'd stayed out later than I expected it. It could have been the alcohol, but I was feeling a little down because of it. The bedroom door opened and Eren paused for a moment before coming over to join me. He wormed his way on top of my chest and wrapped his arm around me.

"Hey." He said quietly. "Are you alright?"

If only the bed would stop moving. "Yeh 'mkay."

"Whoa." Eren chuckled. "You're completely hammered. What's the occasion?" He asked and repositioned himself, laying beside me so he could massage my head.

It felt good so I wasn't sure why I swatted his hand away and rolled away from him. Because my words wouldn't come out like I wanted them to, I decided to keep my mouth shut and just close my eyes.

"I was just teasing, don't be mad." He said and reached over to rub my arm. "Come here, what's wrong?"

"No." I huffed, pouting. I really wanted him here but at the same time I wanted him to leave me alone.

He moved closer and brought his lips to my ear. "Levi, don't be like that." He said softly. "Let me snuggle you."

"No. Away." I slurred and snorted. I'd definitely over done it. How infuriating.

"Leviiiii." He whined, wrapping his arm around me again. "I want to cuddle. Why are you so upset, hm? You can tell me."

He should know. But I supposed it didn't matter. I shouldn't even be upset. I was though and I couldn't help it. "What...ever." I said, willing myself to stop being a brat. Only he could be a brat. Not me. "G'night."

Eren was quiet for a few seconds before he responded. "Goodnight." He said and settled behind me, not letting go.

I wasn't really mad at him. I was just drunk and upset that he'd been gone so long, which was wrong of me. His life didn't revolve around me and I didn't expect it to. Really. I guess I just missed him… it was ridiculous but painfully true. With these thoughts on my mind and my head still spinning, I eventually drifted off to sleep—all too aware of him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven- Eren**

Hanging out with Mikasa and Armin again had been great, but I hadn't expected to come home to a drunk and standoffish Levi. It was rare to see him so out of it and I didn't like how he tried to keep his distance. However, I knew he wasn't going to tell me anything and trying to talk with him in that state wouldn't do much good. So I decided not to press him and go to sleep, cuddling with him whether he wanted to or not. Why he had gotten so drunk in the first place was on my mind the next morning.

I stared down at his sleeping face and didn't envy the headache from hell he was probably going to have. I laid beside him for awhile and gently ran my fingers through his hair until I heard Luther meowing. I got up and opened the bedroom door to find him sitting right outside, tail swishing back and forth. It was impossible for me to hold back a fond grin as I picked him up, carrying him into the kitchen. He purred as I went about making him breakfast one handed. It wasn't too late in the morning, but definitely later than our usual routine.

After I set him down along with his food, I got started on our breakfast. I figured Levi would be hungry and cooked a large breakfast. Once I was finished, I took a glass of water into Levi's bedroom and into the bathroom to search for some headache medicine. Then I placed it and the glass of water on the nightstand where I was sure he would see it. I wasn't going to wake him up just yet, it would be better if he slept off as much as he could. I decided to take a quick shower before I would have to wake him so we could eat.

I was almost finished when the door opened and I heard Levi start brushing his teeth. "Morning." I said, mindful of my volume.

Levi grunted in response and I tried not to laugh as I imagined the look on his face. He had to be regretting all the drinks he had consumed, his expression grumpy and irritated. He left when he was finished and I got out of the shower not long afterwards. Both the medicine and the glass I left were gone and I could smell coffee as I padded down the hall. I went upstairs to get dressed before making my way back to the kitchen, joining Levi at the table. He looked exactly like I thought he would, though I hoped his head wasn't bothering him too badly. We began eating and I questioned him about last night.

"What had you drinking so much yesterday?"

Levi took a sip of his coffee and sighed. "Company that I needed to drink to deal with."

"Really?" That had me curious. "Who's capable of that?"

His eyes cut to me suspiciously before he looked down at his coffee cup. "Nobody to worry about. It wasn't important."

"O-kay." I mused, not understanding what he was suspicious of. "Well how is your headache? Did the medicine help at all?"

"I'm fine." He grumbled and returned to eating.

I sighed and put down my fork. "What did I do?" I asked, recognizing the attitude he was giving me.

Levi took another bite of his food, ignoring my question for a long moment. He even took another drink of his coffee before he spoke in response. "Nothing."

"Then why are you upset?" I asked, trying not to get annoyed. It was obvious that the hangover wasn't to blame, but I didn't know what was wrong. Everything was fine before I left yesterday.

A look of frustration clouded his features and he let out a deep sigh, getting up with his half eaten plate. "I just have a lot on my mind, Eren. Let it go."

I huffed at his back, not liking his dismissive tone. He dumped the rest of his food in the trash and put his plate in the sink. If he didn't want to tell me then fine, I wouldn't worry about it. I went back to eating my own food and didn't look up when he came over to grab his coffee. Then he went out of the kitchen without another word, most likely to his study. I sat by myself and stabbed at my food to take out my frustration. Once I was done, I put my plate in the sink as well and went up to my room to read for awhile. I wasn't too worried about what he was doing last night, he had my trust and after deleting those numbers from his phone I had no reason to doubt him. However, the fact that he was mad at me but wouldn't say why got on my nerves.

Usually he would confide in me or tell me he would talk about it when he was ready, but if it had something to do with me then he would keep his distance and give me that indifferent attitude of his. He could be moody all he wanted, I wasn't going to deal with it. I stayed in my room and was on my second book when Luther pawed his way through my slightly ajar door. He hopped on my bed and demanded some attention, headbutting my book out of the way so I would pet him. I gave him what he wanted and played with him a bit, giggling as he rolled around on my mattress. Soon I felt eyes on me and looked towards the open door to find Levi standing there.

"I want to show you something." He told me as soon as our eyes met.

I pouted and went back to playing with Luther. "Well I don't want to look."

"What?" Levi quipped in surprise and stood quiet for a while before walking into my room and up to my bed. "Don't act like that. Look, I'm sorry I've been brushing you off but it's your own fault."

"I tried to ask what I did but you wouldn't tell me." I countered. Honestly, I didn't even do anything . . . did I?

He scoffed. "Of course you did! You were gone all day and half the damn night. You should have been home with me." Levi crossed his arms and turned his back to me.

I opened my mouth to retort, but closed it as his words sunk in. So that was the reason, this was all because he missed me? My irritation faded away and I hid a smile in my pillow. He was so cute.

"I see." I said, trying not to let how happy I was show in my voice. "I was out too long . . ."

"Damn right you were." He growled. "Now will you come read my shit or not?"

I sat up quickly at that. "Read what?" I asked and then gasped. "Did you finish it?"

"I did." He breathed. "I can't wait for you to read it any longer."

"Show me! Show me!" I grinned excitedly and flew off the bed, not waiting for him as I headed down the stairs.

I ran into the study and plopped down in his chair. I had been waiting so long for this and now I could finally read it, it was finally ready. I got sucked into the world Levi had written after the first few sentences and I didn't know if he had followed me into the study. I was wrapped up in the story and its characters, immediately getting invested. The more I read the more I was anticipating what happened next. The love between the two main characters was beautiful, but I was so caught up in it that I forgot about what Levi had said. He warned me the ending would reduce me to tears, but he hadn't said anything about a sex scene.

My jaw dropped at the unexpected text and I could feel myself start to blush. I knew first hand how explicit Levi could be, however I hadn't expected him to show it in his writing. It had me biting my lip and squirming in the chair. I wasn't ready for them to suddenly be separated right after and I had almost got up to ask Levi what the hell he was doing, but I had to read and see what was going to happen. It all went downhill and I feared for the worst, but the main characters were able to reunite again. Though the relief I felt was short lived and the more I read the more I was shaking my head. I didn't want it to be true and it got harder to see the words on the screen as my eyes filled with tears.

It ended with the main characters ready to die together, hugging each other with their heads lined up beside one another. One of them held up a gun to his temple and I clenched my fists as the last scene closed with a shot echoing in the air. Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared at the screen in disbelief, it couldn't end like that. No way, how could Levi kill them? After what they went through to get together, to stay together, it all ended in death? What the hell is wrong with him? I got up from the chair and wiped my face, leaving the study to go look for him. I found him in the living room drinking coffee as if everything was fine in the world. That bastard.

"How could you do that to me? To them?" I asked as I fell onto the couch beside him. "I know I told you to do what you had to do, but I didn't tell you to kill them!"

Levi set his coffee cup down on the end table and pulled out his cigarettes, lighting one before saying, "You hated it…"

"No . . ." I admitted, a little bitter. "But that can't be the end . . . it's so sad . . ."

"Before I say anything… tell me what you think without letting your emotions over the ending get in the way."

I sighed and grabbed a pillow to hold. "It was wonderful . . . I was rooting for the main characters since the first day they met, the chemistry between them was so strong. It was impossible not to fall in love with them. The obstacles they had to overcome fit into the story well, especially that one in the twentieth chapter. The uh, scene in the next chapter . . ." I trailed, feeling a little embarrassed for no reason. "It was good . . . really good. And even though all hell broke loose afterwards, it didn't ruin the moment. I was really worried about them and was glad they were able to find each other again. It might have been a tragic ending . . . but at least they were together."

Levi smoked on his cigarette, absorbing my words for a while. "So then… you actually liked it?"

"I loved it." I told him honestly. "Regardless of how I wanted it to end, it was still amazing. I expected no less from you."

"Well then… I assume you'll be pleased to learn that I've plotted out the entire third part. It's not over."

"W-what?" I stammered. "How . . . but they died. Are you picking it up from one of the main character's best friends?"

"I won't spoil you. But I'm sure you will be happy with everything in the end." He said and smiled happily at me.

Just like always, he left me hanging about his stories. "I'm forever in anticipation." I sighed. "But as a writer, that's how you want your readers to feel." I said and returned his smile. "Although, I can't help but ask . . ."

"Ask what?"

"When are you starting the third one?" I didn't want to rush him per say, but I wanted to know.

"That eager, huh?" He chuckled. "I've actually already started. A few days ago."

I didn't know whether to feel happy it was already in the works or appalled that he held out on me. "Well I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm glad." Levi said, voice soft and full of sincerity. "Oh by the way… I have someone I have to meet tonight. I'll be gone for a few hours at most."

"Alright." I said, though found it a little odd. "Who are you meeting up with?"

He put out his cigarette and then tugged me over to him. "Well… that's a secret." He told me before kissing me softly.

Definitely up to something. "I like secrets."

"Shut up and kiss me." He grumbled and dug his fingers into my hair, kissing me once more.

I wasn't buying it, but I let him kiss me anyway. I figured he was planning something again like he had with my favorite author. Meeting Hanji Zoe in person and getting a copy of her signed book was one of the best moments of my life. If he was doing something like that again, I certainly wasn't going to complain. We made out for about ten minutes before Levi went to go work on his next book. I got a blanket from the living room and sat on his lap, taking a nap. When I woke up Levi went to take a shower and I made us something to eat. It had gotten later than I thought and I had slept longer than I meant to. After we ate, I went to curl up on the couch with Luther and Levi put a movie in for me. Then he pet Luther and gave me a kiss before he left for his meeting.

I watched the movie for the first hour and a half he was gone and then went back into his study. Then I pulled up the story I had read earlier and went through it again, both because I wanted to make sure there weren't any typos and also just to read it again. Once I got done with that, I put another movie in and settled back on the couch where Luther was sleeping. Levi returned home just as the credits started rolling and I listened as he made his way down the hall. He came into the living room and I greeted him with warm smile.

"How did it go?" I asked and pulled the cover up so he could get under and join me.

Levi returned my smile and got next to me, snuggling close. "It went well. I'm pretty tired now though."

"Oh, was it really intense?" I asked and ran my fingers through his black hair.

He hummed and enjoyed my touch for a moment before saying anything. "More than I expected. Yes."

I grabbed the remote and switched over to the tv. "Do you want to go to bed then?" I asked, but I doubted I could fall asleep after my long nap. It was one of those rare moments when I was all for sleeping on the couch. "I'll be up for a bit, but you can stay out here with me."

Levi frowned at my neck. "Why don't you want to lay in bed with me? You can watch tv… I don't care."

"Okay." I agreed. I was comfy here, but it would be even comfier in his bedroom. "Want me to carry you?" I joked.

"Tsk. As if." He scoffed and got up off the couch to his feet. "I wouldn't want you dropping me."

I stood as well, careful not to disturb Luther. "Hey, I didn't drop you that one time when you were sick. Not that I'm volunteering to do it again. You're heavy as hell."

"Maybe you're just weak." He teased, taking my hand and pulling me down the hallway towards his room.

I laughed and shook my head. "You know better, you've seen how muscular I am." I wasn't super ripped like he was, but I was very fit.

"That doesn't mean that you're strong enough to carry me." He laughed as he opened his bedroom door and pulled me inside.

"I told you, you're just heavy." I insisted. "It's all that muscle."

"That reminds me, I should hit the gym soon. And you should too." He told me as we got in bed together and he held me tight.

I turned on the tv and made sure the volume was low. "Alright. But I'm still not carrying you."

"I'd much rather carry you." He murmured and then yawned. "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't." I promised and listened as his breathing evened out.

He fell asleep in a matter of minutes and I watched tv until my eyes grew heavy. Next week was going to be busy, my lease would end and we had to move all of my furniture out of the apartment. Most of my clothes and things were already here, though most of my books and other stuff had to be moved. I could sell whatever I didn't want to take or put it in storage. Armin said he would help and I had finally decided to come clean to Mikasa before I started moving. I planned to invite her over to my place and start from the beginning, it was time to tell her everything.

I wasn't as worried as I used to be now that I knew Levi was giving this relationship his all. I hoped that since the circumstances were different, she wouldn't be as pissed, but it was honestly up in the air. I wanted her to come to terms with it though even if she ended up disliking Levi for the foreseeable future. He was going to be in my life for a long time, forever if I had anything to say about it. He was staying and she would have to deal with it.

I woke up Sunday morning with my face buried in Levi's chest. He was playing with my dark brown hair as his other hand ran up and down my back, almost coaxing me back to sleep. I smiled into his shirt and snuggled impossibly closer. We stayed like that for a while and I actually did fall asleep again, waking up some time later. I was surprised to find Levi sleeping beside me, I thought for sure he would have gotten up earlier. I decided to get up before this cycle continued and we ended up staying in bed all day, not that it would be a bad thing.

However, we had school tomorrow and couldn't be up all night. I brushed my teeth before padding into the kitchen to feed Luther. A knock came at the door and Luther paused in eating his breakfast to share a confused look with me. He didn't pay it any mind and went back to his food, but I had a door to answer. The knocking continued and I went over to the front door, opening it to find a familiar face.

"Riku." I said, tone boring even though I was growingly irritated. What did he want?

He smiled as if he was amused to see me. "Have you been here this whole time?"

"Of course . . . though you wouldn't know that, would you?" I mused. "Did you need something?"

"No I honestly didn't think Levi would still have you here, since he came to see me last night. I'm good though. I can come back another time." He laughed.

Just what was he trying to pull? As if I would believe that. "Sure, he came to see you." I said sarcastically, but the fact that he knew Levi was out last night was odd. Was he stalking him? "You shouldn't waste your time, you know. If I were you I wouldn't come back at all."

"I guess you really are different from all the others—if he's keeping secrets from you. See the difference between you and I is that I don't give a damn about him fucking you and anybody else. Because he's still going to want me too. Like last night. When he came home, what happened? I already know… he went straight to bed."

He was really starting to piss me off. "Is there a reason you're spouting this nonsense?" I asked, not liking that his guess about what Levi did was right. "I'm not interested in hearing your lies and fantasies. How about you give me some proof? Otherwise I have better things to do." I didn't need to listen to this shit and I had half a mind to kick his ass.

"Oh, shit thanks for reminding me." He laughed again and dug something out of his pocket. "I actually did stop by to bring him this. But you can just give it to him." He handed me Levi's phone and I stared down at it like it was a ghost. "See ya." He snorted then and walked off.

I shakily closed the door and slid down to the floor, disbelief taking over me followed by denial. There was no way, it wasn't true. Levi wouldn't . . . he wouldn't do this to me. It couldn't happen. It just couldn't, he wouldn't cheat on me. And yet, why the fuck did that bastard Riku have his phone? I didn't want to believe it, but what other choice did I have? He knew Levi had gone out last night when he rarely ever goes out. He knew Levi had been tired and gone straight to bed.

Both of those things would be something I could try and pass off as coincidence, but his cell phone wasn't. Even if Riku had been stalking him, there was no way he could've gotten a hold of Levi's phone. Levi would have noticed something like that and he wouldn't have let Riku get that close in the first place, so how? I clutched his phone in my hands, anger washing over me as the truth stared me in the face. Levi had forgotten his phone at Riku's place . . . after they slept together.

I didn't want it to be true, but there wasn't any other explanation. I was . . . I was played. What I feared most happened and he had the nerve to try and hide it, to go behind my back. He went and fucked someone else and then came home and got in bed with me. After everything that he said and promised, after showing me that our relationship was worth the risk, it didn't mean shit. It meant nothing to him now that he had gotten what he wanted. He got me to trust him, he had me just where he wanted me and now he was going off to sleep with one of his hoes.

Is that all I was this whole time? Just another number to add to his phone? How could I have been so stupid? I almost threw his phone across the room, but I stood and slammed it down on the coffee table instead. I was so caught up in my anger that I didn't notice I scared Luther. This was different then when I punched Jean, it hurt way worse and blazed hotter. I was furious. How dare he? How _dare_ he do this to me?

I almost went to the bedroom but made a beeline for the stairs, I didn't know what I would do if I went in there. I grabbed the biggest bag I could find and started packing my things. I couldn't stay here another second, I couldn't look at him after what he had done. I was disgusted and knew if I didn't get out I was going to hurt him. However, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. No. He wasn't going to see how much he affected me, how deeply he stabbed me in the heart.

Although I wasn't going to let him off scott free either. Once I gathered my things, I left a note on his desk in his study. Then I got out of there as fast as I could. It didn't matter if I had to take the bus, I just had to get away. I went upstairs to my apartment and locked the door. My breaths were coming in and out staggered and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I flung my bag on the ground and went over to my books, throwing them all over the place and not caring if they broke anything.

I slammed my bedroom door opened and screamed out my frustration, not caring about the neighbors. It was enough to vent most of my anger away and allow despair to take its place. Why? Why did this have to happen? I fell onto my bed and cursed at myself for starting to cry. He didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve to be cried over, but . . . I loved him. I _told _him I loved him and yet he still treated me this way. He had gotten me committed and unable to forget him . . . just like all his other whores. That's all I was, a piece of ass. Though what hurt most was the fact that he didn't love me, that much was obvious now. I wasn't worth his love and perhaps he wasn't even capable of it. I didn't understand how he could do this and I doubted I ever would, what could he gain by ripping my heart out?

Did he think I was tough and would be able to handle it? Or did he just not care? What part of it was real and what part was all an act? I wasn't sure how long I laid there and cried, unable to hold back the tears. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I woke up to someone banging on the door. I covered my ears and ignored it, it didn't matter who it was. I didn't want to see anyone. It kept going for a few minutes and then there was silence. I curled into myself and tried to will the pain away, but it was useless. All I could think about was how cold the bed was without someone to share it with.

Suddenly the door slammed open and hurried steps came towards my bedroom, causing me to jolt upwards just in time to see Mikasa walking in. She looked absolutely livid, but her voice was soft when she spoke.

"Eren Yeager, you tell me what's going on right now." She ordered. "You weren't at school. I had to pick the lock to get in and your apartment is a wreck. You weren't answering your phone and . . . you've been crying." She came over to sit on the bed and I let her pull me into her arms. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and clung to her, wishing I had told her everything from the beginning. Then I wouldn't have to go through this. I was quiet for awhile and tried to steady myself before I explained what happened. I didn't go into every little detail, but I covered all the important things as she listened. I had thought afterwards she would have lectured me, I expected it. However, all she did was call me an idiot and hold me. It made things harder, having her comfort me rather than yell, but I was grateful all the same. She could tell I was at my limits and she wasn't going to make things worse. Tears filled my teal-green eyes again and I didn't bother trying to keep them in. I didn't want any of this, I wished none of it had happened.

All I want was to be with Levi, but that wasn't possible now. I hated it. I hated it so much. I never loved anyone like I loved him and what we had was special . . . wasn't it? Why did it all have to fall apart?

"I-it hurts, Mikasa." I cried. "It hurts so much."

"Shhh, I know." She soothed and rubbed my back. "Just forget him. You're too good for him anyway, you know that?"

I shook my head again, but she said I was and that she would take care of me. She didn't know, he made me happier than I thought I could be. He had been so good to me before . . . I thought we were in it together. I loved him more than anything, he was so important to me and I did my best to show him that. I had become his exception and he let me into his life, more so than anyone else. He had to have felt something for me if even just a little. I meant something to him, didn't I? It couldn't really be all over, I didn't know what I would do without him. Had I done something wrong or did he get bored of me? I knew I shouldn't think that way, that nothing good came from blaming myself. I knew he was to blame. He had chosen this and threw away everything we had together. However, none of that mattered when I felt so worthless. It was different from all my past break ups, I hadn't fallen as fast and as deeply in love with any of them.

Levi was a first for me in more ways than he would ever know and yet that still wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. There could be no clearer or harsher truth than that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve- Levi**

Immediately upon waking up, I knew I'd slept far longer than I should have because I felt horrible. I stretched in bed, groggy and still feeling tired. Eren must have gotten tired of laying with me—which didn't happen often. Dragging myself out of bed, I went to have a shower and felt a little better afterwards.

Feeling lazy, I dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. Then I left my room, wanting coffee and also wanting to see what Eren was up to. He wasn't in the living room or kitchen, but I didn't think much of it. I just started my pot of coffee before wandering into my study. I thought he might have been there, reading something but it was also empty.

My brows furrowed when I spotted a note on my desk and my first thought was that he had to go somewhere, but I couldn't have been prepared for what the note said.

_I finally figured it out . . . so you decided to go back to oranges and pears after all. I guess that makes me the foolish apple, huh? Don't bother trying to come after me, I don't want to hear what you have to say. I've heard enough. I've been hurt enough. Take care of Luther or I'll kick your ass._

"What the fuck…"

With narrowed eyes, I read over his writing again and again but only became more and more confused. What was he saying and where did it come from? It didn't make sense. It had to be some ridiculous joke.

Leaving my study, I jogged upstairs to his room but found it as empty as the rest of the house. But even more so… because he had taken all of his things. Everything was gone, as if nothing had ever been here to begin with.

I didn't panic, even though I had come close to doing so. I just fixed my cup of coffee and sat on the couch with a cigarette. I stared at my phone that was laying on the coffee table for a moment before calling him. His phone was off, going straight to voicemail. My frown deepened and I sighed.

Where did this come from? Was Eren just fucking with me to see how I would react to this? No… he took all of his things. He wouldn't do that. He said he loved me… and even though I hadn't been able to say the same in return, I knew his feelings were genuine. He wouldn't leave for no reason. He wanted to be here as much as I wanted him here.

As I sat there, I thought over everything that had happened between us the day before—specifically last night after I'd gotten home. I was tired and I did ask him to lay in the bed with me but he didn't seem to mind. Did I cross some sort of line there? Did I make him upset for sleeping too long?

No… he was talking fruit and that could only mean one thing. He thought I was fucking somebody else. But why… why the hell would he think that? I'd had no contact with any other guys. Only him. I didn't want anyone else and I thought I made that clear. So how could he even think I would betray him?

Because I left? No… then he would have been upset with me last night but he wasn't. There was nothing out of the ordinary so what was I missing?

I read over the note a few more times, but no matter how many times I read it, I couldn't figure out what had happened. He told me not to come after him which pissed me off. He couldn't just leave. He couldn't leave me. For no reason. I needed a reason. I didn't do anything wrong.

No matter how many times I tried to call, his phone went straight to voicemail and eventually I gave up. Whatever was bothering him, I guessed I just needed to give him some time. I would see him tomorrow at school and confront him then. It wasn't like he could hide from me. I wanted to know what he thought I'd done and then tell him how wrong he was.

My frustrations only worsened throughout the day and I couldn't sleep that night, but I was eager to get to school the next morning. However, depression quickly drowned me when I found that he wasn't there. Why… why was he doing this? What brought this on? I couldn't figure it out.

I left at lunch and tried to call him again when I walked out to my bike, but still his phone was off. I couldn't stand it. There was no way in hell I was going to let him do this to me.

I left school on my bike and drove to his apartment. We were going to get to the bottom of this and he was going to explain this nonsense to me. While I tried to keep calm, I was so angry that the attempt was laughable. I wouldn't be satisfied until I talked to him.

When I hurried up to his door, I knocked quickly and several times until the door was opened. But it wasn't Eren. It was that girl. That friend of his that he'd always tried to keep me from meeting and she appeared just as pissed as I was.

"Where's Eren?" I asked, tone cold and flat.

"As far away from you as possible." She muttered and went to close the door in my face but I stopped it.

"I need to talk to him!" I snapped, body starting to shake with adrenaline and anxiety.

"Well that's too bad because you don't get to. Why are you here? Haven't you done enough damage? If I knew it wouldn't end up hurting Eren even more I would handle you myself."

I glared at her, even more frustrated now. "I haven't done anything!" I growled, fists clenching at my sides. "I don't understand. I need to talk to him. There's obviously been a mistake!" She had to believe me. Eren was so precious to me. I would never hurt him.

"His mistake was giving you a chance in the first place!" She spat, dark eyes flaring. "You honestly have the nerve to come here and say you haven't done anything? Why don't you take yourself home and think about it. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"No. I'm not fucking leaving. And since you know so damn much why don't you tell me? Tell me what I did!"

She laughed, the sound harsh and cruel. "You really are a heartless bastard, aren't you? Fine. If it'll get you to leave then I'll give you a hint. Riku or whatever his name is was also apart of this, wasn't he? Go have him refresh your memory and while you're at it, tell him if I ever see him his ass is mine."

When she closed the door then, I didn't bother stopping her because I was more confused than I already had been. What did this have to do with Riku? What the hell did he do? The last thing I wanted to do was have to go question him about this. I didn't want him in my business—or anything related to Eren but if I had no other choice, I would confront him.

This was absolutely ridiculous. Why would Eren refuse to talk to me because of Riku? I did see him the night before Eren left… but it damn sure wasn't because I wanted to. It was Hanji's fault, dragging him along to the meeting with the agent. The three of them had hounded me for hours and discussed my book as if they had more to do with it than I did. It was exhausting and annoying.

Would Eren consider me being around Riku… cheating? No… it had to be more than that. But I didn't have his number anymore so I would have to see him in person. I didn't like the idea at all, but I would do whatever I had to do to get to the bottom of this.

The only place I knew Riku to hang out at was the nightclub that sponsored the open mic nights on occasion. He owned the place so he was likely to be there. So later that night, I made my way to the club to talk to him.

He was at the desk as I expected when I walked in and his eyes widened at seeing me. "Oh, Levi… what a pleasant surprise."

"Is it?" I asked, eyes narrowed as I slid my hands in my pockets.

"Well yeah. You don't usually come by unless we're doing open mic." He chuckled and stood up as he looked at me. "You want to have a drink?"

"No. I want to know what you have to do with Eren leaving me." I told him simply and took in the way his eyes darkened at my words.

"What?" He asked quietly, but I didn't miss the fact that he didn't sound surprised or upset. "What are you talking about, Levi?"

I glared at him then, not liking his attitude. "Don't fuck with me, Riku. If you know something, tell me!"

"Whoa, whoa!" He grabbed my arm to pull me aside but I snatched away from him. He sighed. "Look, you don't need to cause a scene, Levi. Please don't yell."

My jaw tensed but I took a deep breath to calm down. "I'm serious. Eren left and it has something to do with you. Why?"

"I really don't understand. Is it because I went with you and Hanji to meet with the agent?" He took a moment to think it over, as if he really didn't know.

Maybe that was all it was… but then… how would Eren even know Riku went? "No. It wasn't that." I frowned, my heart feeling heavy and my mind exhausted. "Just forget it."

"Levi," Riku called after me but I hurried to leave, needing to get away.

I drove around for a while, trying to clear my head but it wasn't working out for me. Eventually, I went home and sat on the couch, playing with Luther before taking him over to his bowls to feed him. I hadn't eaten, but I didn't have an appetite at all. I didn't even want coffee, but I did force myself to drink a bottle of water.

It was so quiet. I was used to quiet back before I met Eren… I was almost always alone. It was normal. But that wasn't my normal anymore. I figured things would eventually work out and I would get to talk to Eren myself when he came back to school, but Tuesday and Wednesday passed with no sign of him—and by then, I was going crazy.

Wednesday night I sat on the floor in the den, drinking straight out of the bottle while I absentmindedly rolled the ball of yarn around for Luther to play. I didn't know what time it was and I didn't care. If Eren was going to just keep avoiding me, there was no point in caring.

But I couldn't give up, right… I had to keep trying because I needed him. He was too important for me to just let go. I actually… I loved him. For the first time in my life, I really and truly loved someone. And there was no way in hell I was letting him go.

So I stopped drinking and made myself go to bed, returning to school in hopes of seeing him at some point. That never happened though. After a week I found out that Eren had transferred out of our English class and he was never at lunch like he usually was. I never saw his friends either.

The more time that passed, the more obvious it became that Eren was not going to let me talk to him. I couldn't even see him. I was hoping for no reason. It was over and he didn't care. He didn't care that I was suffering like this and I didn't do a damn thing to deserve it.

So after two weeks, I let go. Because I had to. I thought I was doing it for my own sanity. But as more days passed, I just started slipping more and more away. It was all too easy to do. Way too easy.

Hanji came by after some time and I let her in, ignoring the concerned look she gave me. She complained about how horrible I looked for a while and I ignored her as I poured myself a drink. I'd been sleeping on the couch when she showed up.

"Levi… it's not even noon and you're drinking liquor?" She frowned.

"If there's nothing you want, you can see yourself out." I told her quietly.

She scoffed and crossed her arms. "Well I came to tell you that my agent has been trying to reach you… but I'm more concerned about your health at this point."

I rolled my eyes and went to feed Luther before responding. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."

"Fine. Then why are you not consulting with the agent? There is an offer for your book, Levi."

That didn't mean anything to me. "So…"

"Levi… it's a million dollar offer. You can't refuse it."

A million? That was… impressive. "Whatever." I honestly didn't care anymore. "She can do as she wishes."

"So you'll publish?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't make me any difference." I said as I took a drink. "Now you have what you want, so leave me."

Hanji hesitated but left me after a moment, seeing that now wasn't a good time to test me. After that, I stopped going to school altogether and my days blended together, all of them the same. I played with Luther and drank, sometimes forcing myself to eat even though I never wanted food.

Hanji texted me on occasion, as did the agent. They were keeping me updated even though I didn't care. Only one thing caught my interest. To be able to dedicate my book to someone. I wanted that. Even if he was no longer with me, I wanted that book to be dedicated to him. So I requested that and nothing more.

A million dollars richer, but what for? Money meant nothing to me. There was nothing important for me to spend my money on. As long as I lived comfortably, I couldn't ask for more. But now I couldn't even be happy. Things could never mellow out for me without Eren. Back in the day I would have sought company from someone else, if only for a few hours. There was no interest in that for me now though. If I couldn't have Eren, I didn't want anyone.

Apparently things with publishing the book were going well, but it didn't mean anything to me. It had been almost two months now since Eren had left me so spontaneously. I hadn't even laid eyes on him since that night. I missed him. I would always miss him I supposed… because I loved him. This hurt wouldn't fade easily and it was possible that it never would. I lost my muse, couldn't write anymore, had no will to do anything. At all. I was losing weight, drinking more than ever and didn't give a damn.

But I would take care of Luther if it was the last thing I did.

One evening I was halfway through a bottle, already thoroughly intoxicated when there was a knock on my door. My heart skipped a beat, thinking it was Eren and I hurried to open the door. But my face and my heart fell at seeing it was Riku.

His eyes widened at the sight of me and a deep frown pulled at his features. "Levi? Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. "Shit, you look horrible!"

"The fuck you want?" I snapped and moved back to the couch, fumbling around until I found my cigarettes and lit one.

"Well I just thought I'd come see you…" Riku trailed off, sounding a bit put off. "I'm worried though… I've never seen a speck of dust in this place and yet it looks like a dump. There are empty liquor bottles everywhere. Cigarettes everywhere. Hell, it actually stinks."

I shrugged and took a long draw from my cigarette. "Doesn't fucking matter."

Riku looked at me, brows pulled together in concern. "What… happened to you? This isn't you at all."

It was now… this was me. Maybe it was because I was so drunk and needed to vent, but I spilled out my feelings before I could think better of it. "Eren left me. He's gone. He's fucking gone." I bit my lip and dropped my cigarette into one of the empty liquor bottles since the ashtray was overflowing.

"...Eren?" Riku breathed, sounding surprised. "So what if he left! You don't need him. I can keep you company."

He reached over to touch me and I grabbed his wrist, twisting it harshly. "Don't you dare fucking touch me." I hissed. "Don't you see?! I do need him. But I can't find him. I can't talk to him. He fucking hates me and I didn't even do anything."

Riku didn't say anything for a while and I palmed my face in my misery. I couldn't take it anymore. Honestly, I just wanted to cry. But I was too dehydrated to form any tears.

"Levi…"

"Just be quiet. Nothing matters anymore. There's nothing I can do to fix it."

"I… I'm sorry."

I dropped my hands and looked at him, the guilt in his eyes not getting past me no matter how drunk I was. "Why are you sorry?" I asked, surprising even myself from how calm my voice was.

Riku looked down and twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Well… I may know something that I didn't tell you before."

I laughed quietly, even though nothing was remotely funny in this situation. He'd known something this whole time and yet he'd kept it from me.

"Now just keep calm… but I'm going to tell you even if you kill me."

"Then don't hesitate." I grumbled, legs bouncing in anticipation.

He sighed. "Well I… you had left your phone and I came over to bring it to you. But Eren answered the door. I was jealous and stupid and said some things, hoping he'd leave… never thinking that it would affect you like this."

My heart ached to the point that I could only lay a hand over my chest and breathe. "You… you sabotaged us!" I couldn't believe it and I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my hand around his throat. I was going to kill him. I didn't give a fuck.

"Le...vi!" He gasped and grabbed onto my wrist while trying to get from under me.

I groaned and pulled my hand away, moving both my hands to my hair and pulling it in my frustration. "Fuck!"

"L-Levi… I'm so sorry. Please… let me fix it!" He begged and I shook my head, shaking all over.

"You will." I said, breathing deeply. "You are going to fucking fix this if it's the last thing you do."

Eren needed to know the truth and if he still didn't want to be with me, I would accept it. But he was going to fucking know that I didn't hurt him. That I wouldn't ever hurt him. And Riku was going to be the one to tell him.


End file.
